............. Jonny, your voice makes me hungry for mashed potatoes and red wine.
Friday, April 29, 2005
My brother Jesse is a good mischief/travel buddy. Ever since I was a little kid and he rigged my little red wagon behind his tricycle, we've been off on adventures together.
Once on a bus in San Fransisco, we noticed that the bus driver had a sign near him that said, "Hello, my name is - " but he hadn't put up his name. So Jesse and I made a sign out of notebook paper and marker that said "Spanky" and Jesse used his gum to stick it on the sign with out the bus driver noticing, which is tricky, because if there was ever a race of people with eyes on the back of their heads, it's bus drivers.
We laughed the rest of the bus ride.
Once on a bus in San Fransisco, we noticed that the bus driver had a sign near him that said, "Hello, my name is - " but he hadn't put up his name. So Jesse and I made a sign out of notebook paper and marker that said "Spanky" and Jesse used his gum to stick it on the sign with out the bus driver noticing, which is tricky, because if there was ever a race of people with eyes on the back of their heads, it's bus drivers.
We laughed the rest of the bus ride.
"We're eating frosting for breakfast."
"On what?"
"Er, uh, spoons."
"Here Mr SalesGuy. I drew you a picture of a butterfly."
"But the butterfly has fangs."
"Yep."
"And the butterfly is saying, 'Mr SalesGuy, I'm coming to get you."
"Yeah."
"Uhm, ok."
"Coco, what does VJ say about [Owner/CEO]?"
"That I should always, no wait, NEVER poke him."
"Here MrSE-Engineer. I drew you a picture of a bunny."
"Oh yes, a bunny. A bunny with ......... bloodshot eyes. Thats interesting. And whats it saying here? 'Hi Mr.SE-Engineer, I know where you sleep at night.' Gee, that's ............... uh................ very nice. Very, ............ uh.............. creative. I guess."
"Coco, what does VJ say about [Ma Homie in Marketing]?"
"That he drinks in the parking lot when he thinks no one's looking?"
"No, Coco, the other thing."
"Oh. That I have to be nice to him."
"Here MrGuy in Product Development, I drew you a picture of some fruit."
"The fruit seems to be a mob of angry fruit. With torches and pitchforks."
"Uh-huh."
"Awesome."
"Coco, what does VJ say about [Ma OTHER Homie in Marketing]?"
"That he's a pretty pretty princess?"
"Here, MrVJ's Other Homie, I drew you a picture of some fruit. Look, an orange, a cherry, a grape, a lemon, an apple, a lime and a sasquatch."
"Coco! Is that how we play music in this car?!?!"
"Oh. Sorry."
*turns up to full volume, rolls down window and sings to passerbys*
"On what?"
"Er, uh, spoons."
"Here Mr SalesGuy. I drew you a picture of a butterfly."
"But the butterfly has fangs."
"Yep."
"And the butterfly is saying, 'Mr SalesGuy, I'm coming to get you."
"Yeah."
"Uhm, ok."
"Coco, what does VJ say about [Owner/CEO]?"
"That I should always, no wait, NEVER poke him."
"Here MrSE-Engineer. I drew you a picture of a bunny."
"Oh yes, a bunny. A bunny with ......... bloodshot eyes. Thats interesting. And whats it saying here? 'Hi Mr.SE-Engineer, I know where you sleep at night.' Gee, that's ............... uh................ very nice. Very, ............ uh.............. creative. I guess."
"Coco, what does VJ say about [Ma Homie in Marketing]?"
"That he drinks in the parking lot when he thinks no one's looking?"
"No, Coco, the other thing."
"Oh. That I have to be nice to him."
"Here MrGuy in Product Development, I drew you a picture of some fruit."
"The fruit seems to be a mob of angry fruit. With torches and pitchforks."
"Uh-huh."
"Awesome."
"Coco, what does VJ say about [Ma OTHER Homie in Marketing]?"
"That he's a pretty pretty princess?"
"Here, MrVJ's Other Homie, I drew you a picture of some fruit. Look, an orange, a cherry, a grape, a lemon, an apple, a lime and a sasquatch."
"Coco! Is that how we play music in this car?!?!"
"Oh. Sorry."
*turns up to full volume, rolls down window and sings to passerbys*
.......... a boyfriend that tears your attention away from a jewelry catalog to notice a rainbow in the sky.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
......... I have loads.
If you wanna know what my freckles look like, take a pack of Crayola Fine Point Markers and pull out the brown one. Dot the marker on your arm. That dot will exactly match the ones on my arm.
I learned this as a kid and used this technique to scare the crap out of my mother. I would add freckles so that they formed words on my arm.
"Mommy, it looks like the words 'spawn of satan' are forming in the freckles on my arm. Can you look?"
"Don't be silly, dear, I'm sure it's - OHMYGOD!"
That's still funny to me.
But mostly I've just been wondering whether it would be the height of self absortion to chart my freckles as in star maps and name the constelations. So far I've noticed that the two tiny-ity-bity ones in my lip that look like the star constelation the Hunting Dogs.
But anyway, Coco is drawing pictures of demented animals and giving them to the sales guys, who don't know how to react.
And speaking of demented animals, go here.
If you wanna know what my freckles look like, take a pack of Crayola Fine Point Markers and pull out the brown one. Dot the marker on your arm. That dot will exactly match the ones on my arm.
I learned this as a kid and used this technique to scare the crap out of my mother. I would add freckles so that they formed words on my arm.
"Mommy, it looks like the words 'spawn of satan' are forming in the freckles on my arm. Can you look?"
"Don't be silly, dear, I'm sure it's - OHMYGOD!"
That's still funny to me.
But mostly I've just been wondering whether it would be the height of self absortion to chart my freckles as in star maps and name the constelations. So far I've noticed that the two tiny-ity-bity ones in my lip that look like the star constelation the Hunting Dogs.
But anyway, Coco is drawing pictures of demented animals and giving them to the sales guys, who don't know how to react.
And speaking of demented animals, go here.
They came in today. I got -
Ghost
George of the Jungle
The Edge
Earth Girls are Easy
Doc Hollywood
Face Off
Happy Gilmore
Groundhogs Day
The Chase
Conspiracy Theory
Crocodile Dundee
Crocodile Dundee II
Dante's Peak
Monty Python's Life of Brian
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Joe's Apartment
Mad Love
Nick of Time
The River Wild
Titanic
To Die For
The X-Files Movie
Amazon Woman of the Moon
Airplane
Airplane II
Around the World in 80 Days
As Good As It Gets
Bad Girls
The Bodyguard
Boulevard
Random movie night, anyone?
Ghost
George of the Jungle
The Edge
Earth Girls are Easy
Doc Hollywood
Face Off
Happy Gilmore
Groundhogs Day
The Chase
Conspiracy Theory
Crocodile Dundee
Crocodile Dundee II
Dante's Peak
Monty Python's Life of Brian
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Joe's Apartment
Mad Love
Nick of Time
The River Wild
Titanic
To Die For
The X-Files Movie
Amazon Woman of the Moon
Airplane
Airplane II
Around the World in 80 Days
As Good As It Gets
Bad Girls
The Bodyguard
Boulevard
Random movie night, anyone?
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Valancy Jane Stirling's Aliases |
Your movie star name: Nachos Kenneth |
Your fashion designer name is Valancy Prague |
Your socialite name is Sweet Pea Ensenada |
Your fly girl / guy name is V Sti |
Your detective name is Owl Christian |
Your barfly name is Apricot Sangria |
Your soap opera name is Jane Cuyamaca |
Your rock star name is Black Licorice Hawk |
Your star wars name is Valdul Stijr |
Your punk rock band name is The Hungry Stapler |
......... for Bring Your Kid to Work Day.
Of course I used the words "quiet" and "responsible" in my description of her, but after reading the same words on my resume, I'm sure he knows better than to believe them.
Of course I used the words "quiet" and "responsible" in my description of her, but after reading the same words on my resume, I'm sure he knows better than to believe them.
No matter whether you like high school or not, just remember that the real world is nothing like it. However, many people will carry the self-image that they develop in those four years for the rest of their lives. This is sad and unhealthy, don't do it.
No one has ever asked or cared what my GPA was. (4.25, in case you are curious now.) But where (or whether) you went to college will follow you forever. The moral of the story, meet with your guidance couselor and ask what you need to get into the type of school you want. That's what you shoot for. And learn to write a killer essay. And join a service organization like Key Club or something. Don't wait until your senior year. Three or four years of a few consistant activities looks better than a hectically busy senior year.
You grades are often the reflection, not of your intelligence, but of your willpower. They are made of a million small decisions.
Always get the yearbook. And don't write about the inside joke joke of the day when you sign your friends yearbooks. In ten years you won't remember what you were talking about and neither will they. This is the ONE occasion in life where something corny is better than something funny.
If you are at a party with liquor, just remember, 10 times out of 10, it's not worth it. Trust me on this one, and I'll devote a whole letter to you guys about alcohol two days before your HS graduation party.
And while we talk about parties with liquor, just remember you can ALWAYS call me if you need a ride home from somewhere. If you have been drinking, if your ride has been drinking, anything. I promise I won't even give you an I'm-disappointed-in-you look until the hangover has worn off.
The thing that is so dangerous about pot, is that it really isn't so dangerous. You try it once, nothing bad happens, so you think, "Why not do this all the time?" That's when you get in trouble. You will end up baked-out stupid or just rather annoyingly slightly dumb, which is worse.
If you start to fall behind on homework, and the back-log of work starts to sound like too much, here's a trick. Work on it for half an hour. Then put it aside and go watch Boy Meets World or run around the block or something. Whatever you do during the times you aren't working on homework, DON'T THINK ABOUT THE HOMEWORK YOU AREN'T DOING. You ruin your break and make yourself less likely to go back to working on it. Only think about homework while you are working on it. And do work on it. It just a bummer, but suck it up and do it. Doing it sloppily while tired or burned out is better than not doing it at all. Consistency is better than brilliance.
Don't hate the beautiful people. For one thing, you might be what someone else considers one of them, and it's just a silly reason to resent someone. Everything is re-evaluated after high school anyway. Don't fear them or be too concerned with they say either. If you really believe that we're all just people, then act like it.
No one has ever asked or cared what my GPA was. (4.25, in case you are curious now.) But where (or whether) you went to college will follow you forever. The moral of the story, meet with your guidance couselor and ask what you need to get into the type of school you want. That's what you shoot for. And learn to write a killer essay. And join a service organization like Key Club or something. Don't wait until your senior year. Three or four years of a few consistant activities looks better than a hectically busy senior year.
You grades are often the reflection, not of your intelligence, but of your willpower. They are made of a million small decisions.
Always get the yearbook. And don't write about the inside joke joke of the day when you sign your friends yearbooks. In ten years you won't remember what you were talking about and neither will they. This is the ONE occasion in life where something corny is better than something funny.
If you are at a party with liquor, just remember, 10 times out of 10, it's not worth it. Trust me on this one, and I'll devote a whole letter to you guys about alcohol two days before your HS graduation party.
And while we talk about parties with liquor, just remember you can ALWAYS call me if you need a ride home from somewhere. If you have been drinking, if your ride has been drinking, anything. I promise I won't even give you an I'm-disappointed-in-you look until the hangover has worn off.
The thing that is so dangerous about pot, is that it really isn't so dangerous. You try it once, nothing bad happens, so you think, "Why not do this all the time?" That's when you get in trouble. You will end up baked-out stupid or just rather annoyingly slightly dumb, which is worse.
If you start to fall behind on homework, and the back-log of work starts to sound like too much, here's a trick. Work on it for half an hour. Then put it aside and go watch Boy Meets World or run around the block or something. Whatever you do during the times you aren't working on homework, DON'T THINK ABOUT THE HOMEWORK YOU AREN'T DOING. You ruin your break and make yourself less likely to go back to working on it. Only think about homework while you are working on it. And do work on it. It just a bummer, but suck it up and do it. Doing it sloppily while tired or burned out is better than not doing it at all. Consistency is better than brilliance.
Don't hate the beautiful people. For one thing, you might be what someone else considers one of them, and it's just a silly reason to resent someone. Everything is re-evaluated after high school anyway. Don't fear them or be too concerned with they say either. If you really believe that we're all just people, then act like it.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
| Lynxes (Lynx lynx) are compact, agile cats found in great numbers worldwide. Their coats are brownish gray and are covered with irregular spots. They have unique tufted ears and fluffy cheeks. Being a Lynx, you are a very quiet person. You have many talents yet prefer to keep them quiet rather than flaunting them boldly. Many admire you – and for good reason! |
 If I had lived 2000 years ago, I would have been... a Mayan!
|
..........I saw a little old arabic woman (incidently, I love their headcoverings, and I secretly long to wear one) crossing the street slowly with a walker, and a young hispanic man across the street dropped what he was doing, and ran to escort her across.
I like where I live.
I like where I live.
Monday, April 25, 2005
| Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
 |
What Is Your Seduction Style?
In high school my friend Katie, her sister Kristina and I were all sitting in her dad's car in the Costco parking lot. This guy strolls by, sees us, and begins doing that 'look at me' strut, trying to get our attention. It wasn't that we were giggling at him, so much as his utter self-consciousness. It was so obvious that he saw us, and wanted us to look at him but he wouldn't just look at us and smile. He's got a Costco shirt on, and some bungee cords over his shoulder, so we correctly guessed that he worked for the store and was bringing the carts in.
A few minutes later he comes back by, pulling about 8 million carts behind him. He's still trying to do the 'look at me' strut, but he was bent over double pulling the carts, and the effect was just that he was waving his butt in the air. We turned our heads sideways to avoid him seeing us giggle. We really were trying to be nice.
So just as he gets even with our car, HE RUNS OVER HIS FOOT WITH THE WHOLE LINE OF 8 MILLION CARTS. Now he's hopping up and down, holding his foot, swearing up a storm. Katie, Kristina and I have to dive to the floor of the car now, to avoide letting him see us laugh. I managed, between bellows of laughter, to say, "Should we go help him?" Katie says, "Only if you can do it with a straight face. He'd probably rather have a broken foot then have girls openly laughing at him."
By the time we pulled it together, he was gone.
Sorry dude.
A few minutes later he comes back by, pulling about 8 million carts behind him. He's still trying to do the 'look at me' strut, but he was bent over double pulling the carts, and the effect was just that he was waving his butt in the air. We turned our heads sideways to avoid him seeing us giggle. We really were trying to be nice.
So just as he gets even with our car, HE RUNS OVER HIS FOOT WITH THE WHOLE LINE OF 8 MILLION CARTS. Now he's hopping up and down, holding his foot, swearing up a storm. Katie, Kristina and I have to dive to the floor of the car now, to avoide letting him see us laugh. I managed, between bellows of laughter, to say, "Should we go help him?" Katie says, "Only if you can do it with a straight face. He'd probably rather have a broken foot then have girls openly laughing at him."
By the time we pulled it together, he was gone.
Sorry dude.
Friday night I took a bunch of the kidlets rollerskating, and that was fun. I only fell on my butt once, and everyone said it was quite graceful. Coco and chatted over nachos, and Timmy sat around, trying to make sense of what we said. Poor boy, what a lost cause.
So there was a group of little boys there, maybe 7-9 years old, that were obviously born on rollerblades, and they kept darting in front of me, assuming that I had the same mobility that they did. I grabbed one by the collar and said, "Listen kid, I've got one direction, and this is it. Forwards. You're gonna get run over if you keep doing that."
Coco and I took pictures in a photo booth, I wish I had scanned them to show you. In the first, I look normal and sane, and in the second, taken approximately 12 seconds later, I look like a crack addict.
Apparently this rink has a rule that if you're under sixteen, you can only leave with an adult, because it's not the best neighborhood, and you don't want to walk home by yourself. The rink manager didn't believe me at first that I was over 16. Coco was laughing so hard, and I'm like, "Welcome to my life, Coco." No one ever believes I'm 24.
The next morning I got up early, because we had to paint the Jr. High room at church.
Painting it was fun, in a 'none of us really know what we're doing' sort of way. The theme is the inside of a volcano, but until we get the finishing touches in, right now it looks a little like the 'welcome to hell' room. *giggle*
It was a lot of work, because we had to paint it like 4 or 5 times, to get the color right. But it will be worth it when it's all done.
At one point, Coco and I made a Starbucks run, but Coco neglected to mention that I had paint on my face like warpaint. Now wonder they looked at me funny. *giggle*
After getting sick on paint fumes, I went home and tried to scrub the paint off my body. Minimal sucess. Got most of the red paint off, but the black seems to have seeped deep into my skin, like a tattoo. A tattoo of an ink blot.
JR took me out to dinner Sat. night to Antonio's, my favorite mexican food place. We ate barbacoa and listened a great pair of mariachi singers, it was a lovely evening. Then we went back to JR's and watched The Notebook. Everyone warned me that it had a 'sad ending' but I think (SPOILER ALERT) I think an old couple dying on the same day is the only real happy ending there is. I've always said that all love affairs end unhappily, sooner or later, unless they die on the same day.
Sunday at church was fun, with my kidlets and all, except the part where I had a table dropped on my body. (If you're wondering how that happened, just remember, it was a room full of Jr. Highers. That should be all the explanation needed.)
Then after church I went on a cleaning binge, because my brother and his girlfriend were coming over for dinner. Dinner was fun and then we went to a coffee shop for desert and coffee. They were having a blues open mic night. The music was good, the coffee was good, the company was good (other than the fact that Jesse and Bethany beat us soundly at Yatzee. Twice.), even the 10 year old kid playing the electric guitar was surprisingly good.
So there was a group of little boys there, maybe 7-9 years old, that were obviously born on rollerblades, and they kept darting in front of me, assuming that I had the same mobility that they did. I grabbed one by the collar and said, "Listen kid, I've got one direction, and this is it. Forwards. You're gonna get run over if you keep doing that."
Coco and I took pictures in a photo booth, I wish I had scanned them to show you. In the first, I look normal and sane, and in the second, taken approximately 12 seconds later, I look like a crack addict.
Apparently this rink has a rule that if you're under sixteen, you can only leave with an adult, because it's not the best neighborhood, and you don't want to walk home by yourself. The rink manager didn't believe me at first that I was over 16. Coco was laughing so hard, and I'm like, "Welcome to my life, Coco." No one ever believes I'm 24.
The next morning I got up early, because we had to paint the Jr. High room at church.
Painting it was fun, in a 'none of us really know what we're doing' sort of way. The theme is the inside of a volcano, but until we get the finishing touches in, right now it looks a little like the 'welcome to hell' room. *giggle*
It was a lot of work, because we had to paint it like 4 or 5 times, to get the color right. But it will be worth it when it's all done.
At one point, Coco and I made a Starbucks run, but Coco neglected to mention that I had paint on my face like warpaint. Now wonder they looked at me funny. *giggle*
After getting sick on paint fumes, I went home and tried to scrub the paint off my body. Minimal sucess. Got most of the red paint off, but the black seems to have seeped deep into my skin, like a tattoo. A tattoo of an ink blot.
JR took me out to dinner Sat. night to Antonio's, my favorite mexican food place. We ate barbacoa and listened a great pair of mariachi singers, it was a lovely evening. Then we went back to JR's and watched The Notebook. Everyone warned me that it had a 'sad ending' but I think (SPOILER ALERT) I think an old couple dying on the same day is the only real happy ending there is. I've always said that all love affairs end unhappily, sooner or later, unless they die on the same day.
Sunday at church was fun, with my kidlets and all, except the part where I had a table dropped on my body. (If you're wondering how that happened, just remember, it was a room full of Jr. Highers. That should be all the explanation needed.)
Then after church I went on a cleaning binge, because my brother and his girlfriend were coming over for dinner. Dinner was fun and then we went to a coffee shop for desert and coffee. They were having a blues open mic night. The music was good, the coffee was good, the company was good (other than the fact that Jesse and Bethany beat us soundly at Yatzee. Twice.), even the 10 year old kid playing the electric guitar was surprisingly good.
I've got Get to Me, off the Private Nation CD, on repeat.
Well an airplane's faster than a cadillac,
And a whole lot smoother than a camels back,
I don't care how you get to me,
Just get to me.
Carousel a first class man
Get on the back of a nightgale
Get to me,
I don't care,
Just get to me.
Brokeheads, mopeds, take a limosine instead
They ain't cheap, but they easy to find.
Get on the highway, point yourself my way
Take a rollercoaster that comes in sideways,
Just get to me.
Would you ride on the back of a butterfly
There's no better way to fly
To get to me.
I look around, at what I got
Without you, it ain't a lot.
I got everything, with you, everything.
Well an airplane's faster than a cadillac,
And a whole lot smoother than a camels back,
I don't care how you get to me,
Just get to me.
Carousel a first class man
Get on the back of a nightgale
Get to me,
I don't care,
Just get to me.
Brokeheads, mopeds, take a limosine instead
They ain't cheap, but they easy to find.
Get on the highway, point yourself my way
Take a rollercoaster that comes in sideways,
Just get to me.
Would you ride on the back of a butterfly
There's no better way to fly
To get to me.
I look around, at what I got
Without you, it ain't a lot.
I got everything, with you, everything.
Friday, April 22, 2005
........ tonight I'm taking a bunch of Jr. Highers rollerskating. If that's not excitement and adventure, I don't know what is.
I [heart] my kidlets.
I [heart] my kidlets.
So I wanted to chat with my old roomie, Devin. I didn't know that Dev had just changed her number.
So I call the old number, and get a generic message, "You've reached such and such number...." the standard default message that the voicemail service puts there until you've changed it.
I left a message,
"Hey Dev, how's it going? Haven't talked to you in a bit, gimme a call! Bye!"
So a few days later, I get a call from a guy named Kevin, and I didn't know who it was, but if it was an old friend, I didn't want to offend him, so I chatted for a few minutes, hoping he would say something to clue me in on who he was. He was returning my message, and he had no clue who I was either, and was doing the same thing, hoping that I would say something that would jog his memory.
"So what have you been up too?"
"Not much. Haven't seen you since that one time, where were we?"
"Gosh, can't remember."
He 'fessed up first.
"Hey [VJ], I hate to admit this, but actually don't remember you at all."
"Actually, I have no idea who you are either."
"You left me a message, you said 'Hey Kev.'"
"Oh, I get it now."
So I call the old number, and get a generic message, "You've reached such and such number...." the standard default message that the voicemail service puts there until you've changed it.
I left a message,
"Hey Dev, how's it going? Haven't talked to you in a bit, gimme a call! Bye!"
So a few days later, I get a call from a guy named Kevin, and I didn't know who it was, but if it was an old friend, I didn't want to offend him, so I chatted for a few minutes, hoping he would say something to clue me in on who he was. He was returning my message, and he had no clue who I was either, and was doing the same thing, hoping that I would say something that would jog his memory.
"So what have you been up too?"
"Not much. Haven't seen you since that one time, where were we?"
"Gosh, can't remember."
He 'fessed up first.
"Hey [VJ], I hate to admit this, but actually don't remember you at all."
"Actually, I have no idea who you are either."
"You left me a message, you said 'Hey Kev.'"
"Oh, I get it now."
Have you ever been friends with someone who's language you don't speak?
I was thinking about that today. After monthes of trying to make the cleaning lady laugh, last week I finally accomplished it. I'd tried everything I could think of, even tying off the bags of shredding into animal ears and drawing faces on the bags. She just looked at me like I was crazy.
Last week I almost dropped an envelope, and so I did some silly bit like the envelope was attacking me. And she LAUGHED! I was so proud!
Now it seems like she understands that I'm trying to be funny, and she laughs at my goofiness all the time.
That makes me happy.
And it makes me think of Ray.
Ray is a guy that used to come to my church. He's deaf, and has some mental disabilities also. But he had a genuis for silent friendship. You could just touch his arm and point to something funny, or pretty or unsusual, and somehow he would know what you saw in it.
The only sign language I knew when I met him was the sign for 'I love you'. I started learning more, but eventually, I stopped because somehow it just didn't seem we needed any more than that.
I was thinking about that today. After monthes of trying to make the cleaning lady laugh, last week I finally accomplished it. I'd tried everything I could think of, even tying off the bags of shredding into animal ears and drawing faces on the bags. She just looked at me like I was crazy.
Last week I almost dropped an envelope, and so I did some silly bit like the envelope was attacking me. And she LAUGHED! I was so proud!
Now it seems like she understands that I'm trying to be funny, and she laughs at my goofiness all the time.
That makes me happy.
And it makes me think of Ray.
Ray is a guy that used to come to my church. He's deaf, and has some mental disabilities also. But he had a genuis for silent friendship. You could just touch his arm and point to something funny, or pretty or unsusual, and somehow he would know what you saw in it.
The only sign language I knew when I met him was the sign for 'I love you'. I started learning more, but eventually, I stopped because somehow it just didn't seem we needed any more than that.
'Rez - "I'm a girl, I don't have to make sense."
Daniel - "I'm a pretty, pretty princess."
Jonny O - "If you went to a restaurant and ordered a dish and they gave you a controlled explosion on a plate, would you complain or would you leave a tip?"
Daniel - "I'm a pretty, pretty princess."
Jonny O - "If you went to a restaurant and ordered a dish and they gave you a controlled explosion on a plate, would you complain or would you leave a tip?"
I got to thinking last night about my father. My father thinks only two things will motivate people, money and power.
Not so in my case. Which is probably why I continue to frustrate him to no end. I don't put myself under the authority of anyone that doesn't have my best interests at heart, and money doesn't have much value to me.
So, if you want something from me, these are the currency of my motivation -
Glitter pens (Col, seriously, how did you know that?)
Glitter in any form, really.
Cherry Tomatoes
Old second-hand books. Especially if the previous owner made notes in it.
A pet of any sort. Even a neopet. Even a pet rock. Just tell me I can name it.
A coffee mug. No matter how boring, how tacky, or how many others I already have.
Postcards, from Milwakee, from Argentina, from anywhere.
Let me name something of yours.
Potted plants
Craft Paper
Take a walk with me.
Dangly earrings
Pressed leaves or flowers
Roller skates
Offer to take a dance or art or history class with me.
Unusual beads
A stuffed animal you 'rescued' from a yardsale.
A donation to a charity
An old beat up tin that I can put treasures in.
A blank notebook
Anything drawn by a child with a crayon.
Crayons. Especially green ones.
Christmas ornaments shaped like any sort of animal.
Coins that have some sort of nick or bent in them.
Old b&w photographs of people I never knew, and can wonder about.
Offer to tell me a sad love story from your life.
Offer to let me arrange your filing cabinet.
Bracelets, preferably ones that clink together when I move.
Outdated maps of obscure places.
A cold root beer.
Black licorice jelly beans
Bubbles
Little glass bottles
Odd spoons
Wooden spoons
Vintage travel posters
Flip flops (you can never have too many)
A carne asada burrito, and a horchata
A mix cd of songs that you like, but can't explain why you like.
Tea
Teabags
An old silk scarf you found amoung the old lady hats at a thrift shop.
Cute socks
Drink coasters
Tell me a story of San Diego history.
Tell me a story you made up.
Show me how to do something cool to my blog.
Tell me you like my blog.
Tell me you like me.
Tell me you love me.
Not so in my case. Which is probably why I continue to frustrate him to no end. I don't put myself under the authority of anyone that doesn't have my best interests at heart, and money doesn't have much value to me.
So, if you want something from me, these are the currency of my motivation -
Glitter pens (Col, seriously, how did you know that?)
Glitter in any form, really.
Cherry Tomatoes
Old second-hand books. Especially if the previous owner made notes in it.
A pet of any sort. Even a neopet. Even a pet rock. Just tell me I can name it.
A coffee mug. No matter how boring, how tacky, or how many others I already have.
Postcards, from Milwakee, from Argentina, from anywhere.
Let me name something of yours.
Potted plants
Craft Paper
Take a walk with me.
Dangly earrings
Pressed leaves or flowers
Roller skates
Offer to take a dance or art or history class with me.
Unusual beads
A stuffed animal you 'rescued' from a yardsale.
A donation to a charity
An old beat up tin that I can put treasures in.
A blank notebook
Anything drawn by a child with a crayon.
Crayons. Especially green ones.
Christmas ornaments shaped like any sort of animal.
Coins that have some sort of nick or bent in them.
Old b&w photographs of people I never knew, and can wonder about.
Offer to tell me a sad love story from your life.
Offer to let me arrange your filing cabinet.
Bracelets, preferably ones that clink together when I move.
Outdated maps of obscure places.
A cold root beer.
Black licorice jelly beans
Bubbles
Little glass bottles
Odd spoons
Wooden spoons
Vintage travel posters
Flip flops (you can never have too many)
A carne asada burrito, and a horchata
A mix cd of songs that you like, but can't explain why you like.
Tea
Teabags
An old silk scarf you found amoung the old lady hats at a thrift shop.
Cute socks
Drink coasters
Tell me a story of San Diego history.
Tell me a story you made up.
Show me how to do something cool to my blog.
Tell me you like my blog.
Tell me you like me.
Tell me you love me.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Really, it’s a long story, but suffice it to say, there was mass amounts of drama at work yesterday, and my boss backed me unquestioningly, and made the whole storm blow out of the lobby.
He’s a lovely person, and if there isn’t a Boss Appreciation Day, there should be one.
He’s a lovely person, and if there isn’t a Boss Appreciation Day, there should be one.
Whenever my brother Jesse and I are stuck in an airport on a layover, or waiting for a delayed flight, we like to use the courtesy phones to have them page celebrity names over the intercom.
"J Aniston, please meet your party at baggage claim. J Aniston, your party is waiting at baggage claim."
"Mr Federline, you have a call from your wife holding at the information desk."
"Miss Garner and Mr. Affleck, your driver will meet you curbside."
"J Aniston, please meet your party at baggage claim. J Aniston, your party is waiting at baggage claim."
"Mr Federline, you have a call from your wife holding at the information desk."
"Miss Garner and Mr. Affleck, your driver will meet you curbside."
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I SWEAR I looked presentable when I left this morning.
But the zipper on my pants won't stay up for more than five minutes, the collar of my sweater caught on the seat belt buckle and is unraveling at a rate that makes me think it'll be a tube top by noon, and worst of all, the underwire in my bra has broken free and is stabbing me in the chest.
Somewhere, I suspect,is someone with a doll that resembles me, and instead of sticking pins in it, he/she is snipping at the clothes.
There is no other rational explanation.
But the zipper on my pants won't stay up for more than five minutes, the collar of my sweater caught on the seat belt buckle and is unraveling at a rate that makes me think it'll be a tube top by noon, and worst of all, the underwire in my bra has broken free and is stabbing me in the chest.
Somewhere, I suspect,is someone with a doll that resembles me, and instead of sticking pins in it, he/she is snipping at the clothes.
There is no other rational explanation.
*She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco hits Artist Boy*
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "[She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco]! What did I tell you about hitting!"
*She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco hangs her head*
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "I've told you, tuck your thumbs and put your shoulder behind it!"
She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco - "I know, you're right."
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "[She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco]! What did I tell you about hitting!"
*She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco hangs her head*
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "I've told you, tuck your thumbs and put your shoulder behind it!"
She Who's Name Rhymes with Shmoco - "I know, you're right."
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
...... he was walking out of a book store, on a rainy sunday afternoon.
I thought about calling out to him, to say I heard he got married and to say congradulations. I thought about looking him in the eye and saying "Goodbye."
But as he walked out of sight, I realized I'd already said it in my heart. And I walked on.
I thought about calling out to him, to say I heard he got married and to say congradulations. I thought about looking him in the eye and saying "Goodbye."
But as he walked out of sight, I realized I'd already said it in my heart. And I walked on.
I spent the better part of my hour long commute with a little red Mazda convertible in front of me, and a little red Mazda convertible behind me. Both driven by middle-aged balding men wearing gold necklaces, both smoking. It was like I'd inadvertantly wandered into the Mid-Life Crisis Parade, or had signed up for a "Overcompensating Motorcade Escort".
So the main lobby door is the only door to building that remains unlocked during the day. I unlock it when I come in the morning. But I have to enter the side door, using my key card. All the other doors only open to employees, who have key cards. If you are a temp, or forgot your key card, you use the call boxes. You press a button, and it rings several extentions (mine included) and you say your name or employee number, and are let in.
Now, I've always suspected that some of the other people that get rung by the call boxes weren't being particularly careful about who they let in.
For the past two days, they've been working on the whole door system, and no-one's key cards work. Meaning you have to use the front door, or the call boxes on the other doors. I have to use the call box to get in in the morning. I decided to test my theory yesterday morning.
*VJpushes call button*
"Who's there?"
"Grim Reaper."
*beep-door opens*
I tried a few more, at random on my breaks.
Osama Bin Laden (I actually heard her say, "Must be a temp")
Elvis Presley
Jonathon Clive Bradshaw (So, Jonny, if you wanna come visit me at work, they'll let you in.)
However, barking will NOT get you in. So the rule seems to be, you only need to be HUMAN to get in the side and back doors.
Now, I've always suspected that some of the other people that get rung by the call boxes weren't being particularly careful about who they let in.
For the past two days, they've been working on the whole door system, and no-one's key cards work. Meaning you have to use the front door, or the call boxes on the other doors. I have to use the call box to get in in the morning. I decided to test my theory yesterday morning.
*VJpushes call button*
"Who's there?"
"Grim Reaper."
*beep-door opens*
I tried a few more, at random on my breaks.
Osama Bin Laden (I actually heard her say, "Must be a temp")
Elvis Presley
Jonathon Clive Bradshaw (So, Jonny, if you wanna come visit me at work, they'll let you in.)
However, barking will NOT get you in. So the rule seems to be, you only need to be HUMAN to get in the side and back doors.
........ I saw a man on a bicycle, riding down the center median of the freeway, the wrong way. I'm left with the guestion, why? And more to the point, HOW do you get you and your bike on the center median? Even more importantly, can I come next time?
Monday, April 18, 2005
So my Gramie calls me yesterday, while Coco and I were filling water ballons with jello mix (I'm such a good influence on her) and my Gramie points out that jam would be messier and stickier.
I bought a dinning room table and chairs from a co-worker, so Friday night I got them home, and I'm SO happy with them. Fifty bucks got me a perfect sized table that looks great. I feel like an adult now. I can have dinner parties now, that don't involve eating off a plate balanced on your knees. That's a nice feeling.
Sat I was waiting around for the guy from Craigslist to bring my chair. I'm going to skip the story, and jump right ahead to the moral.
I fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is Never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well know is this -
Never buy furniture from a man who's voicemail says "You're reached Martin, and booking for [band name]."
So it was an adventure, but I have no new chair. Oh well.
JR and I went for a bike ride to my new favorite coffee house, where you can actually order and PB&J sandwich. And if you ask the nice guy behind the counter to surprise you with some sort of drink, he WILL. I love people like that. It sucks when you say, "Surprise me. Give me whatever YOU drink." and they stammer and say, "Well, uh, do you like pineapple?" That totally ruins it. So now I say, "Surprise me. I'm not allergic to anything except brocoli, and the only things I don't eat are pork and shellfish, and if you have a smoothie involving any of those things, we have bigger issues to discuss."
Then that night, Dev and Dufel were on their way over, and JR had just left when I found a lost parakeet with clipped wings in the gutter. I had to crawl under a car, through a puddle to get her, but she was so scared and lost, poor thing. I bought a really cute little cage and everything, and since no one has claimed her, I'm going to keep her. I named her Eden Clarita Quested. She's the most colorful parakeet I've ever seen. Dev, Dufel, JR (who came back over to find that I had ANOTHER pet and said "Dude! I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?!") Eden and I sat down to watch Legends of the Fall. Dev and I had never seen it before, and by halfway through, we're looking at each other going, "Everyone is dying. I want to root for someone to live happily ever after, but who is left? The grizzly?"
Dev stayed over, which was fun. I miss late night chats with my old roomie.
Coco, you and the band ROCKED 'My Father's House' at church on sunday.
Then after church Coco, JR and I settled in at my new dinning room table with Rubios fish tacos to prep Coco for her algebra test. I think her notes are going to smell like lime and fish, but oh well. Then we went to Starbucks, where the nice man behind the counter let Coco dance the calypso on a table, and gave us number stickers. I was '63', Coco was '36'. We very much [heart] that nice starbucks man.
We also very much [heart] the middle aged man in the sedan next to us at a red light that appreciated and applauded our redition of Gloria Estevan's "Heaven's What I Feel", which we sang very, VERY loudly to him.
Sadly, I had to give Coco back to her family. *sigh*
Then JR and hung out and snuggled.
Then grocery shopping. Then bed.
Sat I was waiting around for the guy from Craigslist to bring my chair. I'm going to skip the story, and jump right ahead to the moral.
I fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is Never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well know is this -
Never buy furniture from a man who's voicemail says "You're reached Martin, and booking for [band name]."
So it was an adventure, but I have no new chair. Oh well.
JR and I went for a bike ride to my new favorite coffee house, where you can actually order and PB&J sandwich. And if you ask the nice guy behind the counter to surprise you with some sort of drink, he WILL. I love people like that. It sucks when you say, "Surprise me. Give me whatever YOU drink." and they stammer and say, "Well, uh, do you like pineapple?" That totally ruins it. So now I say, "Surprise me. I'm not allergic to anything except brocoli, and the only things I don't eat are pork and shellfish, and if you have a smoothie involving any of those things, we have bigger issues to discuss."
Then that night, Dev and Dufel were on their way over, and JR had just left when I found a lost parakeet with clipped wings in the gutter. I had to crawl under a car, through a puddle to get her, but she was so scared and lost, poor thing. I bought a really cute little cage and everything, and since no one has claimed her, I'm going to keep her. I named her Eden Clarita Quested. She's the most colorful parakeet I've ever seen. Dev, Dufel, JR (who came back over to find that I had ANOTHER pet and said "Dude! I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?!") Eden and I sat down to watch Legends of the Fall. Dev and I had never seen it before, and by halfway through, we're looking at each other going, "Everyone is dying. I want to root for someone to live happily ever after, but who is left? The grizzly?"
Dev stayed over, which was fun. I miss late night chats with my old roomie.
Coco, you and the band ROCKED 'My Father's House' at church on sunday.
Then after church Coco, JR and I settled in at my new dinning room table with Rubios fish tacos to prep Coco for her algebra test. I think her notes are going to smell like lime and fish, but oh well. Then we went to Starbucks, where the nice man behind the counter let Coco dance the calypso on a table, and gave us number stickers. I was '63', Coco was '36'. We very much [heart] that nice starbucks man.
We also very much [heart] the middle aged man in the sedan next to us at a red light that appreciated and applauded our redition of Gloria Estevan's "Heaven's What I Feel", which we sang very, VERY loudly to him.
Sadly, I had to give Coco back to her family. *sigh*
Then JR and hung out and snuggled.
Then grocery shopping. Then bed.
Youth Leader (not me) - "So you go and you buy a faster, newer, better dryer, because the old one doesn't comfort you anymore."
Be sure not to fall asleep without brushing your teeth on the night you ate fish for dinner. Can we say morning breath?
Algebra Tutor - "So then you subtract 3x from both sides, and you come up with 30=2. Wait. That can't be right."
Algebra Student - "Ya think?"
Algebra Student - "Ya think?"
....... a homeless man, slumped over, pushing a shopping cart full of his belongings. As I drove by, he came up to a house with two flags flying, an American flag, and a Prisoners of War flag. He pulled himself up in a rigid, prideful stance that could only have come from years in the military. His age suggested Vietnam veteran. He saluted with such pride, and a tear rolled down his cheek.
I cried too.
I cried too.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
I'm not even sure how this happened really. I saw an add on Craig's List.
"I love this chair it rocks. I just moved into a tiny apt so I cannot keep it. This chair has artsy patterns and different colors. It is very comfy. It's worth more but I'll take $10.00 to give it a good home. Thanks for looking. Martin"
I sent him an email, asking if I could come by tomorrow. He called my cell, and tried to give me directions to his place and I asked if it would fit in my ford focus, and so he offered to deliver it to me for an extra $5. I agreed, and he said he'd be by tomorrow morning. Somewhere along the line, I guess I agreed to buy it.
So I have no idea what it looks like, other than what the add says.
I choose to think of this as an adventure.
"I love this chair it rocks. I just moved into a tiny apt so I cannot keep it. This chair has artsy patterns and different colors. It is very comfy. It's worth more but I'll take $10.00 to give it a good home. Thanks for looking. Martin"
I sent him an email, asking if I could come by tomorrow. He called my cell, and tried to give me directions to his place and I asked if it would fit in my ford focus, and so he offered to deliver it to me for an extra $5. I agreed, and he said he'd be by tomorrow morning. Somewhere along the line, I guess I agreed to buy it.
So I have no idea what it looks like, other than what the add says.
I choose to think of this as an adventure.
Friday, April 15, 2005
As you may have read, this comment was left on my blog by 'Gary'. (Gary, we'd like to get to know you. Do you have a blog? Can we see it?)
"I like your blog. You have an interesting outlook on events. As i was reading i see you have a guy in your life. My problem is that i can't for the life of me figure out which of these guys is the lucky one? Or is that the point?"
My first instinct is to say, "All of them, darling. Please don't blow my cover." but it's probably jokes like that that led to confusion in the first place.
So I would like to take the chance to say that THIS man has the difficult job of dating me. That's the man I kiss every day, as often as possible. That's the man that holds my hand and wipes my tears and shares my adventures.
THAT man loves me. I'm so proud. Please, Gary, tell the world!
"I like your blog. You have an interesting outlook on events. As i was reading i see you have a guy in your life. My problem is that i can't for the life of me figure out which of these guys is the lucky one? Or is that the point?"
My first instinct is to say, "All of them, darling. Please don't blow my cover." but it's probably jokes like that that led to confusion in the first place.
So I would like to take the chance to say that THIS man has the difficult job of dating me. That's the man I kiss every day, as often as possible. That's the man that holds my hand and wipes my tears and shares my adventures.
THAT man loves me. I'm so proud. Please, Gary, tell the world!
Here are a few examples.
Once, my friend Lissy and I were in Denny's at about 3AM, sobering up before we went home after a night on the town. (Kidlets, usual disclaimer, drunk = bad = hangover + puking, learn from my mistakes, etc.) (And seriously, isn't that really all Denny's is good for? Sobering up on country-fried potatos and coffee?) So Lissy and I are sitting there in a booth, which happens to be next to booth full of about 8 or 9 guys that appeared to be there for the same reason. We were blatantly eavesdropping, and eventually we joined the conversation and then joined them at the booth. One of the guys kinda caught my eye, he was rather witty. Another of the guys, named (not kidding) Kip, mentioned that he worked at a movie theater and sometimes he got the whole gang into movies for free. The other guy (the one I kinda liked) asked if I wanted to join them the next time they went to a movie and I gave him my number. I'm not sure what happened to that slip of paper, because.......
Bright and early the next morning, Kip, not the guy I liked, called me and asked if I wanted to see The Patriot. I was assuming this was the group thing they mentioned, so I said, "Yes, I'd love too."
"Good," Kip replied, "Because I'm looking forward to spending the day with you."
I thought that was a bit weird, so I brought two of my own friends, Lissy and her boyfriend Jonny. I got to the theater and found Kip. Alone.
"Crap," I thought. "Somehow, I'm on a date, and I didn't know it until now."
It got worse. After Kip began introducing me to other employees as 'the girl he's dating', Jonny pulled him aside and said, "No, dude."
Kip said, "But I -"
Jonny said, "No."
Kip said, "But she-"
Jonny, "Just no, dude."
About a year and a half later, I started a new job and found that Kip was my supervisor. I didn't work there long.
When I first moved to New Mexico, to make new friends I would sit in the diner across from the college and strike up conversations with who ever struck my fancy. One night I met a fun group and we were laughing and having a good time when some other random dude walked up to me and asked if I had the time. I told him, noting that he seemed to have had a quite a few beers. He apparently took my response as an invitation to sit.
"Woah, what are ya doing, dude?" I said.
"Just wanna get to know you better."
"No thanks dude."
"Why, is this a closed party? Lighten up, sweetie. What's are we drinking to tonight?"
"First of all, you're the one drinking, not us." Think fast, VJ, I told myself. "We're celebrating my sucessful surgery."
"You look ok to me, you sick? In fact you look REALLY good, doll."
"It's not that type of surgery."
One of my new friends, bless his heart, saw where I was going and jumped in. "Yeah, Stev-I mean Stephanie. Here's to your new life."
"So what kinda surgery was it, babydoll?"
"I used to be a man." That'll do it, I thought.
"Wow." He tried to grab my chin to get a better look at my face but I elbowed him off. "They did are really good job."
Finally we had to call the police to get this guy away from me. It was either that or rough him up myself, but I don't hit drunks or women.
Once, my friend Lissy and I were in Denny's at about 3AM, sobering up before we went home after a night on the town. (Kidlets, usual disclaimer, drunk = bad = hangover + puking, learn from my mistakes, etc.) (And seriously, isn't that really all Denny's is good for? Sobering up on country-fried potatos and coffee?) So Lissy and I are sitting there in a booth, which happens to be next to booth full of about 8 or 9 guys that appeared to be there for the same reason. We were blatantly eavesdropping, and eventually we joined the conversation and then joined them at the booth. One of the guys kinda caught my eye, he was rather witty. Another of the guys, named (not kidding) Kip, mentioned that he worked at a movie theater and sometimes he got the whole gang into movies for free. The other guy (the one I kinda liked) asked if I wanted to join them the next time they went to a movie and I gave him my number. I'm not sure what happened to that slip of paper, because.......
Bright and early the next morning, Kip, not the guy I liked, called me and asked if I wanted to see The Patriot. I was assuming this was the group thing they mentioned, so I said, "Yes, I'd love too."
"Good," Kip replied, "Because I'm looking forward to spending the day with you."
I thought that was a bit weird, so I brought two of my own friends, Lissy and her boyfriend Jonny. I got to the theater and found Kip. Alone.
"Crap," I thought. "Somehow, I'm on a date, and I didn't know it until now."
It got worse. After Kip began introducing me to other employees as 'the girl he's dating', Jonny pulled him aside and said, "No, dude."
Kip said, "But I -"
Jonny said, "No."
Kip said, "But she-"
Jonny, "Just no, dude."
About a year and a half later, I started a new job and found that Kip was my supervisor. I didn't work there long.
When I first moved to New Mexico, to make new friends I would sit in the diner across from the college and strike up conversations with who ever struck my fancy. One night I met a fun group and we were laughing and having a good time when some other random dude walked up to me and asked if I had the time. I told him, noting that he seemed to have had a quite a few beers. He apparently took my response as an invitation to sit.
"Woah, what are ya doing, dude?" I said.
"Just wanna get to know you better."
"No thanks dude."
"Why, is this a closed party? Lighten up, sweetie. What's are we drinking to tonight?"
"First of all, you're the one drinking, not us." Think fast, VJ, I told myself. "We're celebrating my sucessful surgery."
"You look ok to me, you sick? In fact you look REALLY good, doll."
"It's not that type of surgery."
One of my new friends, bless his heart, saw where I was going and jumped in. "Yeah, Stev-I mean Stephanie. Here's to your new life."
"So what kinda surgery was it, babydoll?"
"I used to be a man." That'll do it, I thought.
"Wow." He tried to grab my chin to get a better look at my face but I elbowed him off. "They did are really good job."
Finally we had to call the police to get this guy away from me. It was either that or rough him up myself, but I don't hit drunks or women.
*cringes and waits for reaction*
I know. But nothing you say will make me stop feeling like I can fly when I hear 'Mandy'. Or stop me from singing along to 'Copacabana'. It's one of those things you'll just have to accept if you wanna be my friend.
Dedicated to my blog friends -
It's a miracle
A true-blue spectacle
A miracle come true
We're together baby
I was goin' crazy
'Till the miracle came true
Now you're here
And I'm feelin' so good
And baby, the'll be
Dancin' in the street!
For the miracle
The true-blue spectacle
The miracle is you!
I know. But nothing you say will make me stop feeling like I can fly when I hear 'Mandy'. Or stop me from singing along to 'Copacabana'. It's one of those things you'll just have to accept if you wanna be my friend.
Dedicated to my blog friends -
It's a miracle
A true-blue spectacle
A miracle come true
We're together baby
I was goin' crazy
'Till the miracle came true
Now you're here
And I'm feelin' so good
And baby, the'll be
Dancin' in the street!
For the miracle
The true-blue spectacle
The miracle is you!
Isho, were you calling me Donnie earlier today? I like that.
So my computer is having some issues with MSN and blogger. The two programs that I NEED like crack. I'm emailing my posts to the lovely and longsuffering 'Rez. But for some reason my computer isn't letting me leave comments on some of your blogs. So just know, I am reading y'all, I just can't tell y'all so.
MSN issue with my computer remains a mystery. I can recieve messages, but half the time it won't let me send anything back. So if I suddenly stop answering, check my MSN name, I usually change it to something to let you know that I'm still there, but muzzled. Or I'll nudge. I love the nudge button.
So all this to say, if I don't respond or comment and you start to think I hate you, just blame my computer. So here are some of the comments I would have left to you. The orginal context is now gone, but maybe it's funnier that way.
"'Rez, the hose thing sounds like great fun."
"Svenny, dear, for all our sakes, EMBRACE your inner swede. Tristan, honey, you too. *wink*"
"Petey, thanks for encouraging people to be nice to receptionists. *kiss on the forehead*"
"Sara, thanks for being my 10,000th visitor. I'm so glad there is proof that it wasn't me, trying to make myself look more popular. Oh, and ask 'Rez about the canadian money."
"Oh, and Nick-baby, any man that takes a college level dance appreciation course is all right in my book."
"Yes, BAD Matthew. Having a blog (and the attendant fan base) is like having a dog. You can't pick us up and drop us whenever you feel like it. We need regular attention or else we pee on your floors. We demand that you re-shape your lives around us."
"Dear Kieran, I snort when I laugh. Do I deserve to live?"
"*taps mike* Is this thing on? Yes? Ok then, JONNY, COME BACK!!!!!"
"Yay, JMsy, go God!"
"Jesster, I would so travel with you."
"Zoe, I've changed my mind. If I fly out to DC, I wanna do more than just hug you. I wanna take a walk with you, and peoplewatch."
"Dufel, I'm really trying not to be happy that your move was postponed. But honestly, I'm thrilled."
"I love it when my hands smell like oranges. Have a grapefruit tomorrow. It's even better."
"Yes, Isho, didn't you hear? "God" is now available in pill form. Side effects may include INSANITY and SUPERIORITY COMPLEX. In related news, God releases a statement to the press, denying any involvement with makers of such idiocy, and vowing to pursue legal action."
"DUDE, BakeTown! I wanna go the freak fest!"
"Lou, I love that story. It makes me happy."
"Ross, I know just how you feel."
"Coco, enjoy the dance."
So my computer is having some issues with MSN and blogger. The two programs that I NEED like crack. I'm emailing my posts to the lovely and longsuffering 'Rez. But for some reason my computer isn't letting me leave comments on some of your blogs. So just know, I am reading y'all, I just can't tell y'all so.
MSN issue with my computer remains a mystery. I can recieve messages, but half the time it won't let me send anything back. So if I suddenly stop answering, check my MSN name, I usually change it to something to let you know that I'm still there, but muzzled. Or I'll nudge. I love the nudge button.
So all this to say, if I don't respond or comment and you start to think I hate you, just blame my computer. So here are some of the comments I would have left to you. The orginal context is now gone, but maybe it's funnier that way.
"'Rez, the hose thing sounds like great fun."
"Svenny, dear, for all our sakes, EMBRACE your inner swede. Tristan, honey, you too. *wink*"
"Petey, thanks for encouraging people to be nice to receptionists. *kiss on the forehead*"
"Sara, thanks for being my 10,000th visitor. I'm so glad there is proof that it wasn't me, trying to make myself look more popular. Oh, and ask 'Rez about the canadian money."
"Oh, and Nick-baby, any man that takes a college level dance appreciation course is all right in my book."
"Yes, BAD Matthew. Having a blog (and the attendant fan base) is like having a dog. You can't pick us up and drop us whenever you feel like it. We need regular attention or else we pee on your floors. We demand that you re-shape your lives around us."
"Dear Kieran, I snort when I laugh. Do I deserve to live?"
"*taps mike* Is this thing on? Yes? Ok then, JONNY, COME BACK!!!!!"
"Yay, JMsy, go God!"
"Jesster, I would so travel with you."
"Zoe, I've changed my mind. If I fly out to DC, I wanna do more than just hug you. I wanna take a walk with you, and peoplewatch."
"Dufel, I'm really trying not to be happy that your move was postponed. But honestly, I'm thrilled."
"I love it when my hands smell like oranges. Have a grapefruit tomorrow. It's even better."
"Yes, Isho, didn't you hear? "God" is now available in pill form. Side effects may include INSANITY and SUPERIORITY COMPLEX. In related news, God releases a statement to the press, denying any involvement with makers of such idiocy, and vowing to pursue legal action."
"DUDE, BakeTown! I wanna go the freak fest!"
"Lou, I love that story. It makes me happy."
"Ross, I know just how you feel."
"Coco, enjoy the dance."
........ I went a little crazy with the postings. I think I had like 14 posts by noon.
[Rez here, just to say --- yes, she did. I would know. She's been posting by proxy, and I'm the proxy at the moment.]
At which point 'Rez staged an intervention, and I managed to restrain myself for the rest of the day from posting EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT THAT ENTERED MY BRAIN.
I attribute my behavior to my discovery of the the wonder and magic of the miniature Baby Ruth bar.
[Rez here, just to say --- yes, she did. I would know. She's been posting by proxy, and I'm the proxy at the moment.]
At which point 'Rez staged an intervention, and I managed to restrain myself for the rest of the day from posting EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT THAT ENTERED MY BRAIN.
I attribute my behavior to my discovery of the the wonder and magic of the miniature Baby Ruth bar.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Return
by Jesse Might-Not-Want-His-Last-Name-Splashed-Across-The-Internet-But-You-Could-Probably-Figure-It-Out-If-You-Know-Me-But-If-You-Know-Me-Then-Its-Probably-Ok-For-You-To-Know-It.
What is it about the human soul that longs for the past
That wishes for things and days gone by
Who yearns to return to the last
And searches for the same hue in the sky
If we say life is about moving on
Then why are we back where we started
Waiting for things that are gone
And looking for those who have departed
But return I have and so I will
And continue to seek in body and mind
Is the truth of the past the truth still?
Is reunion the consolation I hope to find?
Time is now long though I wish it were not
So I will continue urgently, earnestly, because I have to
Probing the space and searching for the spot
Believing returning will make me feel new
by Jesse Might-Not-Want-His-Last-Name-Splashed-Across-The-Internet-But-You-Could-Probably-Figure-It-Out-If-You-Know-Me-But-If-You-Know-Me-Then-Its-Probably-Ok-For-You-To-Know-It.
What is it about the human soul that longs for the past
That wishes for things and days gone by
Who yearns to return to the last
And searches for the same hue in the sky
If we say life is about moving on
Then why are we back where we started
Waiting for things that are gone
And looking for those who have departed
But return I have and so I will
And continue to seek in body and mind
Is the truth of the past the truth still?
Is reunion the consolation I hope to find?
Time is now long though I wish it were not
So I will continue urgently, earnestly, because I have to
Probing the space and searching for the spot
Believing returning will make me feel new
His owner has been found. She was searching desparetly.
Incidently, his name is Jehovah. This got me thinking.
Someday I will adopt a litter of kittens and name them each after a different god or religous figure. Think of the funny things you would find yourself saying.
"Dude! Ghandhi just crapped on my rug!"
"The Pope and Buddha are wresting again."
"Jehovah is purring."
"Mohammad is licking his butt."
Incidently, his name is Jehovah. This got me thinking.
Someday I will adopt a litter of kittens and name them each after a different god or religous figure. Think of the funny things you would find yourself saying.
"Dude! Ghandhi just crapped on my rug!"
"The Pope and Buddha are wresting again."
"Jehovah is purring."
"Mohammad is licking his butt."
This is probably true. See the picture? I actually do the whole matador/bull thing. A lot.
Your Inner European is Spanish! |
 Energetic and lively. You bring the party with you! |
Depressed Engineer (walks up to my desk) - "This is as good as it gets."
Content Receptionist (smiles) - "That fine by me."
Content Receptionist (smiles) - "That fine by me."
want my own pet hippo now. Now that I know it's possible.
"An admirerer. I shall refer to him as 001101101. He called me over 20 times yesterday. Sadly, I do not speak fax."
Col, you had me chuckling all day over that.
Col, you had me chuckling all day over that.
This morning I was thumbing through the Red Envelope Mother's Day catalog, and it occured to me that I should have children. And give them big allowances.
Yesterday my hit counter registered that I've gotten 10,000 hits since Jan.
And I bet less than half of them are me, checking how many hits I have.
And I bet less than half of them are me, checking how many hits I have.
Coco, what can I say besides, "Your mix CD makes me HAPPY. It makes me want to jump around and giggle."
........."Dang it, where is my boyfriend/carpool?", forgetting I drove myself, and sitting impatiently in the lobby.
So I work for a company that manufactures high density computer servers. They are sometimes refered to as 'racks'.
Ma' Homie in Marketing had shirts made that said "Nice Rack" across the chest. We all like them and think they are funny. It gets a reaction.
Right, so anyway. Recently he gave me one of the new company t-shirts, and I noted, "Well, no quasi-inapporpriate joke on this one."
But yesterday I noticed something. The shirt says on the front REAL Performance. But the word performance is very small. And the word REAL is very big. And positioned right across my chest. I asume you can picture this in your head, and see where I'm going with this.
I have no doubt that Ma' Homie in Marketing did it on purpose.
Ma' Homie in Marketing had shirts made that said "Nice Rack" across the chest. We all like them and think they are funny. It gets a reaction.
Right, so anyway. Recently he gave me one of the new company t-shirts, and I noted, "Well, no quasi-inapporpriate joke on this one."
But yesterday I noticed something. The shirt says on the front REAL Performance. But the word performance is very small. And the word REAL is very big. And positioned right across my chest. I asume you can picture this in your head, and see where I'm going with this.
I have no doubt that Ma' Homie in Marketing did it on purpose.
*sigh* The End Times are upon us. The whore of Bablylon, aka Britney Spears, is giving birth to the child of the anit-christ, aka Kevin Federline.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse should be riding in any minute now.
And as I understand the prophecies, the Four Horsemen are Nick Carter, Aaron Carter, Dan Rather and my ex boyfriend.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse should be riding in any minute now.
And as I understand the prophecies, the Four Horsemen are Nick Carter, Aaron Carter, Dan Rather and my ex boyfriend.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
tell me what your new display name means.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
'Mookie is a friend in the UK. He helped me with some blog stuff. I said he was my 'blog angel'. We shortened that to 'blangel.' You'd think it would be more interesting story, but sadly, no.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
yeah. That's terrible.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
I should have made something up. Can I start over?
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
"Once upon a time........
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
....... there was a walrus named 'Mookie.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
hahah, I just laughed out loud in the meeting
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
everyone stopped talking and looked at me.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
That makes me very happy.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
"So 'Mookie the Walrus lived on in iceberg in Norway. It was a nice iceberg, with shag carpets and posters of Anna Nicole, before she lost all the weight."
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then one day, 'Mookie meet a nice girl walrus named Titania. (We'll call her 'Tit' for short.) She made 'Mookie take down the Anna Nicole posters, but 'Mookie didn't mind because Tit was prettier than Anna Nicole anyway.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Little Cody interjects (a la The Princess Bride) - "Is this a kissing book?"
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
(grandfatherly tone) - "Someday you might not mind so much."
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then one day 'Mookie was innocently sitting on an ice shelf, and a large icicle fell and was lodged in his brain. He survived, but Dr. Walrus didn't want to remove the icicle because he wasn't such a good surgeon anymore, ever since his wife left him for a sea otter.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
So poor 'Mookie lived the rest of his life with an icicle sticking out of his head. It wasn't so bad, really. The brain damage caused him to bark whenever she saw a fish, but Tit took good care of him, and all was well. Of course they could no longer to Jamaica on vacation, for fear the icicle would melt and 'Mookie's brains would spill out.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
That's amazing. Seriously. I'm so UN creative it's amazing.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then, at the ripe old age of whatever is old to a walrus (haven't a clue and I'm too lazy to google that info, and incidently, what did we do before google? Really? Sometimes I think God created light, and then google. And it was good. Amen.) and Tit had him frozen in a block of ice and floated out to see, as is traditional for walruses (my lack of research on this story is growing apallingly obvious.)
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then one day, Tit was walking home from her bingo game, when she heard a faint sound of barking, coming from the sky. She looked up and saw, floating on sagging cloud (because walruses are heavy, even when they're angel-walruses, I got that FACT off the internet, so you can't dispute that) and 'Mookie barked down at the love of his walrus-life, and Tit was happy and told all her friends what she'd seen.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
That 'Mookie, the barking walrus, was now a barking angel. A ......... *drumroll* .......... 'Blangel'.
The End
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
*takes bow*
tell me what your new display name means.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
'Mookie is a friend in the UK. He helped me with some blog stuff. I said he was my 'blog angel'. We shortened that to 'blangel.' You'd think it would be more interesting story, but sadly, no.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
yeah. That's terrible.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
I should have made something up. Can I start over?
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
"Once upon a time........
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
....... there was a walrus named 'Mookie.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
hahah, I just laughed out loud in the meeting
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
everyone stopped talking and looked at me.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
That makes me very happy.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
"So 'Mookie the Walrus lived on in iceberg in Norway. It was a nice iceberg, with shag carpets and posters of Anna Nicole, before she lost all the weight."
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then one day, 'Mookie meet a nice girl walrus named Titania. (We'll call her 'Tit' for short.) She made 'Mookie take down the Anna Nicole posters, but 'Mookie didn't mind because Tit was prettier than Anna Nicole anyway.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Little Cody interjects (a la The Princess Bride) - "Is this a kissing book?"
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
(grandfatherly tone) - "Someday you might not mind so much."
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then one day 'Mookie was innocently sitting on an ice shelf, and a large icicle fell and was lodged in his brain. He survived, but Dr. Walrus didn't want to remove the icicle because he wasn't such a good surgeon anymore, ever since his wife left him for a sea otter.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
So poor 'Mookie lived the rest of his life with an icicle sticking out of his head. It wasn't so bad, really. The brain damage caused him to bark whenever she saw a fish, but Tit took good care of him, and all was well. Of course they could no longer to Jamaica on vacation, for fear the icicle would melt and 'Mookie's brains would spill out.
Bored Sales Guy Stuck in Meeting says:
That's amazing. Seriously. I'm so UN creative it's amazing.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then, at the ripe old age of whatever is old to a walrus (haven't a clue and I'm too lazy to google that info, and incidently, what did we do before google? Really? Sometimes I think God created light, and then google. And it was good. Amen.) and Tit had him frozen in a block of ice and floated out to see, as is traditional for walruses (my lack of research on this story is growing apallingly obvious.)
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
Then one day, Tit was walking home from her bingo game, when she heard a faint sound of barking, coming from the sky. She looked up and saw, floating on sagging cloud (because walruses are heavy, even when they're angel-walruses, I got that FACT off the internet, so you can't dispute that) and 'Mookie barked down at the love of his walrus-life, and Tit was happy and told all her friends what she'd seen.
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
That 'Mookie, the barking walrus, was now a barking angel. A ......... *drumroll* .......... 'Blangel'.
The End
'Mookie is a 'Blangel' says:
*takes bow*
Receptionist to Bored Sales Guy stuck in a meeting upstairs -
So every month, purchasing gets a 52 page full color catalog of .......... trash cans. That's it. Just trash cans. Every color and shape you can imagine. And a few you can't.
I was thumbing through it this morning as I sorted the mail. (Yeah, I read other peoples mail. So sue me. Oh, you mother says she loves you and sent $25. I spent it on two new cds. *sigh* I [heart] John Mayer.)
Anyway, I was thinking about the catalog, and how there must be a guy that puts it out everymonth. That's what he does with the ever dwindling days of his life. He worries about, works on, and puts out a catalog of trash cans. Does he go to the photo shoots? "Can we change the lighting angle? This one is looking a little shiny, make-up, could you touch that up? Thanks?" Does he talk shop at night when he's lying in bed with his wife? "So we've got the new line of wide bins coming out next month, we're very excited. If all goes as planned, Pookie, we could take that cruise you've been wanting."
But you KNOW he lies at dinner parties.
"Hm, you must try the french onion dip. So, Larry, tell me, what do you do?"
"Well Marge, I'm a ......... Cowboy. Yeah. A Cowboy."
So every month, purchasing gets a 52 page full color catalog of .......... trash cans. That's it. Just trash cans. Every color and shape you can imagine. And a few you can't.
I was thumbing through it this morning as I sorted the mail. (Yeah, I read other peoples mail. So sue me. Oh, you mother says she loves you and sent $25. I spent it on two new cds. *sigh* I [heart] John Mayer.)
Anyway, I was thinking about the catalog, and how there must be a guy that puts it out everymonth. That's what he does with the ever dwindling days of his life. He worries about, works on, and puts out a catalog of trash cans. Does he go to the photo shoots? "Can we change the lighting angle? This one is looking a little shiny, make-up, could you touch that up? Thanks?" Does he talk shop at night when he's lying in bed with his wife? "So we've got the new line of wide bins coming out next month, we're very excited. If all goes as planned, Pookie, we could take that cruise you've been wanting."
But you KNOW he lies at dinner parties.
"Hm, you must try the french onion dip. So, Larry, tell me, what do you do?"
"Well Marge, I'm a ......... Cowboy. Yeah. A Cowboy."
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
This morning, I walked out my door, with all my daily luggage, jacket, cd case, giant purse, lunch bag, etc, and almost stepped on a little black kitten on my doormat. He had been sniffing my door and looked up at me like, "I know you have cats, so it logically follows that you must have cat FOOD, lady."
He's about 8 months old, I'm guessing. Obviously someone's pet, he's wearing one of those harness collar that people use when they are trying to teach a cat to walk on a leash. He's friendly, his coat looks healthy. But his little white feet where dirty, his coat was a bit wet. He'd looked like he'd been lost for a few days.
I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't just throw him in the house with my cats. I don't know what he'd do to my apartment, I don't know if he'd get along with my cats. But I knew I couldn't just leave him outside all day. The feral cats in the area would beat him up, I'm sure. While pondering this, and getting him some food and water, I managed to lock myself out of my apartment. I had to go wake my apartment manager at 6:45 this morning. *note to self - order him some pizzas or something this weekend* Finally I got back inside and put the kidden in my bathroom with food, water and his own litterbox, so he'll be ok in there, and my kitties will leave him alone. I made some posters here at work, that I'll put up when I get home. I really can't keep him, (we're only allowed up to two cats at my apartment complex), so if I don't find his owners by this weekend, I'm taking him to a shelter (don't worry, it's a 'no-kill' shelter, and he'll go to a foster home or be adopted if no one claims him). I'm pretty sure if his owners took the time to leash train him, they'll take the time to find him, so I'm not too worried.
He's about 8 months old, I'm guessing. Obviously someone's pet, he's wearing one of those harness collar that people use when they are trying to teach a cat to walk on a leash. He's friendly, his coat looks healthy. But his little white feet where dirty, his coat was a bit wet. He'd looked like he'd been lost for a few days.
I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't just throw him in the house with my cats. I don't know what he'd do to my apartment, I don't know if he'd get along with my cats. But I knew I couldn't just leave him outside all day. The feral cats in the area would beat him up, I'm sure. While pondering this, and getting him some food and water, I managed to lock myself out of my apartment. I had to go wake my apartment manager at 6:45 this morning. *note to self - order him some pizzas or something this weekend* Finally I got back inside and put the kidden in my bathroom with food, water and his own litterbox, so he'll be ok in there, and my kitties will leave him alone. I made some posters here at work, that I'll put up when I get home. I really can't keep him, (we're only allowed up to two cats at my apartment complex), so if I don't find his owners by this weekend, I'm taking him to a shelter (don't worry, it's a 'no-kill' shelter, and he'll go to a foster home or be adopted if no one claims him). I'm pretty sure if his owners took the time to leash train him, they'll take the time to find him, so I'm not too worried.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
One of my lobby hermit crabs died today. Bradly "Blade" Whitman. I don't know why he died, it was so sudden. Yesterday, he was fine, bushwacking through his plant, climbing his bridge, eating, drinking........
Since I'm actually crying at my desk, and this is not the sort of scene I like causing in the lobby, to lighten the mood, I shall dedicate CSN&Y's 'Slowpoke' to Blade's memory.
"Slowpoke, I wanna run with you. Wear all your clothes and do what you do. Slowpoke, we've got some things to find. Though I was faster, I was always behind."
Since I'm actually crying at my desk, and this is not the sort of scene I like causing in the lobby, to lighten the mood, I shall dedicate CSN&Y's 'Slowpoke' to Blade's memory.
"Slowpoke, I wanna run with you. Wear all your clothes and do what you do. Slowpoke, we've got some things to find. Though I was faster, I was always behind."
Svelt Receptionist - "So, I lost three pounds this week."
Woman I Wish Was My Mother - "I found them. On my butt. Please be more careful about where you leave them lying around."
Woman I Wish Was My Mother - "I found them. On my butt. Please be more careful about where you leave them lying around."
Because one compliment a week is NEVER enough.
Col, I think you might actually be made of sugar. Or caramel.
Col, I think you might actually be made of sugar. Or caramel.
The BEST BAND EVER, in case you didn't know.
And if you want a hint about 'Rez and my novel, I'll send you the track "Faith in Me". Its my new favorite song.
"Have some faith in me, 'cause we really do know better, and we do belong together.
Have some faith in me, if the world would leave us to it, we might very well get through it."
And if you want a hint about 'Rez and my novel, I'll send you the track "Faith in Me". Its my new favorite song.
"Have some faith in me, 'cause we really do know better, and we do belong together.
Have some faith in me, if the world would leave us to it, we might very well get through it."
Neighbor/Receptionist - "Hello. Lovely night, huh? I love twilight. Say, we chat all the time, but I never asked your name."
Neighbor/Aging Hippie with Long Hair and Crazy Eyes - "Steve. *pause* Or the boogie man."
Neighbor/Receptionist - (smiles) "Do you have a preference?"
Neighbor/Aging Hippie with Long Hair and Crazy Eyes - (sadly) The boogie man. That's what they call me."
Neighbor/Receptionist - "You look like a 'Steve' to me."
Neighbor/Aging Hippie with Long Hair and Crazy Eyes - "Steve. *pause* Or the boogie man."
Neighbor/Receptionist - (smiles) "Do you have a preference?"
Neighbor/Aging Hippie with Long Hair and Crazy Eyes - (sadly) The boogie man. That's what they call me."
Neighbor/Receptionist - "You look like a 'Steve' to me."
There was a small 4.1 earthquake this morning at 4:05am. Nothing much, I just like telling non-locals 'cause it freaks you people out. *giggle* I heard this one coming because Dulce had woken me up by her little insistent 'mew's. She can sense the earthquakes coming, and usually lets me know about 5-10 minutes before they roll through. Not just cute, our Dulce-cat, but handy, also. Most earthquakes you can hear coming, it sounds like a wave rolling in, (which is because that's pretty much what the earth usually does.) Then when it hits the building you're in, it gets loud. That woke most of my neighbors, gave everyone a good shake, which wakes you better than coffee. A few of us popped out heads out to make sure the power lines were still up, say hi, and wander back to bed.
The cool thing about this one, that makes me mention it, is that unlike most of our earthquakes, this one wasn't a leftover aftershock from somewhere up by LA. The epicenter of this one was three miles outside of El Cajon. This one was OURS. I'm very proud of that.
The cool thing about this one, that makes me mention it, is that unlike most of our earthquakes, this one wasn't a leftover aftershock from somewhere up by LA. The epicenter of this one was three miles outside of El Cajon. This one was OURS. I'm very proud of that.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Friday night was mine and JR's 20 month anniversary. There has a movie and a couch and plenty of kissing.
Sat my lovely boyfriend took me to breakfast. Then we took his puppy Keno to Petco, and I bought two new goldfish, Wallis and Jochiam. They are so cute, and pictures are coming soon on the Postage Stamp blog. They're getting along great with Bianca and Luigi.
Then I went over to Bunny's and we talked about clothes and boys, and she gave me a big boquet of sweet peas from her garden. I took them home and set them next to the roses from JR and thought "I'm so rich in flowers." Then I realized, "No, I'm rich in PEOPLE."
Seven cds that I ordered came in on Sat. SEVEN. Count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. SEVEN. That's such a good feeling. ALL THAT MUSIC. *happy sigh*
Sunday at church was great, the worship band is really getting good. I [heart] my kidlets.
Then JR and I drove out to Julian (small town in the mountains, used to be a mining town, now they grow apples and make delish pies). It was such a lovely day for a drive in the country. I saw so many horses, I miss riding so much. I saw a house that was so charming, I just had to wink at it.
JR and I strolled around the town, and in a small secondhand store, I found a box of old photographs. One was of a HUGE log being pulled down the main street by a team of horses, and a funny little man in overalls with ears that stuck out was riding the log. It's such a darling picture, it's dated 1918. I bought it for 3 bucks and framed it and hung it up.
There were some actors doing a cowboy re-enactment for the tourists, it was cute.
Then as we were leaving, I saw a bigrig hauling a HUGE log down the main street, and it looked so much like my picture I wanted to jump up and ride it.
The tree was being hauled out because it was partially burned. There was a huge fire a year and a half ago, and the road we took home led through it. So much has grown back, but so many beautiful trees were reduced to just the dead, charred trunks that have to be cut down so they don't fall on the road. It's sad, it used to be this lovely, shaded drive though old scrub oaks. *sigh*
We saw a pair of black hawks, one flew right over the car. And at least a dozen red-tailed hawks. They're beautiful.
That night when we got home, JR helped me go on a cleaning spree, so my little Postage Stamp feels happy and clean again.
Sadly, my home computer died. *moment of silence for Kenny* Since I'm not bucks up at the moment, the Postage Stamp might remain offline for a few months. *tear*
But all in all, it was a lovely weekend. I even bought a new CD case, and anything that makes me more organinzed, makes me happy.
In high school, I was in Key Club. (It's a service and volunteer organization.) All the cool kids were in it, because one year they sent out an anouncement that no one had joined, so if no student joined, then they wouldn't have the club that year. My friend Dave saw an opportunity. He joined, made himself president, and appointed all his friends as officers. Who was going to object? Now as a Key Club officer, you were allowed to leave the school campus for 'meetings'. You were excused from classes for these 'meetings'. So basically, Dave got us all a way to got to long, leisurely lunchs at the mexican food place.
Then it came time for our Key Club camp. As about twenty of us piled out at a campground, there were enough parents around, dropping their kids off, that no one notice what Dave whispered to me, "Dude, [VJ], neither of our chaperones showed. I don't want to alarm the parents dropping their kids off, but we're on our own."
We looked at each other for a few minutes, then I muttered, "Sweet!"
Fortunately none of the parents noticed, and they all drove off and left us, a bunch of 14-17 year olds, alone with our tents and lanterns. We even had a pool. The campground management came around daily, and we claimed "our leader was on a hike" or "in the bathroom." Since this was VERY much against the campground rules, Key Club International rules, the school's rules, and even our parents rules, it's a wonder we pulled it off.
But dude, it was AWESOME.
I read a story once my Maya Angelou, it was the last story in one of her books, and my favorite story she ever wrote. She said after the birth of her first child, she was afraid to let him sleep in the bed with her for fear she'd hurt him in her sleep, but her mother insisted they'd be fine. One night her mother woke her up from a sound sleep and said, "Don't move, just look at yourself." Maya looked down and saw that as she rolled over in her sleep, she had placed her arm in such a way as to create a tent of covers, so her son wouldn't even have a blanket in his face. Her mother said, "When you love something, deep down to your core, you couldn't hurt it. Even when you're asleep."
........... if I'm the first person in my music club to order a 50Cent cd and a Barry Manilow cd in the same order. Probably.
When her friends said that joining the Jr High group worship band would be 'social suicide', Coco joined anyway, named the band 'Social Suicide' and rocked the house on Sunday.
......... I finally believed my brother that I would never be able to fly like a bird. He wasn't trying to kill a dream, he was worried I'd break my neck. I still have dreams that I'm flying. And I wake up the next morning feeling so refreshed.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Few things startle me more than clicking over to a blog and reading words like, "I'm starting over.......... with thanks to Valancy Jane, I've decided to change my life ............ her advice is good." It's like sitting down on a quiet evening to watch tv and seeing yourself win a golden globe. First you think, "I totally deserved to win." Second you think, "I didn't even know I was nominated."
Becky, you say "Where do I start?" A few things you should know.
Like everything in life, you get out of it what you put in. Invest in you own life. No one can live it for you. Surprise people, and they WILL surprise you.
Randomness and adventures come from paying attention to opportunities. See the quiet people no one notices. Pick up shiny things that you see on the sidewalk. Absolutely do things you are afraid to do. Don't wait for life to come to you, go out and meet it. Eat alone in resturants. Go to a park and feed ducks or pigeons. Find a kid and give him half and watch him feed the ducks or pigeons. Smile at old ladies. Listen to the conversation of the people eating at the table next to you in restuarants. Respond to them if you like. Take road trips. Take a blind man by the arm and while you are helping him cross a street, ask him how he navigates the city. It's not about not being lazy, (although turning off the tv is ALWAYS a good idea), it's about paying attention.
As for writing an interesting blog, don't approach it like a news editor. Approach it like a photographer. It's as much how you angle it, what you crop out, what you focus on, as it is what the picture is of. A perfect example of this - Lou was having work done on her back patio. That's the news bulletin. How did she blog about it? "When I came home from school there were a lot of shirtless men in my backyard. To be continued..........."
You excuses confuse me, really. You're telling me you that you're 17, blond, beautiful, live away from home and take public transit and you don't find adventure? Baby, there is no better recipe for adventure. Open your eyes. (And yes, I have JR and I'm very lucky. You'll find yours someday.)
There are risks to adventure, so stack the odds in your favor. Carry your passpourt and a clean pair of socks in your purse. Learn to throw a punch. Learn to bluff. Learn to smile sincerely. Always, ALWAYS trust your instincts. That way, when your feet are wet and you're standing stranded in a gas station in the middle of Wisconsin in a bunny costume, you'll have the confidence that you can handle the situation.
Need I say, Be Impulsive? I think you know that.
Learn to laugh when everything goes wrong. Because that makes the best story.
And when everything goes right, live in that moment. Breathe it in.
Finally, people are your biggest variable in life. Friendship is always the best adventure. When you go through your day, really SEE the people you pass. And someday, you find yourself on a street corner, and you will look over you shoulder and see a man that smells of pee. He will wink at you and recite poetry. And the your blog post will begin, "............ (That's for you to decide.)
Becky, you say "Where do I start?" A few things you should know.
Like everything in life, you get out of it what you put in. Invest in you own life. No one can live it for you. Surprise people, and they WILL surprise you.
Randomness and adventures come from paying attention to opportunities. See the quiet people no one notices. Pick up shiny things that you see on the sidewalk. Absolutely do things you are afraid to do. Don't wait for life to come to you, go out and meet it. Eat alone in resturants. Go to a park and feed ducks or pigeons. Find a kid and give him half and watch him feed the ducks or pigeons. Smile at old ladies. Listen to the conversation of the people eating at the table next to you in restuarants. Respond to them if you like. Take road trips. Take a blind man by the arm and while you are helping him cross a street, ask him how he navigates the city. It's not about not being lazy, (although turning off the tv is ALWAYS a good idea), it's about paying attention.
As for writing an interesting blog, don't approach it like a news editor. Approach it like a photographer. It's as much how you angle it, what you crop out, what you focus on, as it is what the picture is of. A perfect example of this - Lou was having work done on her back patio. That's the news bulletin. How did she blog about it? "When I came home from school there were a lot of shirtless men in my backyard. To be continued..........."
You excuses confuse me, really. You're telling me you that you're 17, blond, beautiful, live away from home and take public transit and you don't find adventure? Baby, there is no better recipe for adventure. Open your eyes. (And yes, I have JR and I'm very lucky. You'll find yours someday.)
There are risks to adventure, so stack the odds in your favor. Carry your passpourt and a clean pair of socks in your purse. Learn to throw a punch. Learn to bluff. Learn to smile sincerely. Always, ALWAYS trust your instincts. That way, when your feet are wet and you're standing stranded in a gas station in the middle of Wisconsin in a bunny costume, you'll have the confidence that you can handle the situation.
Need I say, Be Impulsive? I think you know that.
Learn to laugh when everything goes wrong. Because that makes the best story.
And when everything goes right, live in that moment. Breathe it in.
Finally, people are your biggest variable in life. Friendship is always the best adventure. When you go through your day, really SEE the people you pass. And someday, you find yourself on a street corner, and you will look over you shoulder and see a man that smells of pee. He will wink at you and recite poetry. And the your blog post will begin, "............ (That's for you to decide.)
Boyfriend - "Is the fish ready?"
Girlfriend *suddenly remembers that she was supposed to check the fish 8 minutes ago* "Uh, yeah, I'm guessing it's ready."
Girlfriend *suddenly remembers that she was supposed to check the fish 8 minutes ago* "Uh, yeah, I'm guessing it's ready."
....... taking some of rose petals from my flowers and leaving a trail of them from the front door of the lobby up to my desk. To creep out any visitors.
"Good morning, we're been expecting you."
"Uh, hi, I have an appointment wi-"
"We know why you're here. We've been watching you."
"Good morning, we're been expecting you."
"Uh, hi, I have an appointment wi-"
"We know why you're here. We've been watching you."
When you turn on the radio and playing is a GREAT song. The last couple notes of a great song that they never play enough.
Last night JR and I were cooking in the kitchen of my Postage Stamp apartment, bumping into each other because it's a small kitchen. JR came up behind me and gave me a neck rub while I grated cheese. I put the cheese down, and he just hugged me from behind. For a moments we just stood there, soaking in each others company.
I thought myself, "If this is my life, THIS, cooking dinner every night with THIS man, and all this love in the air, if this is the life I get, then I'm a very, VERY lucky girl."
I thought myself, "If this is my life, THIS, cooking dinner every night with THIS man, and all this love in the air, if this is the life I get, then I'm a very, VERY lucky girl."
Did you tell your mom I said hi?
Is she ignoring me?
Does she hate me?
Is it because I once killed a man?
Is it because I voted for Bush?
Is it because I chew with my mouth open?
Is it because I haven't paid my taxes since '91?
Is it because of the incident with the sheep? I didn't know they will walk up stairs but not down.
I didn't mean to back over that fire hydrant.
I was never in Milwakee and I never met a man by the name of Scorpian there. That's just a dirty rumor.
Is it because of the 8 times I've been knocked up and abandoned my babies at the fire station?
Is it because I only have one leg?
Is it because of the needle tracks on my arms?
Is this because of the lobotomy? That's wasn't my fault, they strapped me down.
Is this because I served eight years for armed robbery? It was only a 7-11. I just took the money and a slurpee.
Is it becaues I eat my boogers?
Is it because I peed in the city pool when I was five?
Is it because I peed in the city pool when I was twenty-four?
Is it because I bought a Justin Timberlake cd?
Is it because I buy my underwear at thrift shops?
Is it because I eat puppies for breakfast?
Is it because I'm bald?
Is it because the only hair on my body grows on the bottom of my feet?
Is it because I snort when I laugh?
Is it because of my bad credit?
Is it because I keep lice as pets?
And name them?
Is it because I'm Jewish?
Is it because I'm also an alien?
Is it because I'm Jewish AND a member of the KKK?
Is it because I have tan lines?
Is it because in the summer I keep my undies in the fridge?
Is she ignoring me?
Does she hate me?
Is it because I once killed a man?
Is it because I voted for Bush?
Is it because I chew with my mouth open?
Is it because I haven't paid my taxes since '91?
Is it because of the incident with the sheep? I didn't know they will walk up stairs but not down.
I didn't mean to back over that fire hydrant.
I was never in Milwakee and I never met a man by the name of Scorpian there. That's just a dirty rumor.
Is it because of the 8 times I've been knocked up and abandoned my babies at the fire station?
Is it because I only have one leg?
Is it because of the needle tracks on my arms?
Is this because of the lobotomy? That's wasn't my fault, they strapped me down.
Is this because I served eight years for armed robbery? It was only a 7-11. I just took the money and a slurpee.
Is it becaues I eat my boogers?
Is it because I peed in the city pool when I was five?
Is it because I peed in the city pool when I was twenty-four?
Is it because I bought a Justin Timberlake cd?
Is it because I buy my underwear at thrift shops?
Is it because I eat puppies for breakfast?
Is it because I'm bald?
Is it because the only hair on my body grows on the bottom of my feet?
Is it because I snort when I laugh?
Is it because of my bad credit?
Is it because I keep lice as pets?
And name them?
Is it because I'm Jewish?
Is it because I'm also an alien?
Is it because I'm Jewish AND a member of the KKK?
Is it because I have tan lines?
Is it because in the summer I keep my undies in the fridge?
When I saw the roses on the counter this morning, and the notes on the mirror, I threw on whatever clothes were closest to me, so I could run out and kiss my perfect boyfriend. (I knew it had to have been him, since only he and my landlord have a key to my apartment, and the landlord doesn't really seem like the type to buy anyone flowers.) It wasn't until I was halfway to work that I realized that I had never really reconsidered my outfit, or changed. I'm a wee bit casual today.
I've always felt really strongly about responsible animal breeding, and adopting shelter pets. So now if you scroll down to below my Weather Pixie, you can see a featured shelter pet of the day. It features only California pets, but if you click the link to www.petfinder.com, you can search for shelter pets across the US and Canada.
PLEASE, if you're considering a pet, start here.
And PLEASE, spay/neuter your pets.
PLEASE, if you're considering a pet, start here.
And PLEASE, spay/neuter your pets.
.......while Coco was on vacation she got me a lobster toy with claws that really pinch. It makes me really happy. I named it Da Vinci.
I think I made the CEO mad yesterday. I correctly guessed his state of birth, not knowing that he hated that place and is very proud of his lack of accent.
(He really doesn't have an accent, it's just that he loses the end of vowel ending words when his volume goes up. No one would really notice or hear that unless they are like me and sit and listen to regional accents all day.)
(He really doesn't have an accent, it's just that he loses the end of vowel ending words when his volume goes up. No one would really notice or hear that unless they are like me and sit and listen to regional accents all day.)
This morning I stepped out of my shower to find two dozen(count them, TWO dozen, because I guess ONE dozen just wouldn't express all the love) red and white roses blooming out of my sink and heart shaped post-its on the mirror reading "I Love You".
Incidently, I took the roses to work with me, because I AM that much of a showoff.
Incidently, I took the roses to work with me, because I AM that much of a showoff.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
The Look
by Sara Teasdale
Strephon kissed me in the spring
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.
Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day
by Sara Teasdale
Strephon kissed me in the spring
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.
Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day
Someday I'm going to start a blog devoted to boys, boyfriends, couples, and more boys. I would sooooooooo invite these girls to slumber party.
I'm having lunch with the CEO today.
Every now and then he takes a couple employees out to lunch. I'm not one to be nervous around anybody, but this guy unnerves me. He never laughs when I'm trying to make him laugh. And occasionally he laughs at me when I'm not trying to make him laugh. That can't be good.
Coworker, She of the Lovely Curls suggested I get really drunk during the course of the lunch, start slurring, tell the CEO I love him, then finish with puking on his italian leather shoes that cost more than my car.
As much fun as that sounds..............
......... I think I'll behave myself.
Every now and then he takes a couple employees out to lunch. I'm not one to be nervous around anybody, but this guy unnerves me. He never laughs when I'm trying to make him laugh. And occasionally he laughs at me when I'm not trying to make him laugh. That can't be good.
Coworker, She of the Lovely Curls suggested I get really drunk during the course of the lunch, start slurring, tell the CEO I love him, then finish with puking on his italian leather shoes that cost more than my car.
As much fun as that sounds..............
......... I think I'll behave myself.
Sven and I are launching a new feature, Compliment of the Week.
In a highly ironic twist, this week I will be complimenting Sven himself.
Sven, if your brand of Christianity was a perfume, it would smell of sanity and truth and love for mankind. And maybe a smidge of wet earth right after it rains.
In a highly ironic twist, this week I will be complimenting Sven himself.
Sven, if your brand of Christianity was a perfume, it would smell of sanity and truth and love for mankind. And maybe a smidge of wet earth right after it rains.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Algebra Tutor/Receptionist - "See, I knew you could do it. It's just like we learned from the movie 'Pyscho'."
Algebra Student - "What, to kill your mother?"
Algebra Tutor/Receptionist - "No, that if you try hard enough, you can become anything you want. Even your own mother."
Algebra Student - "Oh. That's nice."
Algebra Student's Mother - "What are you teaching my daughter in there?"
Algebra Student - "What, to kill your mother?"
Algebra Tutor/Receptionist - "No, that if you try hard enough, you can become anything you want. Even your own mother."
Algebra Student - "Oh. That's nice."
Algebra Student's Mother - "What are you teaching my daughter in there?"
The only comman factor is that they were all thought by me on the hour long drive from work to Coco's house tonight.
I think I will replace all the boring buttons on my button down shirts with bright funky buttons that I will buy at thrift shops and craft stores. Feeling no obligation to match them to each other, or even to the shirt.
The smell of JR's car gave me a flashback to a dressing room of the first major theater I ever danced in. I remember being nine years old, tugging up my tutu, going onstage, and realizing that I would never in my life have more fun than this.
That a boyfriend that holds your hand while driving is not to be unnoticed or unappreciated for even a day.
That that is the biggest freakin' crow I've ever seen in my entire life!
I think I will replace all the boring buttons on my button down shirts with bright funky buttons that I will buy at thrift shops and craft stores. Feeling no obligation to match them to each other, or even to the shirt.
The smell of JR's car gave me a flashback to a dressing room of the first major theater I ever danced in. I remember being nine years old, tugging up my tutu, going onstage, and realizing that I would never in my life have more fun than this.
That a boyfriend that holds your hand while driving is not to be unnoticed or unappreciated for even a day.
That that is the biggest freakin' crow I've ever seen in my entire life!
My honey has a blog. And his blog has two very devoted fans. The are thirteen, female, and oh so obviously crushing on my boyfriend.
JR is terribly embarrassed by this.
I think it's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
JR is terribly embarrassed by this.
I think it's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
Now wait. Don't say anything yet. I know. I didn't have high hopes for his new album. I was so surprised when I heard it and it was SO GOOD. So no hatin' until you've heard it. Hit me up on IM (valancyjstirling on Yahoo, or valancyjane23 on Hotmail) or email me, and I'll send you a few tracks.
'Switch' has serious summer jam potential, and 'If U Can't Dance (Slide)' had me laughing all the way to work.
'Switch' has serious summer jam potential, and 'If U Can't Dance (Slide)' had me laughing all the way to work.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Youth Leader/Receptionst (speaking to room full of Jr. Highers) - "Are my teeth still red?"
Couple kids in unison - "Yeah, why are they red?"
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "Because Catie handed Coco and I each half of a note, written on red paper and asked us to eat it so no one could steal it and read it."
Kids - "Uh, so you're telling us you ate paper?"
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "Sure, it tasted sorta sweet at first. Then................."
Coco - "Then not so much. Ick."
Couple kids in unison - "Yeah, why are they red?"
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "Because Catie handed Coco and I each half of a note, written on red paper and asked us to eat it so no one could steal it and read it."
Kids - "Uh, so you're telling us you ate paper?"
Youth Leader/Receptionist - "Sure, it tasted sorta sweet at first. Then................."
Coco - "Then not so much. Ick."
Kidlets, please see note at bottom of post.
Today felt a bit like the begining of summer, somehow. And I doubt a summer will ever come in my life, that doesn't make me think of him.
I wasn't in love with him, if that's what you are thinking. In fact, it didn't exactly come as a shock when he finally told me he was gay.
He saved my life, I think. More than once.
When I was sixteen, I met him at the beach. I remember it exactly, we were standing by the roller coaster at Mission Beach. It's surprising that I wasn't in love with him, he's tall and blond and handsome. He was seventeen, and spending the summer here, in the town were he was born. He'd been raised in Belgium, because his dad worked for NATO. We chatted all afternoon, and a friendship was born.
Just a few short days later, my world crashed around me when Roger died.
Josh showed up at my house EVERY DAY that summer. "Where are we going today, [VJ]?" he'd ask. He pulled me out of myself, at a time when I was in serious danger of retreating so far inward into my own dark thoughts that I don't know what I might have done. I don't think I would have survived that summer alone.
But everyday, I'd get out of my pjs and face the world when I saw his blue Honda CRX pull up my driveway. We'd go and have fantastic adventures, or we'd take long drives up the coast or into the mountains, saying nothing but blasting Tonic 'If You Could See' or the Dave Matthews Band 'Crash into Me'.
Once we drove up to Santa Monica. We laid out in the sand, but Josh and his short attention span got restless. "I wanna try something," he said. "Just to see if it works." He walked up to a couple sunbathing, and asked if they had a dollar. He said his wallet had been stolen while we were in the ocean, and he needed gas to get home. The woman was so incensed that someone would steal from a tourist, that she gave him three dollars. I saw the light in Josh's eyes. In less then twenty minutes he'd collected more than twenty dollars. I wanted to scold him, but the idea that Josh, who's family is worth millions, was begging, was so funny that all I could do is laugh. I must confess that my scruples were easily bought, in the form of a lunch that I couldn't really enjoy because I was afraid someone who gave him money would see us.
As the summer drew to an end, I was afraid of being without him. He invited me to come back to Belguim with him. I almost went. I was more afraid of being without him than going to another country and starting a new life. But when I'm afraid of something, I instinctively do exactly that.
So I stayed, without him.
Ever since, he's visited me. Always impulsively, never planned.
One day I was at the same beach where we met, Mission Beach, when I got a page to check my messages. I went to a pay phone and listened to a message of Josh saying he had popped into town. What I didn't know was that he had left the message from the payphone on the other side of the one I was listening on, and he was standing about ten feet away at the time. I looked up at the end of the message and we stared at each other. He said, "Wow. I paged you just a minute ago, and you show up. That's a GOOD pager."
Once he called me from Fiji, to say that he could get off in LA, if he took a cargo plane, and I could pick him up in LA. I agreed and called in sick to my boss for a few days. Once I got to LAX, I realized that they don't have a handy little 'Arrivals' board and a waiting room for cargo flights. LAX has about 18 cargo runways, and it took some serious detective work (and some flirting with a customer service rep at the company that owned the cargo plane Josh was on) to find his plane, but I did, just as it touched down. That day he said he'd like to see the stars over the desert (proof of my theory that you can travel the world over, and not see stars like the stars over the desert.) We found a resort out in the middle of nowhere, and decided to check in for a couple days. We hadn't brought any luggage, so we spent three days wearing nothing but the bathrobes that were in our cottage. We ate breakfast in the formal dining room. In our bathrobes. We lounged by the pool and shopped in the giftshop. In our bathrobes. Josh suggested a game of tennis, but that proved rather difficult to do in a bathrobe, so we gave up and drank champagne all afternoon.
One time Josh got my brother in on a surprise for me. Josh called me one friday afternoon, supposedly from Washington DC, and asked what I was up too that weekend. A little while later my brother showed up and suggested I hop in his car so we could go to an early dinner. About a block away, Jesse says he has a surprise for me in the backseat of his car, and I look back and Josh, who'd been hiding under a blanket, sat up and said, "We thought it would be a nice weekend to go to Mexico." And just like that, we went.
Josh loved Mexico as much as I did. We'd jokingly dirty dance in the clubs, or get free drinks in the hotel bar by posing as newlyweds. We almost got slung out of Hussongs the night Josh overdid on the tequila. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR."
Once we put bleach on his hair and then forgot all about it. We were driving up the mountains when he began to complain that his scalp itched. Then we remembered. About five minutes later, Josh pulled the car over and grabbed my water bottle and attempted to rinse off his peeling scalp on the side of the road. I tried to help, in between waves of giggles that left me useless and leaning over the hood of the car.
Once we fit 10 people in his two bucket seat car and drove to the nearest 7-11.
Once I flew to Washington DC (where he lived for a year) in time for the cherry blossoms and we rented paddle boats on the Potomac and slid through museums with slick marble floors. We got drenched dancing in a rainstorm, and found a great disco dance club. I was hauled out of the Reflecting Pool by the Secret Service (apparently you aren't allowed to wade in it). We made S'mores in X and Os, while sipping Mexican coffee.
And so on and so forth.
A million stories, a million times he saved my sanity. He gave me a break from life, like a summer vacation. It just won't seem like a real summer unless he comes to visit me.
Note to my kidlets - This is my usual disclaimer, were I point out that just because I was stupid enough to try something in my Before Christ years does not mean its a good idea. I mention doing a lot of things in this post that you should never try. Adventure does not need to involve lying, drinking or dirty dancing in a gay bar. In fact, nothing ruins a good adventure more than spending the next two days puking your guts up from a hangover, or waking up in a Mexican prison. So I'm telling you what happened, this is not how you should behave. I know, I've said this before, I just want to make it clear. And if if you are still curious about any of these behaviors, I will bend your ears back with stories of the consquences of my behavior.
Today felt a bit like the begining of summer, somehow. And I doubt a summer will ever come in my life, that doesn't make me think of him.
I wasn't in love with him, if that's what you are thinking. In fact, it didn't exactly come as a shock when he finally told me he was gay.
He saved my life, I think. More than once.
When I was sixteen, I met him at the beach. I remember it exactly, we were standing by the roller coaster at Mission Beach. It's surprising that I wasn't in love with him, he's tall and blond and handsome. He was seventeen, and spending the summer here, in the town were he was born. He'd been raised in Belgium, because his dad worked for NATO. We chatted all afternoon, and a friendship was born.
Just a few short days later, my world crashed around me when Roger died.
Josh showed up at my house EVERY DAY that summer. "Where are we going today, [VJ]?" he'd ask. He pulled me out of myself, at a time when I was in serious danger of retreating so far inward into my own dark thoughts that I don't know what I might have done. I don't think I would have survived that summer alone.
But everyday, I'd get out of my pjs and face the world when I saw his blue Honda CRX pull up my driveway. We'd go and have fantastic adventures, or we'd take long drives up the coast or into the mountains, saying nothing but blasting Tonic 'If You Could See' or the Dave Matthews Band 'Crash into Me'.
Once we drove up to Santa Monica. We laid out in the sand, but Josh and his short attention span got restless. "I wanna try something," he said. "Just to see if it works." He walked up to a couple sunbathing, and asked if they had a dollar. He said his wallet had been stolen while we were in the ocean, and he needed gas to get home. The woman was so incensed that someone would steal from a tourist, that she gave him three dollars. I saw the light in Josh's eyes. In less then twenty minutes he'd collected more than twenty dollars. I wanted to scold him, but the idea that Josh, who's family is worth millions, was begging, was so funny that all I could do is laugh. I must confess that my scruples were easily bought, in the form of a lunch that I couldn't really enjoy because I was afraid someone who gave him money would see us.
As the summer drew to an end, I was afraid of being without him. He invited me to come back to Belguim with him. I almost went. I was more afraid of being without him than going to another country and starting a new life. But when I'm afraid of something, I instinctively do exactly that.
So I stayed, without him.
Ever since, he's visited me. Always impulsively, never planned.
One day I was at the same beach where we met, Mission Beach, when I got a page to check my messages. I went to a pay phone and listened to a message of Josh saying he had popped into town. What I didn't know was that he had left the message from the payphone on the other side of the one I was listening on, and he was standing about ten feet away at the time. I looked up at the end of the message and we stared at each other. He said, "Wow. I paged you just a minute ago, and you show up. That's a GOOD pager."
Once he called me from Fiji, to say that he could get off in LA, if he took a cargo plane, and I could pick him up in LA. I agreed and called in sick to my boss for a few days. Once I got to LAX, I realized that they don't have a handy little 'Arrivals' board and a waiting room for cargo flights. LAX has about 18 cargo runways, and it took some serious detective work (and some flirting with a customer service rep at the company that owned the cargo plane Josh was on) to find his plane, but I did, just as it touched down. That day he said he'd like to see the stars over the desert (proof of my theory that you can travel the world over, and not see stars like the stars over the desert.) We found a resort out in the middle of nowhere, and decided to check in for a couple days. We hadn't brought any luggage, so we spent three days wearing nothing but the bathrobes that were in our cottage. We ate breakfast in the formal dining room. In our bathrobes. We lounged by the pool and shopped in the giftshop. In our bathrobes. Josh suggested a game of tennis, but that proved rather difficult to do in a bathrobe, so we gave up and drank champagne all afternoon.
One time Josh got my brother in on a surprise for me. Josh called me one friday afternoon, supposedly from Washington DC, and asked what I was up too that weekend. A little while later my brother showed up and suggested I hop in his car so we could go to an early dinner. About a block away, Jesse says he has a surprise for me in the backseat of his car, and I look back and Josh, who'd been hiding under a blanket, sat up and said, "We thought it would be a nice weekend to go to Mexico." And just like that, we went.
Josh loved Mexico as much as I did. We'd jokingly dirty dance in the clubs, or get free drinks in the hotel bar by posing as newlyweds. We almost got slung out of Hussongs the night Josh overdid on the tequila. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR."
Once we put bleach on his hair and then forgot all about it. We were driving up the mountains when he began to complain that his scalp itched. Then we remembered. About five minutes later, Josh pulled the car over and grabbed my water bottle and attempted to rinse off his peeling scalp on the side of the road. I tried to help, in between waves of giggles that left me useless and leaning over the hood of the car.
Once we fit 10 people in his two bucket seat car and drove to the nearest 7-11.
Once I flew to Washington DC (where he lived for a year) in time for the cherry blossoms and we rented paddle boats on the Potomac and slid through museums with slick marble floors. We got drenched dancing in a rainstorm, and found a great disco dance club. I was hauled out of the Reflecting Pool by the Secret Service (apparently you aren't allowed to wade in it). We made S'mores in X and Os, while sipping Mexican coffee.
And so on and so forth.
A million stories, a million times he saved my sanity. He gave me a break from life, like a summer vacation. It just won't seem like a real summer unless he comes to visit me.
Note to my kidlets - This is my usual disclaimer, were I point out that just because I was stupid enough to try something in my Before Christ years does not mean its a good idea. I mention doing a lot of things in this post that you should never try. Adventure does not need to involve lying, drinking or dirty dancing in a gay bar. In fact, nothing ruins a good adventure more than spending the next two days puking your guts up from a hangover, or waking up in a Mexican prison. So I'm telling you what happened, this is not how you should behave. I know, I've said this before, I just want to make it clear. And if if you are still curious about any of these behaviors, I will bend your ears back with stories of the consquences of my behavior.
Right now I'm eating a soft, dry, fresh mexican pastry from the corner place near my apartment, and I'm wearing a necklace that says "Blessed".
I feel these two facts are related, somehow.
I feel these two facts are related, somehow.
Name the most unusual object you possess.
Hm. I own a lot of random things. Probably going to have to go with the pulpit. I was at a church yard sale and they were selling an old wooden box style pulpit for five bucks. I bought it and now I use it as a writing desk. I still haven't decided what color to paint it.
Name three things you like about yourself.
I like that I notice shy people.
I like that I can laugh easily.
I like that people trust me with their secrets.
Name three things you don't.
That I can't get rid of a stuffed animal, or rid myself of the notion that it will be heartbroken if I get rid of it.
That I can be forgetful of obligations. I really don't want to be that sort of person.
Anytime I am afraid of something, I despise that in myself.
Name three things you'd like to learn.
To speak Chinese and French. I have a theory that by knowing English, Chinese and French, you can have basic communication with most of the world. Most countries, if one of those languages is not the official language, it's a comman second language. It's a theory anyway.
To learn to cook mexican food. I sure know how to eat it, but I'm not a very good cook of it. When I lived in Alburquerque, I dated a local hispanic guy named Gabe, and his friends' wives and girlfriends couldn't believe how useless I was in the kitchen. I understood just enough spanish to understand one of them mutter, "Good thing she has money." (they considered me rich, funny how different people's perceptions are on wealth) I'm sure it was a strain on their sense of humor not to call me "Gringa" to my face, so I made the joke myself to set them at ease. They tried to teach me to make tortillas, and I gave Gabe my first attempt.
"Awww, hun, you made it heart-shaped. How sweet!"
"Uh, not on purpose. I was trying for round."
To play the cello. No, wait. Something more practical. Like be really good at removing stains. Or one of those people that can throw together a soup without a recipe. Or knows what time of year to plant things.
It occurs to me that I apparently want to learn to BE Bunny.
Ok, I know. My stepgrandmother used to work at a vet's office, and she just buys the syringes and vaccinations and vaccinates all her pets herself, like its nothing. Think how handy that ability would be, how much time and money you would save on vet trips. I wish I could do that.
Name three things that comfort you when you are stressed.
Certainly not the thought of sticking a needle into my own pet. Maybe that last skill is beyond me. But my pets comfort me. Maximus is extra nice to me when I'm stressed or sick. He just knows, somehow. And was there ever anything more soothing that the sight of happy fish swimming around their big tank? Even my hermit crabs chirp to each other at night.
JR. Just one hug from him and I start calming down. He snuggles me in tight to his chest and wipes my tears. Then he'll grab the nearest stuffed animal and start a puppet show with it, dancing, kissing my cheek, playing peekaboo, until I laugh.
*We now pause this post while the writer calls her boyfriend and tells him she loves him............
........ and now on with the post.*
Tea and toast. That's comfort food. If it's tea and toast late at night in Bunny's kitchen, while she says kind words that make me feel empowered to deal with whatever is stressing me out, even better.
Hm. I own a lot of random things. Probably going to have to go with the pulpit. I was at a church yard sale and they were selling an old wooden box style pulpit for five bucks. I bought it and now I use it as a writing desk. I still haven't decided what color to paint it.
Name three things you like about yourself.
I like that I notice shy people.
I like that I can laugh easily.
I like that people trust me with their secrets.
Name three things you don't.
That I can't get rid of a stuffed animal, or rid myself of the notion that it will be heartbroken if I get rid of it.
That I can be forgetful of obligations. I really don't want to be that sort of person.
Anytime I am afraid of something, I despise that in myself.
Name three things you'd like to learn.
To speak Chinese and French. I have a theory that by knowing English, Chinese and French, you can have basic communication with most of the world. Most countries, if one of those languages is not the official language, it's a comman second language. It's a theory anyway.
To learn to cook mexican food. I sure know how to eat it, but I'm not a very good cook of it. When I lived in Alburquerque, I dated a local hispanic guy named Gabe, and his friends' wives and girlfriends couldn't believe how useless I was in the kitchen. I understood just enough spanish to understand one of them mutter, "Good thing she has money." (they considered me rich, funny how different people's perceptions are on wealth) I'm sure it was a strain on their sense of humor not to call me "Gringa" to my face, so I made the joke myself to set them at ease. They tried to teach me to make tortillas, and I gave Gabe my first attempt.
"Awww, hun, you made it heart-shaped. How sweet!"
"Uh, not on purpose. I was trying for round."
To play the cello. No, wait. Something more practical. Like be really good at removing stains. Or one of those people that can throw together a soup without a recipe. Or knows what time of year to plant things.
It occurs to me that I apparently want to learn to BE Bunny.
Ok, I know. My stepgrandmother used to work at a vet's office, and she just buys the syringes and vaccinations and vaccinates all her pets herself, like its nothing. Think how handy that ability would be, how much time and money you would save on vet trips. I wish I could do that.
Name three things that comfort you when you are stressed.
Certainly not the thought of sticking a needle into my own pet. Maybe that last skill is beyond me. But my pets comfort me. Maximus is extra nice to me when I'm stressed or sick. He just knows, somehow. And was there ever anything more soothing that the sight of happy fish swimming around their big tank? Even my hermit crabs chirp to each other at night.
JR. Just one hug from him and I start calming down. He snuggles me in tight to his chest and wipes my tears. Then he'll grab the nearest stuffed animal and start a puppet show with it, dancing, kissing my cheek, playing peekaboo, until I laugh.
*We now pause this post while the writer calls her boyfriend and tells him she loves him............
........ and now on with the post.*
Tea and toast. That's comfort food. If it's tea and toast late at night in Bunny's kitchen, while she says kind words that make me feel empowered to deal with whatever is stressing me out, even better.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door.
(This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly
complicated way.)
2 . How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?!
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in
the elephant, and close the door. (This tests your ability to think
through the repercussions of your previous actions.)
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals are
invited, and all attend... except one ..
Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there.
(This tests your memory.)
4. There is a river you must cross, but it is inhabited by crocodiles,
and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not
been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. (This
tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.)
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several
correct answers.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door.
(This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly
complicated way.)
2 . How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?!
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in
the elephant, and close the door. (This tests your ability to think
through the repercussions of your previous actions.)
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals are
invited, and all attend... except one ..
Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there.
(This tests your memory.)
4. There is a river you must cross, but it is inhabited by crocodiles,
and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not
been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. (This
tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.)
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several
correct answers.
...... where goldfish come from? Where is their native habitat? Are there lakes with schools of goldfish in them? What part of the world do they come from?
All I know is that I got mine at a fair, so mine are carnie gypsies, I quess.
All I know is that I got mine at a fair, so mine are carnie gypsies, I quess.
Rhodent has a recipe for Garbage Can Corn. And yes, it DOES involve a actual garbage can, and no, I'm not kidding.
Rhodent, you seem like a handy person to know.
Rhodent, you seem like a handy person to know.
Jenn See, if there is any fairness in the world, you, Col and I will end up as old ladies living on the same block, sipping brandly-laced ice tea and 'Bedazzling' t-shirts for each other.
Monday, April 04, 2005
If you send me a CD, I will mention it.
If it's the best mix CD ever created, I will mention that too.
Jonny, that's the best mix CD ever created, in the world, in the history of music.
The bar has been set high, people, but please try to up it.
If it's the best mix CD ever created, I will mention that too.
Jonny, that's the best mix CD ever created, in the world, in the history of music.
The bar has been set high, people, but please try to up it.
Today Sven used the phrase 'contraception conversation'. It was priceless.
Maybe you had to be there.
Maybe you had to be there.
This is really just my attempt to convince the world wide that I DO have some semblance of a life on weekends.
Friday night my sexy boyfriend took me to the drive-in movies, to see Robots and Miss Congeniality 2. That was nice.
Sat. we tried to go the beach, but between the locals and the spring-breakers, there was no, NO parking left. We ended up eating our picnic lunch while cruising parking lot after parking lot, looking for a space. It was a nice drive by the ocean, though.
We went shopping in Old Town instead. I found the nicest vintage bead store and bought the supplies for a present for 'Rez. (Which came out beautifully, 'Rez, and you'll get in in the mail soon, I promise.)
Sunday was the time change, but that didn't bother me to much. JR had to drive me to church because I'm still to dizzy to drive anywhere. After church we had a lunch of rolled tacos and he went home to mow his lawn. I was going to try to get some cleaning done, but I was so dizzy and exhausted (I'm sooooooo reading to be done being sick!) that all I could manage was a nap, and a general tidying up. After the nap,I did feel a bet better, and JR came back over and we went grocery shopping.
Hmmmmm. So much for convincing y'all I have a life.
Friday night my sexy boyfriend took me to the drive-in movies, to see Robots and Miss Congeniality 2. That was nice.
Sat. we tried to go the beach, but between the locals and the spring-breakers, there was no, NO parking left. We ended up eating our picnic lunch while cruising parking lot after parking lot, looking for a space. It was a nice drive by the ocean, though.
We went shopping in Old Town instead. I found the nicest vintage bead store and bought the supplies for a present for 'Rez. (Which came out beautifully, 'Rez, and you'll get in in the mail soon, I promise.)
Sunday was the time change, but that didn't bother me to much. JR had to drive me to church because I'm still to dizzy to drive anywhere. After church we had a lunch of rolled tacos and he went home to mow his lawn. I was going to try to get some cleaning done, but I was so dizzy and exhausted (I'm sooooooo reading to be done being sick!) that all I could manage was a nap, and a general tidying up. After the nap,I did feel a bet better, and JR came back over and we went grocery shopping.
Hmmmmm. So much for convincing y'all I have a life.
Ma Homie in Marketing - "[VJ], I'm upset about this time change. I want my hour back. Now."
Receptionist - "I'll have it on your desk by noon, sir."
Receptionist - "I'll have it on your desk by noon, sir."
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Glen Holt went online and got me a early morning star map, so I'll know what I'm looking at on my morning walks.
Is that not the coolest and most thoughtful unexpected gift?
Is that not the coolest and most thoughtful unexpected gift?
Saturday, April 02, 2005
I'm Back! (aka JR) says:
so, what's with the name?
Calshinaying (aka VJ) says:
Oh, long story.
Calshinaying says:
You know the word 'swashbuckling'?
Calshinaying says:
You know it has to do with pirates, but you aren't sure exactly what action it is.
Calshinaying says:
Jonny and I were discussing it.
Calshinaying says:
And I said I wanted a vague verb that meant nothing more specific than just me doing me stuff.
Calshinaying says:
So Jonny came up with Calshinaying.
Calshinaying says:
I calshinay.
I'm Back! says:
oh, ok
Calshinaying says:
I said it was a long story, I didn't promise it was interesting.
so, what's with the name?
Calshinaying (aka VJ) says:
Oh, long story.
Calshinaying says:
You know the word 'swashbuckling'?
Calshinaying says:
You know it has to do with pirates, but you aren't sure exactly what action it is.
Calshinaying says:
Jonny and I were discussing it.
Calshinaying says:
And I said I wanted a vague verb that meant nothing more specific than just me doing me stuff.
Calshinaying says:
So Jonny came up with Calshinaying.
Calshinaying says:
I calshinay.
I'm Back! says:
oh, ok
Calshinaying says:
I said it was a long story, I didn't promise it was interesting.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Tie between 'Rezzie's "Hic you, you hiccers" and 'Mookie's "it made me chuckle more than a small amount".
Feel free to vote.
Feel free to vote.
After the untimely demise of Caspian,
(*moment of silence*)
the lobby has been a bit bare and lonely. I considered getting another beta fish, but since I was unsure as to whether the rough lobby-life contributed to his death, I thought perhaps another pet might be better.
Of course, given my pick, I would get a giant turtle or a pair of rabbits that I would let loose to hop and reproduce at will. A really unique work pet.
But there are, of course, rules about that. Nothing that must be walked, spayed or fed on the weekends.
Nothing that causes allergic reactions or makes noise.
Must be small, and self-contained.
Fish worked ok, Caspian was a luv, but I wanted something I could pull out and pet.
So I got hermit crabs.
(*pauses for the inevitable joke about 'VJ got crabs at work'.
Done?
Ok, on with the story.*)
Now I have a pet that only has to be fed weekly, watered and bathed twice weekly, and can be held and played with. Low maintainence, high fun. So far they've been quite a hit with the employees.
So, I present to you (with pictures to follow at a later date)-
Bradly "Blade" Whitman
Raymond "Rack" Ortiz
*giggle* Sorry, a little server insdustry humor there.
Anyhoo, feel free to stop by and play with Blade and Rack or drop a comment to any of us.
(*moment of silence*)
the lobby has been a bit bare and lonely. I considered getting another beta fish, but since I was unsure as to whether the rough lobby-life contributed to his death, I thought perhaps another pet might be better.
Of course, given my pick, I would get a giant turtle or a pair of rabbits that I would let loose to hop and reproduce at will. A really unique work pet.
But there are, of course, rules about that. Nothing that must be walked, spayed or fed on the weekends.
Nothing that causes allergic reactions or makes noise.
Must be small, and self-contained.
Fish worked ok, Caspian was a luv, but I wanted something I could pull out and pet.
So I got hermit crabs.
(*pauses for the inevitable joke about 'VJ got crabs at work'.
Done?
Ok, on with the story.*)
Now I have a pet that only has to be fed weekly, watered and bathed twice weekly, and can be held and played with. Low maintainence, high fun. So far they've been quite a hit with the employees.
So, I present to you (with pictures to follow at a later date)-
Bradly "Blade" Whitman
Raymond "Rack" Ortiz
*giggle* Sorry, a little server insdustry humor there.
Anyhoo, feel free to stop by and play with Blade and Rack or drop a comment to any of us.