Actual IM Messages I sent to Sven's Computer When I Knew that His Mother was Online.......

Did you tell your mom I said hi?

Is she ignoring me?

Does she hate me?

Is it because I once killed a man?

Is it because I voted for Bush?

Is it because I chew with my mouth open?

Is it because I haven't paid my taxes since '91?

Is it because of the incident with the sheep? I didn't know they will walk up stairs but not down.

I didn't mean to back over that fire hydrant.

I was never in Milwakee and I never met a man by the name of Scorpian there. That's just a dirty rumor.

Is it because of the 8 times I've been knocked up and abandoned my babies at the fire station?

Is it because I only have one leg?

Is it because of the needle tracks on my arms?

Is this because of the lobotomy? That's wasn't my fault, they strapped me down.

Is this because I served eight years for armed robbery? It was only a 7-11. I just took the money and a slurpee.

Is it becaues I eat my boogers?

Is it because I peed in the city pool when I was five?

Is it because I peed in the city pool when I was twenty-four?

Is it because I bought a Justin Timberlake cd?

Is it because I buy my underwear at thrift shops?

Is it because I eat puppies for breakfast?

Is it because I'm bald?

Is it because the only hair on my body grows on the bottom of my feet?

Is it because I snort when I laugh?

Is it because of my bad credit?

Is it because I keep lice as pets?

And name them?

Is it because I'm Jewish?

Is it because I'm also an alien?

Is it because I'm Jewish AND a member of the KKK?

Is it because I have tan lines?

Is it because in the summer I keep my undies in the fridge?