Tuesday, November 30, 2004
This soooo totally was me!
I'm Joshua Abraham Norton, the first and only Emperor of the United States of America!
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

Born in England sometime in the second decade of the nineteenth century, you carved a notable business career, in South Africa and later San Francisco, until an entry into the rice market wiped out your fortune in 1854. After this, you became quite different. The first sign of this came on September 17, 1859, when you expressed your dissatisfaction with the political situation in America by declaring yourself Norton I, Emperor of the USA. You remained as such, unchallenged, for twenty-one years.
Within a month you had decreed the dissolution of Congress. When this was largely ignored, you summoned all interested parties to discuss the matter in a music hall, and then summoned the army to quell the rebellious leaders in Washington. This did not work. Magnanimously, you decreed (eventually) that Congress could remain for the time being. However, you disbanded both major political parties in 1869, as well as instituting a fine of $25 for using the abominable nickname "Frisco" for your home city.
Your days consisted of parading around your domain - the San Francisco streets - in a uniform of royal blue with gold epaulettes. This was set off by a beaver hat and umbrella. You dispensed philosophy and inspected the state of sidewalks and the police with equal aplomb. You were a great ally of the maligned Chinese of the city, and once dispersed a riot by standing between the Chinese and their would-be assailants and reciting the Lord's Prayer quietly, head bowed.
Once arrested, you were swiftly pardoned by the Police Chief with all apologies, after which all policemen were ordered to salute you on the street. Your renown grew. Proprietors of respectable establishments fixed brass plaques to their walls proclaiming your patronage; musical and theatrical performances invariably reserved seats for you and your two dogs. (As an aside, you were a good friend of Mark Twain, who wrote an epitaph for one of your faithful hounds, Bummer.) The Census of 1870 listed your occupation as "Emperor".
The Board of Supervisors of San Francisco, upon noticing the slightly delapidated state of your attire, replaced it at their own expense. You responded graciously by granting a patent of nobility to each member. Your death, collapsing on the street on January 8, 1880, made front page news under the headline "Le Roi est Mort". Aside from what you had on your person, your possessions amounted to a single sovereign, a collection of walking sticks, an old sabre, your correspondence with Queen Victoria and 1,098,235 shares of stock in a worthless gold mine. Your funeral cortege was of 30,000 people and over two miles long.
The burial was marked by a total eclipse of the sun.

My boyfriend sent me virtual flowers. Since I can't post them on my desk, I'm showing them off to you guys. Posted by Hello

Fun thing to do in El Cajon
Take a young dog with you in the car in a drive thru car wash.

Baring my ignorance.
This sounds silly, but maybe you could help me with something. This morning I found ice on my car windows. This happens maybe once a year here and everyone in the parking lot was frantically trying to rub it off with old Burger King napkins stashed in the glove compartment and complaining that they are going to be late to work. Now logic tells me that this must happen regularly to people in colder climates and that there must be a better way to deal with it. During my five months in Minnesota, (may thru sept.) I heard people mention a thing called an 'ice scraper'. Is this used for getting ice off cars? Could someone who knows please stop laughing at me long enough to clue me in?

Tea of the morning
Cinnamon Apple.

Monday, November 29, 2004
See what is happening in San Diego. Literally.
Watch the waves roll in on Del Mar Beach or watch the setup for a Metallica concert at the Sports Arena. If you like animals, watch the Shamu Cam at Sea World to see killer whales or the Panda Cam at the zoo to see the adorable baby pandas. You can also see polar bears, apes and elephants. Or check the exact conditions at two resorts, the Catamaran or Turtle Bay.

Another Actual IM Conversation
valancyjstirling: I should not be allowed to have glitter.
JRyahoo: why? what are you doing now?
valancyjstirling: Well, right this second I am spreading glittery glue onto my keyboard, because it's on my fingers.
JRyahoo: and how did it get there?
valancyjstirling: Because I have glitter.
valancyjstirling: I shouldn't have glitter.
JRyahoo: since when? and what were you doing with the glitter?
valancyjstirling: I don't know why I have glitter at my desk, but I do.
valancyjstirling: And I downloaded a cutout for a 12-sided calender and was decorating it with highlighters and glue.
valancyjstirling: And glitter.
JRyahoo: oh, ok
valancyjstirling: From now on, I'm not allowed to have glitter at work.
JRyahoo: i could have told you that
valancyjstirling: Then why didn't you?!?!

Stealing shamelessly from Colleen.
Download a 12-sided calender here.

Because one line of Robert Browning is never enough.........
From "Pippa Passes"

Faster and more fast,
O'er night's brim, day boils at last:
Boils, pure gold, o'er the cloud-cup's brim
Where spurting and suppressed it lay,
For not a froth-flake touched the rim
Of yonder gap in the solid grey
Of the eastern cloud, an hour away;
But forth one wavelet, then another, curled,
Till the whole sunrise, not to be suppressed,
Rose, reddened, and its seething breast
Flickered in bounds, grew gold, then overflowed the world.

Jonny's Challenge, part 2
I've decided to post the fifth sentence on the twenty-third page of every book I read, and eventually I will add them together and try to make some sort of story out of them. I don't promise that it will be good, just done.

Walk Across America by Peter Jenkins.
"Either trip, I would be alone, away from hyper people rushing here and there trying to make ends meet or trying to make something out of themselves."

Selected Poems of Robert Browning.
"'Tis their scent pulls down my face upon you."

Horribly disappointed.
The retail chain Target has decided not to continue their tradition of allowing the Salvation Army Bell-ringers to collect donations outside their store, citing "increasing number of solicitation inquiries from nonprofit organizations and groups each year and determined that if we continue to allow the Salvation Army to solicit, then it opens the door to any other groups that wish to solicit our guests".
In other words, they are horribly afraid their customers might be guilted into giving up their spare change.
Oh, gee, what a shame that would be.
People might actually think of others.
Oh no.
At Christmas time, no less.
To fire off a disappointed email to Target (mentioning that their rival Walmart happily allows the bell-ringers), click here.
To make a donation to a virtual kettle, click here.

Tea of the morning
Sugar Plum Spice. Injected intraveously.

Friday, November 26, 2004
Actually Overheard
Older gentlemen: If you don't stop treating me like an old man, I will hit you with my cane.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Posted by Hello

Suggestion Box
My company has posted a new suggestion box in the upstairs breakroom. This has awesome comedic possibilities. So far Sven and Jonny have suggested:
"Get a bigger suggestion box"
"Look behind you"
"I am your father"
"You should hire someone fulltime, just to read these. If that's you, Hi."

I offer:
"Give me a raise. Signed Anonymous."
"We need health coverage for therapy." written in blood

Please give me your suggestions for the suggestion box.

Another Actual IM Conversation
Writer's Note - JR does not get sexual inuendo AT ALL. Right over his head. I adore that about him.

JRyahoo: (link deleted as young teens read my site, but link takes you to an offer for a free t-shirt and magazine subscription for ASSets.
JRyahoo: should i get it
valancyjstirling: Absolutely.
valancyjstirling: And where the t-shirt to work, I'm sure no one would be offended by it at all.
JRyahoo: you sure? is it an ok magazine to have?
valancyjstirling: Do you really want it? Are you serious?
JRyahoo: its a free magazine... and i am asking you if it is clean... supposedly there are some not ok pop-ups that come up if you click on the link on that post... so i figured i would have you tell me if its ok or should i just pass
valancyjstirling: Um, honey, it's a magazine about women's butts.
valancyjstirling: I love you so dearly.
JRyahoo: oh ok

I am reposting this, because I AM that self-absorbed.
The virtual me. Except I sound better.

My Kingdom
To create my own kingdom, even in jest, would serve only to illustrate my utter unfitness for leadership. Therefore, after long and careful deliberation, I have decided to live in Jonny's Kingdom. And to vacaction in Mexico.

What I'm really greatful for this Thankgiving.
Dear Heavenly Father,

I would like to thank you for JR. No other person or thing has added more to my joy in this past year. You really knew what You where doing when You crossed our paths. I'm grateful that he is infinatly kind and honest. I'm grateful that he is good with money and patient in helping me better manage mine. I'm glad that he's a good cook and has soft hands that touch me like I'm a rare and valuable object. Mostly I grateful that he loves me back.

I'm grateful for rolling luggage.

I'm grateful that my car has a blinker that sounds like the pop of a Snapple lid, instead of an annoying 'ping, ping'.

I'm grateful that I'm pretty enough to clean up well, but not so pretty that I must be suspect of all males being around me for the wrong reasons.

I'm grateful for my friend Bunny. I blunder along, trying to be a good friend, trying to say the right thing and be supportive at the right moments, while she has an uncanny sense of when I need to be hugged, questioned or given a cup of tea. She's far more skilled at friendship than I, and I'm lucky to have her.

I'm grateful to live in a country of wealth and plenty. I can afford any kind of food I want to eat, a luxury many do not have.

I'm grateful for tweezers.

I'm grateful for a cat that purrs me to sleep every night.

I'm grateful for the warm feeling I get when I come home to a full fridge, a soft couch and all my books lined up on shelves like a recieving line of old friends.

I'm grateful for my junior highers. They make me laugh until it feels like they are there to do me some good, not the other way around.

I'm grateful for my job. I sit in front of a phone, an computer and a bowl of candy. I'm paid to chat with people. My boss is a kind and fair man. I have health and dental insurance at almost no cost to myself.

I'm grateful to have known pain and lonelines, so that I know I'm capable of surviving them and to appreciate the happiness and peace I now know.

I'm grateful for my church, who's staff and members really invested into me love and concern at a time in my life that not many would have considered me a good bet. They showed me that not all Christians are hypocritical, repressed, judgemental or unhappy. They showed me firsthand that God is glorified to the extent that we are satisfied in Him.

I'm grateful for JR's dog Keno's little white puppy paws, wet nose and plush ears.

I'm grateful for the fact that I'm healthy enough to work, walk and sleep.

I'm grateful for all my friends who have become a family to me.

Help me to live my gratitude more openly every day.


Ok, so this bad.
You know your 'low-maintenance' hairstyle has made you a smidge too lazy when you lose your hairbrush and don't even worry about it or look for it for three days.

Tea of the morning
Lemon Lovers.

Do you think he knows?
Do you think my boyfriend knew that the other night when I came home exhausted after running some errands after work, and he was there, making me dinner, and said to do whatever I wanted and that dinner would be ready to eat shortly, do you think he knew in that moment that was I really wanted to nibble on was him?

The Recipe for a Perfect Weekend in Mexico.
Start with three other people*.
Pack light. Bring one club outfit, with shoes you can really move and dance in. One pair of walking shoes, one pair of pants and two shirts 1 2 and a bathing suit. (I'll let you determine how much underwear is necessary.) A light wrap, depending on the season, but probably not necessary.
Take $60-70 and put it your wallet. The rest put somewhere else. That way if you get stopped by the policia you can offer 'all' your money. (This is extremely rare unless you are sloppy drunk and/or obnoxious, but occasionally an officer will decide to beef his meager salary with a 'fine'. By all means, pay the money. DO NOT use the word 'bribe'. Everything else in Mexico is so cheap that you won't miss the money much, it's quick and painless, and believe me, you DO NOT want to end up in a Mexican prison. Think of it as a toll.)
Start at 4:30PM on Friday. Buy three days of car insurance from the drive-thru stand. Smile politely upwards at the exact border crossing, as you are being photographed. (They don't stop people going in unless they look suspicious. Mexico doesn't care much.)
If you are driving, realize that lane lines are regarded as mere suggestions, and merging is a contest of wills.
Take the toll road down to Ensenada. (The free road is paved only in the loosest sense of the word.)
You will now experience on your right a panoramic sunset along a beautiful winding coastline. Take pictures, they come out well.
About three hours later you will arrive in Ensenada. Go to the Hotel Pacifico, pay $15 dollars for a room with two queen sized beds, $3 for towels, and $5 for the parking space right in front of the office so they can watch it. (probably not necessary, but hey, it's a cheap service. Once when we didn't do this, we returned to find a man leaning on the hood trying to impress a girl by telling her it was his. We winked at him, walked around the block once more to give him time to get her away from the car and came back after they had left. Why rat him out?) Ask for room 20. My brother Jesse stuck an 'emerald city' sticker on the wall of that room in like '96, it's still there. The rooms aren't fancy, in fact they are quite spartan, but the beds are clean and comfortable and you won't be spending much time here. Change into club regalia, taking no more than your ID and forty dollars. Pull up a stool and eat tacos made right before your eyes at the blue booth two blocks down from Hotel Pacifico. Eat at least six, wash them down with coke. Fine restaurants have nothing on these little bits of fried heaven. Practice your spanish on the cook, he will listen patiently.
Then head one block up to Hussongs. Quick stop, to have a shot of tequila, and dance to a mariachi band. Then over to Papas & Beer to dance the night away. Order a Midori Sour. Trust me. Then dance. ALL NIGHT.
When you are exhausted (or 2:30AM, whichever comes first) go have more tacos. Yes, the stand is still open. Then back to your hotel room to crash out.
Next morning get up around ten and go eat breakfast at the restaurant next door. Order the eggs, beans and rice. Drink Manza-something, an apple soda.
Then go shopping down the main drag, which is three blocks down. Haggle, but don't name a price and meet in the middle. Decide what's it worth to you and keep saying that amount. The consistency tells them that you aren't a pushover.
Grab a late lunch at about 1PM, consisting of more tacos (yes, again, you will understand after you've eaten there), and some strawberry ice cream from the corner store by the hotel.
Reclaim your car, and drive south of town to Estero Beach Resort. Check in, unload your stuff and suit up for the pool. The pool overlooks the ocean, swim for a bit, then thow some clothes on and rent some horses (very cheap) and ride on the beach. Then claim the hot tub next to the swim-up bar. Don't leave this spot until after the sunset. Then dinner and dancing to live music at LAS TERRAZAS. Head up the the room for the sort of laughs that can only be shared with old, good friends.
Wake up early and go for a swim in the ocean, or sleep in lazily. Your choice. Check out and head to the tip of the half-moon bay, to La Bufadora. La Bufadora is a dustly little fishing harbor with a unique underwater cave right at the shoreline. As the tide comes in, the water is pushed into the cave and forces a geyser of water up sometimes 300 feet in the air. There is also an open air market, with all the sights, smells and hagggling your little heart could desire. Buy some piping hot churros from a street vendor and coke in glass bottles (return the bottles when you are done). Buy a silver bracelet, small guitar, or small painted animal carvings. Then time for lunch. They have a little restaurant overlooking the harbor with rooftop seating. You can order a fish taco, where the fish was swimming an hour ago. Pair that with an ice cold Pacifico beer, all for about $3. Eat slowly. Tip your chin up while you eat, you get a better view of the coast and sky, it’s better for your tan, and it keeps the sauce from running down your chin. Pay a wandering mariachi singer a dollar a song to sing while you eat. When you are done, tip him five more dollars, for karma. Realize that if you had a million dollars you wouldn't feel richer than you do at this moment.
Around three o'clock, pack up your knicknacks, resist the urge to take one of the friendly little children home with you, and head up the coast. You get to watch another sunset in all it's IMAX glory. Stop in Rosarito for one last taco. Then while you are in line for the border crossing (there is a significant wait this time, America DOES care who you are), you will be entertained by vendors, who walk amoung the lines of cars with locally woven blankets and baskets, churros (if you get bored, buy a pack of churros and walk up and down and try to sell them yourself), glass ornaments, piggy banks made from local clay, hats, ponchos, bas relief murals, roses, anything you can think of. Even children will use their adorable smiles to sell you more mexican candy and gum then you know what to do with, although they don't come out in the street much, but boy the minute your feet hit the sidewallk, "Pretty lady, you want Chicklets?" Yes, street vending is a family business around here. You'd think it would be dangerous for the kids, but the mexican culture prizes children so much, that every single adult looks out for every single child. It's a town of babysitters. Children are to them what money is to us. A rich man is a man with a big family.
Once you are across the border, head home in that blissful silence you feel after a opera or a massage.

*I cannot stress enough the distintion between 'friends' and 'friends you would travel with'. Now is the time to be picky.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I don't know what to say about these pictures.  Posted by Hello

 Posted by Hello

Wouldn't it be nice if there were no wars? Don't know if that's possible, but it would be nice. Posted by Hello

Ok, so JR is forever and always my hero, but today, this guy is a little bit my hero, for stopping traffic for ducks. Posted by Hello

Colleen and her husband on their wedding day. So much cuteness going on this picture! :) (and another tall guy-short chick couple to add to the tall guy-short chick party list. Posted by Hello

This is NOT a rant.
I'm not ranting, I said I was done with worrying about my mother and her stupid choices. And I meant it. But I would just like to point out that after cancelling dinner with me, (and promising a long engagement) she went out and married "Prophet Bob". Exactly 13 days after her divorce was final. I was not invited. I was not notified until 19 days later. They are now leaving for, and I quote, "the kingdom of Omaha". They promise to be back by Christmas. When I will be given a chance to meet Prophet Bob. My new daddy. I'm not ranting, I'm not questioning her judgement, I'm just stating facts here. 13 days between marriages. Never met the guy. Doesn't tell me for almost three weeks. I'm just saying.

I love cranberries!
You Are Cranberry Soda
Pucker up!

What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

Jonny's Challenge
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal... Along with these instructions.

Sadly, y'all, the closest 'book' was an In Touch magazine. I'm so ashamed.
So here is the fith sentence on the 23rd page, it was a picture caption.

Naomi Campbell hung out with new hot couple Sean Lennon and Milla Jovovich, who cuddled all night, according to a witness.

I'm stealing this from Lou's Blog.
Ok, so General Mills should hire these guys because it really did make me want Cheerios.

Tea of the morning
Back on the Sugar Plum 'Crack' Spice.

Another Actual Conversation
Knife Demonstrator/Salesperson - "...... and we know the holidays are coming up, so we are going to give you all a free knife.............."

Spectator - "Obviously you know my family."

Monday, November 22, 2004
Nicole ("Coco" or "Homie C") and Lauren ("Lou") have new Blogspot Blogs!
Two of my kidlets are blogging. I feel so proud.


I don't have a picture of Matthew, but I would soooo party with him and his wife. We could have a tall guy-short chick couples party.

Ok, so I totally knew that Thanksgiving was this week, but it just hit me that THANKSGIVING IS THIS WEEK!

Fun Things to Do In DC (my tribute to Zoe's Blog)
A couple of years back I decided to fly out to DC to visit my friend Josh, who had recently moved there, and my brother who had previously lived out in DC for a year while he was sixteen and working as Congressional Page decided to come with me.

Confuse Club Titles

We were in Dupont Circle one night and we went to a place we thought was called Xando's. (Zoe is laughing right now, I'm sure.) We had such a great time that we told a few other people that we met that there was this great place called Xando's, but no one had heard of it. We were like, "How could you miss it? It's right on the circle, it's huge, and it's very busy." Josh called me a few weeks later to tell me that he had found out it was actually called X and O's.

Stand in the Reflecting Pool

And watch park security come out of the woodwork. Appearently you aren't supposed to do that.

Twirl in the Cherry Trees

A storm came swoping in very quickly, and the pressure dropped and the wind picked up. The wind was pulling the cherry blossom petals off the trees and whirling them around us like snow. What could we do but dance?

"Blond" and flatter your way onto your plane home after losing your ticket

"Oh, I needed that piece of paper? Silly me, I thought it was a reciept. You're like the head of every around here, aren't you, and you're smart and you've got this big important (slight pause) computer. Isn't there something you can do?"

AND I knitted a scarf.
Friday night we met up with my old roomie Devin, her sister Kayla (who tried to convince the server that she was Raven Simone from the show That's So Raven), Mike Dufel (why did you cut your beautiful hair!?!? Sure, you're handsomer now, but now I can't wrap a curl around my finger or stretch them out and try to picture how long it would be if we tried to bl0w it straight. Why?!?!?), my brother Jesse and his girlfriend Bethany for dinner at Fuddruckers.
Sat. morning JR and I went back to Ikea for the last of my Postage Stamp's furnishings. I was almost run over DELIBERATLY by a woman who was apparently that desparete for a parking space. JR and I picked up the big shelving unit that I've posted earlier. We got all the way to the curb to load it into the car, when it hit us, there was no way it was going to fit in his mustang. Opps. We had to call Bunny to bring her van. Once again, Bunny saves the day. Bunny should wear some sort of superhero costume, like a cape and bunny ears. Then we got it home and realized that we had only grabbed one box when we should have gotten three, so JR had to drive all the way back to Ikea, while I assembled the barstools and the lights. We spent the rest of the day putting books and stuff on shelves and making sense out of my closet. Then Sunday was church and then we went to KMart for a trash can, kitchen towels and ice cube trays. I got a free knife just for watching a demostration of a set of knives that can apparently cut through a steel hammer head and the wooden cutting board, about other things. I was impressed, but I didn't buy. I don't think I should have that sort of power. Then back to the Postage Stamp for nachos, naps and more organizing. Then Bunny and Jessica (her daughter) came over to inspect the (almost) finished product. As of bedtime last night all that was left is to make a little more sense out of my closet, making all items contained therein space efficient, easily accessible and visually appealing, and to do the same with the items in my writing desk/pulpit. Then it's done. DONE.

Another Actual Conversation
Boyfriend, Height 6'2 (arranging shelves) - How's this?

Girlfriend, Height 5'3 in slippers - Does it work for you? Is the height right?

Boyfriend, Height 6'2 - Yeah.

Girfriend, Height 5'3 in slippers - Then bring it down one foot and we're good.

Lauren (wearing her Switchfoot hat)........ Posted by Hello

........... drew this portrait of us at the Switchfoot concert.  Posted by Hello

Very Important Clarification.

THIS is my hero. Posted by Hello

Tea of the morning
Ginseng Energy.

Friday, November 19, 2004

My hero. A soldier in Iraq who feeds the stray dogs, pets left by fleeing people. He's a clog in a harsh and horrible machine, but he saves pets for people to come home too. Posted by Hello

I don't really know why I feel compelled to write about this, but I do.
To paint a picture of myself at fifteen: I had waist length brown hair. I was skinny, too skinny really. I danced, ballet mostly, which creates a lot of very lean muscle, plus I forgot to eat more often than not. I slept very little, but the upside was that will all that time I wasn't sleeping I figured I might as well study, so I led the school. I was out of sync with my body, with life. I lived in a house with a parnoid delusional mother who wasn't capable of helping herself. Any ounce of support my father might have been able to offer (assuming he wanted to, which is a very optimistic assumption) was used by my mother. I was in massive denial about being raped by a family friend. I couldn't even tell them. I knew how it would be. The unspoken yet very clear message from my parents was, "You have to be 'ok'. If you aren't ok, fake it. We have nothing, no support, no hope, to offer. We can't even handle acknowledging your pain, because that would mean acknowledging that we aren't ok. And that is unthinkable.'
That being the backdrop of my life, I was very good at pretending to be ok. I ate, drank and breathed deceit, smiling sunnily. No one knew that I couldn't turn the lights out at night. No one knew that three AM was the worst hour of every day, that it found me awake and scared everynight. I didn't even begin to know how to ask for help. Once I performed 'Memory' from the musical Cats, about an old cat alone on the streets. I looked up at the end and kids were on the verge of tears, and everyone told me I had such 'range' to show such emotion with dance, but they didn't know that that wasn't acting, pain, loss and loneliness were easy stories for me to tell. I would tell them with my body if I couldn't with words.
In school that year, I had a lot of class with, or right next to, Roger Ballard. The boy who didn't know he was my lifeline. He thought he was my friend, my walk to class buddy. Maybe he did know, but he respected my evasiveness. He was the most peace-filled, happy-go-lucky soul that ever walked this earth. He was happy, and I was not. I watched him, studied him, trying to learn the most complicated lesson of all, happiness. I think by the end of the year he must have seen through me a bit, because he wrote some things in my yearbook that suggested he knew what I needed to hear. Life is short, I'm proud of you, your courage and uniqueness, cut yourself some slack, but always follow your dreams, those things I most needed to hear. He did me a world of good. I got my first tardy to class, first one ever in the history of my attending school, because Roger didn't believe in walking to quickly and I was savoring every moment with him. When I told Roger about it, he laughed, and said, "Good for you." Of course I was in love with him.
That next summer, I was now sixteen, and begining to have real moments of happiness. I was now dancing with the highest level of dancers at my dance school. I actually slept for hours at a time. I was off to an all day party at the beach, a reunion of some friends from summer camp. I'm riding there with my friend Caleb, who I went to camp and school with. He broke the news. Casually, because he didn't know Roger and I were friends. Roger and his father were returning from a camping trip in Colorado when a semi truck plowed into them head on. They both died on impact. I sat in the car, silent. Comforted only by the fact that I must be dead too, because I couldn't feel anything. Physically or emotionally. I don't know how I got through that day. It didn't occur to me to call someone to come and get me, so I sat amoung friends, silent and motionless. I don't know what they thought.
I didn't just lose a friend that day. I lost hope. I didn't find it again for many years. And now that I have happiness and peace oozing from my very pores, I think about Roger, and that I think he would be proud of me.

The 'Foot!!!!!
Last nights agenda:
Pick up Lauren.
Feed her junk food and sugar.
Take her to an overstimulating concert experience, i.e. loud music, giggly friends, lights, mass hysteria.
Get her home very late on a school night.
Hand her back to her mother.
Say "You get her to go to bed."

Mission Accomplished.

So I leave work early, pick up Lauren and we drive downtown. I suggest we grab something to eat and we pull into a innocent looking Jack-In-The-Box. The whole neighborhood looks rather dark, but nothing seems scary or anything. So we bounce into JITB, ponytails swinging, giggling, and get in line. That's when it hit us, really. Other than a few employees behind the counter, we are the only females in the building. And we had obviously wandered into 'the wrong neighborhood'. It was like everyone in there froze. Then we froze. It was like a neon sign went on over our heads 'Suburban White Chicks'. Then I thought, so we're different. So what? We're all just hungry people. So I tried to stand naturally, clutching my little pink Nine West MiniBag to my chest, trying not to shake my silvery, dangly earrings to much. If I had known that I was going to experience a different culture, I would have dressed a bit more inconspicously, but it was too late for that now. I saw to Lauren, "Should I get the chicken strips or the fish?" The guy behind me (and by behind me, I mean about an inch and a half behind my neck) says, "I think you should get the cavier", his voice dripping with sarcasm. I thought, humor defuses these situations, right? (and how did walking into a JITB suddenly become a 'situation'? What a world we've made for ourselves) So I laughed like it was this guy and my little inside joke and said, "Is that what's in those pita fajita things?" After that he was mostly quiet, except for muttering that what I should really buy was his dinner. I really would have, you know, except that I wasn't sure how to do it without appearing to be condescending, which would have confirmed their suspicion that I thought I was somehow better because my car is shiny and everything in it works. So I didn't buy his dinner because I think I would have bought his dignity from him at the same time. And frankly, I didn't want to create a problem with Lauren there. I ordered my chicken strips, and told Lauren (who was quieter than I've ever known her to be, EVER, I'm assuming because this was a rather new experience for her, not something she had ever encountered on her vacations to Fiji, or to New York for an opera) to order whatever she wanted. As soon as I said those words, two things happened. There was a collective snort from every man in there. And I realized I could have phrased that better. I am a simple creature, really. And ecomically, I think of myself as being far poorer than the style to which I was raised. A conscience choice on my part, of course, and one I'm very happy with. I realize that the concept of 'rich' is very relative, but I've never really been in a place where ordering anything you want at a fast food joint is someones idea of 'rich'. It was incredibly humbling, and I wanted to thank everyone there for the mental slap it gave my way of thinking. I really need and crave that. But it was scary with Lauren there. I was out of my comfort zone, but to her it was like being on Mars. She was scared. And I was scared for her. We left, Lauren thinking only of getting to the car and the safety it afforded, and I thinking of the tickets in my pocket, the cost of which would have bought everyone in there breakfast, lunch and dinner, but instead paid for us to sit in a chair and listen to music. Ouch.
After our little tour of a life very different from our own, we pull up the concert and I pay a man who I really hoped was a valet ten bucks to take my car. We met up with Coco, Shannon and Katie in the lobby and they all bought their t-shirts and hats and posters and buttons. They all bought hats and suggested I buy one too. So I bought a hat with "The Format" on it, which I assumed was the opening act and I figured it would make a good gift for JR. Coco insisted I wear it, and wear it 'the cool way' which is basically halfway between normal and sideways. The assured me I didn't look like the 'old people who tried to hard', but think that's just because, frankly, I could pass for 13 when I don't wear makeup, which I wasn't. I ran back down the car, which the valet found after offering me like 8 other white Focuses, to get Lauren's camera. In the elavator someone looked at my hat and asked me, "Who's The Format? Where are they from?" I was like, "I have no idea." They asked, "What's their music like?" I was like, " I have no idea." The first opening act was The Honorary Title. Great lead singer, but he insisted on talking, or rather, blithering idiotically between songs. I wanted to yell, "Shut up and sing something!". The Format was really cool. You could tell they were cool because I never saw anyone but the keyboard player's eyes, because of all the swingy, cool hair going on on these guys. Then at 10:16 (aka, my bedtime), Switchfoot came out. And ROCKED. HARD. I don't want to go into it much, because hearing about someone else's concert experience is about as interesting as seeing someones vacation photos from Disneyland. You really did need to be there. But I will say that they give an awesome live show and I would buy tickets to see them again anytime. And you should come with me.

Tea of the morning
Constant Comfort.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

More of my kidlets. They are, from bottom left to right, Lindsey, Shannon, Mikayla, Lindsey, Chelsea and Coco (who looks confused). I assure you, we were having more fun that it appears. Posted by Hello

Anna and Natalie, two of my Jr. High kidlets from last year, who had the nerve to graduate and leave me. Posted by Hello

Cracker Jack Prize
If you enjoy the thrill of a prize in your Cracker Jack box, get a little dose of that here.

This makes it all worth it.
Tonight I am taking Lauren to see a Switchfoot concert. This morning she sent me this email.

I am so thrilled!!! I decided to video tape everything I can except the concert, ya know...like me being excited this morning, you coming to pick me up, and the parking lot....and pics of the tickets and all of our merchandise...then I can make a final video to keep forever to remember this totally fun day!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Arri! Ari! Ari!!!! Leeko! Leeko! Leeko! Ketchup is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C ya after work & school!

Tea of the morning
Still hooked on the Sugar Plum Spice. I should stock up before the season ends and they stop carrying it. Or else I'll end up in tea rehab.

I'm not sure I'm cool enough to party with Jonny and Pete, but I would if I could. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Person I would party with (part 1) aka 'Sven'. Posted by Hello

Person I would party with (part 2) aka 'Pete'. Posted by Hello

I am totally addicted to crack(ing my back).
Do they have a 12-Step program for that?

Have you ever been driving down the road and pass a group of trees by the side of the road, and the trees look normal, like they just sprang up there naturally, except that in one brief second the trees, as you pass by them, flash into perfect rows like corn and you realize that someone planted those trees, which is totally ok, because San Diego has very few native trees and most of the trees you see were planted by someone, but still you are upset because the person who planted them had no imagination at all and couldn't think of a better way to plant them than in perfectly straight rows?

Hybrid Post/Cry for help.
Note, thanks to my dear blog friends, it appears I have that link thing down. Am I cooler now?

I got the idea from Sven to write a review of the blogs I read. But unlike the talented Sven, I don't know how to put the links on the sidebar of my blog, and this post illustrates the sad secret that I know nothing about computers and everything I know I have learned from other people's patient explainations. So hopefully this entry with copy and pasted addresses will inspire/sufficiantly annoy someone into explaining how to post links. I would also like to know how to do that thing where you click on a word and the word is a link. That would make me cool.

My very first blog friend. Shares my love of old movies, tea, rotary phones and Audrey Heburn. Unlike me, a talented artist, a skilled mountain climber and can write in a way that makes you feel you can see right into him. Helped me figure out how to post pictures. He strikes me as the kind of person who would let you cry all over his shoulder.

One of my precious Jr. Highers. A joy to know, Coco's inner radiance lights up even her blog. Smarter than she realizes, she has a gift for drawing people out and making them laugh. You can't tell this from her blog, but she has a laugh that sounds like a bubbling spring. Her collection of amusing t-shirts is unmatched.

I occasionally steal funny stuff from this blog.

Heather B. Armstrong aka Dooce
I have gone back and read every entry on her blog. She is my blogging idol. She feels like an old friend, and sometimes I have to remind myself that we've never actually spoken and she doesn't know me at all.

Satisfys an unholy urge to mock celebrities' clothes. Well written, gossipy and more decadently fun than a tabloid.

I would buy a plane ticket to DC just to hug her. And she wouldn't be weirded out by that. She would understand.

The sunniest little soul, the kindest commenter, and someone I hope will be my friend.

She's making homemade christmas presents for her friends and is a tea drinker. I want to be her neighbor when we are old ladies.

Sven will really make you think. Sven has a lot to say, and I'm glad he's says it. Sven's 'Dear Pat' posts are wickedly funny. Sven hates hypocriscy and that endears him to me.

Jonny has an incredibly creative mind and quick sense of humor. If I had kids, I would ask Jonny to babysit them. I am teaching Jonny to speak American, and he is teaching me to speak English. There is no doubt in my mind that he is smarter than me.

The Future is Coming
He can prove it with science and a piano.
He is either far smarter than me, or completely insane. I wouldn't bet on either.

If Pete lived in the area, I would invite him to every party I throw.
One of these days, Pete will cast me in one of his short films. (*crossed fingers) He seems a bit like a runaway train, and a very fun one at that.

Writes the longest sentences and the best short plays. He would have been a secret agent, but was thwarted by lack of walkie talkies.

I read Matthew for the vicarious thrills of owning a house that cost less than 500,000 and of having a real career. He's also a very sympathetic commenter.

My name twin, and a very good pumpkin carver, she understands the grown-up thrills of a low electricity bill. I would party with her.

A very poetic soul. Looking forward to reading more of her posts.


Everything you wanted to know about a town called Bakersfield.

Sites I reccomend.

Art Car Agency


Bug Creek Soap


Tea of the morning
Back to the Sugar Plum Spice. Really great stuff, appears to be addictive.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Thought stolen shamelessy from Jonny
Opinion for the day:
When you find yourself taking more than one book with you to the toilet, that's when you know you're an intellectual.

Very Important Question.
How do you know when cottage cheese has gone bad?

I should kiss him more.

This is what my poor sweet boyfriend looks like after he has lugged every single thing I own out of my house, into his truck, across town, up a flight of stairs and into my apartment.  Posted by Hello

If all the world is a stage......
...... then I want better lighting. And backup dancers. Backup dancers would be cool.

Another Actual IM Conversation
JRyahoo: you wanna see what i am getting you for christmas?
valancyjstirling: Yes!
valancyjstirling: What?
JRyahoo: www.you-think-i-would-really-let-you-see-what-you-are-getting.com
valancyjstirling: You go to great lengths to tease me.

You wanna know the sad part? I clicked on the link, just in case.

I've just discovered a new way to waste time.
All I need are some lego men and some bubble wrap.

Shampoo Time Capsule
Last night I went grocery shopping and so this morning I opened a new bottle of shampoo, a brand I haven't used since I was in high school. They say scent is the sense most tied to memory (you learn useful information from anti-perspirant commercials) and that seems to be very true when it come to my shampoo. My shower became a time machine and suddenly I was 16, with waist length hair, hurrying so I wouldn't be late for my first class. Last night in the shampoo aisle of the store, I sniffed a few shampoos and discovered the following mental links.
Chamomile - the five months I lived in Minnesota. Peach colored shower tiles, listening to a bad radio station that played 'Hit me with your best shot' every hour, on the hour.
Aloe Vera - the five months I lived in Alburquerque, New Mexico. The clear shower curtain with the yellow and green origami fish I folded and hung on the dry side of the curtain. The layer of windblown dust that I washed from my body daily.
Coconut - that really gastly ruffled blue shower curtain that my roommate insisted on, that Maximus kept clawing at, presumably because even cats have better taste than that. Then my roommate got mad and I had to PAY MONEY to buy another ugly monstrosity.

Quote of the Day
Madonna said today that we should pull all of our troops out of Iraq.Donald Rumsfeld said, "No, I think we better wait and hear what Britney Spears has to say about it first.
Jay Leno

Tea of the morning

Monday, November 15, 2004
My Japanese name.

My japanese name is 坂本 Sakamoto (book of the hill) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Actual phone conversation
Receptionist: Mr Driggers, there is a Harry Sasstrom on the line for you.

(long pause)

CEO: Is that a person? Or a prehistoric animal?

This weekend I signed an addendum to my lease stating that I would 'not lick the walls or eat paint chips.' I know you think I'm making this up, but I'm not. Now, all I want to do is lick the wall.

Another Jonny Test
1. What do you think? That I drank too many liquids this morning and will have to make a bathroom run before I finish this test.
2. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa? My parents explained Santa to me as a sort of game to play, so I always knew his 'existence' was in the same class of truth as ' my mother's sanity'. It's fun to pretend it exists, but it's just a game.
3. What is the meaning of existence? I'm not entirely sure, but I suspect it was something to do with carbs.
4. Do you like musicals? Some of them.
5. Would you like to have retractable arms? Only when people are shoving fliers at me.
6. Are you posh? Since my only acquaintance with the word 'posh' is the Spice Girl and sometimes a description of a bathroom in a Las Vegas casino, and neither of those have much resemblance to myself, I will say, NO.
7. Do you agree with this statement? Yes. With all my heart.
8. If you won the lottery, how would you waste the money? I'd squander it recklessly on education for underprivileged kids and aids treatment in Africa. And a private concert by Enrique Iglesias where I hold a rose and he sings love songs to me.
9. What’s your deepest, darkest secret? That I believe Bigfoot might exist
10. Tell me. But I already mentioned that on my blog.
11. Go on! So I'm stripped of secrets.
12. Sod you then. Do you know how central heating works? Not a clue. This is San Diego. I think there is a switch to turn on the heat somewhere in my apartment, but someone painted over it.
13. Why do things look smaller when they are further away? Because they actually get smaller when they are far from you. Things puff up with happiness when you approach.
14. In your head, are you still 16? No, 13. And in love with a guy I met at summer camp.
15. Do you frequently make statements but enunciate them as though they are questions? Not really?
16. Why do groups of schoolgirls walk so incredibly slowly? Because it's difficult to coordinate all those 'ohmygosh' hand movements and hair tosses, all while keeping an eye on who is watching them, while navigating. Seriously, try it. It's, like, hard and stuff.
17. How can birds fly right into the centre of trees without hitting any of the branches? Because they actually pay attention to where they are going and aren't on their cell phones and yelling at their kids in the backseat.
18. What are cats up to? My cat is stockpiling weapons for his master world domination plan.
19. What are you up to? Trying to stay in my cat's good graces.
20. Could 2+2 ever possibly equal 7? Yes, I'm sure it is.
21. Can you fall asleep on your back? Yes, and more importantly, I can fall asleep on your back.
22. What’s the first thing that comes into your head when you wake up? Oh, no. I'm dying. All I can see is black, my throat and nose are dry and fuzzy, and I can't breathe. Oh wait, my cat is sleeping on my face again.
23. “In the city, the 100 share index closed at 5.67 points up and the yen is up 2.3 against the
pound”. Is this English?
I believe it's dewey decimal, a dialect of the native american tribes.
24. Do you care what color your bathroom is? Sadly yes. My bathroom is a vision in off-white, pale green and light blue.
25. The French drink more than us, smoke more than us, eat more fat than us, but live between 4-14 years longer. (By “us”, I mean the British). Is this fair? No, and as an American, I feel the moral responsibility to invade France and slaughter anyone older that you.
26. If you could take out one of your eyes, and use it to look at your other eye, what would you see? Well, I would hold my eyeball behind my back to see if my butt looks big in these pants. Hoping it does, of course, big butts are in.
27. “This sentence is false”. This has devastating implications for the classical correspondence theory of truth. So what? So I'm eating leftovers stolen from the conference room after a lunch meeting between our CEO and the Intel guys. It's quite tasty leftovers. I supplement my diet this way quite often.
28. A baguette is not a small bag, and an omelette is not a small om. Can you think of two more examples of things that aren’t what their name suggests in this way? No. Well, one of my exes was a black man, a tall one at that, but certain things about him weren't as they were rumored to be, if you catch my drift.
29. I only asked if you could think of them, not to tell me what they were. Do you feel as though you have now wasted valuable time? No, I feel like I might have wasted your time reading that, however.
30. Would you ever jump out of a plane? If the person flying the plane had very bad breath perhaps.
31. Would you ever jump out of a plane wearing a parachute? Only if I wanted to live or had a haircut appointment that day.
32. Is “because it’s there” ever really a good enough reason to climb a mountain? Sure, if you need a reason.
33. What was Nietzsche hiding behind his moustache? The next Mormon 'scripture' which will be discovered in 2014.
34. Why can’t you ever think of any jokes when someone asks you to tell them a joke? I can.
35. If you had your own Greek chorus, what would they sing? Opera, making everything I do seem important and fraught with meaning.
36. Do you like telling people what to do? Not really, then I am responsible for the problems arising from my poor leadership.
37. Do you like people telling you what to do? Do you think I should like that? Tell me.
38. Can you lend me a tenner? Sure, fly out here and get it.
39. Have you ever played air guitar in your underwear to a song you would never admit you liked to anyone? Yes, but it was air harp to an Enya song. Please still be my friend.
40. Have you ever been to Suffolk? No.

Jonny's Test
1. Would you ever go to a restaurant for a meal by yourself? Yes, I have. The upside is that you can order ranch dressing on your salad, instead of something with the word 'vinaigrette' in the name, just to appear like you have some level of sophistication. The downside is that you have to take responsibility for ordering all of the food on the table, you can't force your boyfriend to order desert and then eat most of it because 'he insisted'.
2. If nothing was illegal, what would you do? Put up roadblocks on all the freeway onramps, then ride my bike down the empty freeway.
3. If nothing was impossible, what would you do? Fly!
4. Does it annoy you when people misuse apostrophe's? Yes, but then I thoughtlessly do it myself when I'm not paying attention.
5. Would you rather be stupid or ugly? Ugly. Without a doubt, ugly.
6. Do you enjoy walking up spiral staircases? Depends on how far up we're going. The first couple floors, sure.
7. Do you like sprouts? Yes, I like to put them on a piece of toast and melt cheese over the top.
8. Why not? They're good for you. True
9. Do you really care about the environment? Depends on whether or not I'm having a good hair day.
10. What was the first album you bought? I believe it was either Faith Hill's Piece of my Heart or a DC Talk album. No one will want to be my friend after reading this.
11. It was Queen's Greatest Hits, wasn't it? No, if it had been, I'm sure I would have been slightly cooler.
12. When was the last time you went to the dentist? The last time I visited my mother. She said we were going to lunch, but pulled up in front of the dentist office and suggested we both get a cleaning. She's weird like that. (And no, I don't think it was a hint or anything, the dentist said my teeth look great. Still no cavities.)
13. Have you ever set ants on fire with a magnifying glass? No, I was a sensitive, animal loving child.
14. Is this a question? Depends on the perspective. Is it a question to me? Was it intended to be a question by the writer? My head hurts.
15. You will be shot by a firing squad in ten seconds. Last words? Will someone check to make sure I turned off my stove?
16. If you didn't have to eat, would you still eat anyway? Probably, depends on whether we can still poop.
17. Are some of your best friends gay? A few.
18. Who's your daddy? Peter Jenkins. I wish.
19. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? Depends on the roads he takes.
20. If you could be someone else, who would you be? I'd like to be an ancient Egyptian temple cat.
21. What makes you so sure they'd also want to be you in the meantime? I'm old enough to buy beer.
22. Look behind you! Did you just look behind you? No, I'm really lazy like that.
23. What's wrong with polygamy? Multiple in-laws.
24. If you were standing for election, would you vote for yourself? Sure, just so someone did.
25. It's 1995. Blur or Oasis? I was still in that unfortunate DC Talk phase.
26. It's 1641. Roundheads or Caveliers? Caveliers. For no particular reason.
27. It's raining. Does that affect your mood at all? Yes, I become utterly bewildered.
28. If you became a monk/nun, but were allowed to keep one luxury item, what would it be? My heating pad, Leon. I love him.
29. Have you ever eaten anything out of a public litter bin? No, not that I know of. But I do tend to naively eat whatever is given to me.
30. You wake up naked by the side of the road with absolutely no idea where you are. It is cold and wet. Is this funny? Absolutely!
31. Did you want to be an astronaut when you were a child? I did. No, I wanted to be a pirate. Or the ballerina on the back of the horse in the circus.
32. Did you think your answer to question 14 was clever? Not really.
33. What are your feelings about chalk? I don't mind the chalk so much, but chalkboards must be avoided at all costs to avoid any accidental contact with fingernails. WHICH IS NOT OK.
34. Cold pizza for breakfast. Disgusting? No, living the high life!
35. When you're on your own, do you fart as loudly as you want or do you still feel compelled to hold it in? I let 'er rip!
36. Why haven't there been any great British pop bands for about 5 years now? Something to do with El Nino, I imagine.
37. Identical twins are a bit sinister aren't they? Naw, unless they are the sort that dress alike and enjoy messing with you.
38. Did you ever think that weather forecasters actually had the power to control the weather? No, but nothing much ever happens here, weatherwise.
39. Your four year-old son has just asked you "Why?" for the 145th time today and it's only 10am. You tell him to stop asking why all the time. He asks why. What do you do? Give him a shot of whiskey and tell him to go play on the swings.
40. Do you consider yourself to be in any way unusual? No more than anyone else.

Things to love about my Postage Stamp
1. Nary a roommate to be found. None of their hair on the bathroom floor, and no one to consult about artwork on the living room walls. (I think I'll paint something cubist/impressionist myself.)

2. Tilly. She's two, redheaded, lives next door and introduced herself by walking up and holding out her hand to grab mine. She walked me around and showed me all the good stuff in the complex, like the wrought iron gate and the painted rocks in the garden. I have a feeling Tilly and I will get along fine.

3. The closet. My old closet was tiny. My new closet is big enough to do the hokey-pokey in. And yes, I do know that for a fact.

4. Having an entire fridge to myself.

5. Travis and Laura, the apartment managers. Travis is into mountain biking like JR, and Laura has many types of tea I haven't tried yet and she loves to share.

6. The view from my bedroom window is of Mt. Helix, which looks lovely at sunset.

7. The ugly air conditioning unit that sticks out the front wall is easily covered up by, and is a the perfect spot for, my planter. (Which holds Ike, my Ikea rescue, amoung others plants)

8. The kitchen window, which comes down so low that Maximus simply stands on his hind feet and leans his front feet on the sill, which is the cutest thing you've ever seen. (I'll post pictures)

9. Having the perfect corner to put the pulpit into to use it as a writing desk. (yes, I own a pulpit, and I will post pictures soon to explain how it is used as a writing desk.)

10. It's mine, all mine and no one will ever make(*) me move unless I want to!

*of course barring the possibility that I stop paying rent or start a meth lab in the kitchen.

Not sure who to address this complaint to.....
I was prepared for moving day. I coordinated delivery men, lease signings, sleeping over at Stacey's and taking care of her cats, with moving ALL IN ONE DAY. I was prepared. Then it rained. This is Southern California! That's why we pay so much to live here, so we don't have to take into account that it might rain. That doesn't happen here! If I even own an umbrella, it was packed away in a box from three moves ago, labeled "stuff I might need if the world ends". This is not what we pay for here in Cali. I'm a dissatisfied consumer.

I'm sorry House.
I'm sorry house. I sorry to leave you in the care of a man with such bad taste in wine (as a general rule, if you've seen a commercial for it on TV, don't buy it!). I'm sorry that as I was pulling away for the last time he was cutting down your best bushes, the ones that made you 'shadowy and suggestive' as L.M. Montgomery would say. I'm sorry that you've been stripped of your three feline watchman, Maximus the proud tyrant, Aeromus the stealthy, and Highjinks who looked as he had been snipped from the inky night sky. (Aeromus and Highjinks have been transported to Ocean Beach with Martin and Camila, and are terrorizing seagulls as we speak, I'm sure.) I'm sorry that he ever even used the word 'wainscoting' in reference to remodel of your sleek, minimalist living room. I'm sorry in advance for the fact that I know he is going to paint you some horrific color. I'm sorry that he's going to remove the beautiful painted parrot statues by the kitchen door. I'm sorry that I can't buy you myself (he gets unsolicited offers on the place all the time, the last one was over a million dollars (as all the non-locals gasp, and all the locals think 'yeah, that's about right')). I'm sorry house. I'll miss you.

What a girl wants......
A boyfriend who buys you flowers because you have cramps and a best friend who brings you a hot dinner after a long day of moving. I'm am sooooo rich in people.

Tea of the morning
Tension Tamer. It's a Monday, more so than usual.

I think Maximus likes the new loveseat. Posted by Hello

Friday, November 12, 2004
I like to be prepared for all realistic possibilities.

I firmly believe you should not be allowed to have children until you pass this test.
You are allowed to have children
According to your test results, you seem to be a
decent, law-abiding citizen who does not have
sex with animals. Go forth, and spread your
offspring throughout the world, for you have
been granted permission to reproduce. Hooray
for you.

Should you be allowed to have children?
brought to you by

What's ironic is that I almost wore this exact outfit today.
You are Lili St. Cyr!
You're Lili St. Cyr!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by

From now on, I absolutely insist on being called 'Catnip'.


What herb are you?
brought to you by

Does this mean I can hire a man to follow me around and play music? 'Cause that would be awesome!
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by

Its sad, but true........ I do correct people's grammar and insult their paperbacks. It's a wonder I have friends at all.
You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.
What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.
What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.

What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Would Jesus Do?
A story about a delusional guy who thought he was Jesus brought this interesting reply from a psychologist-reader:

The seminal figure in hypnosis, Milton Erickson, M.D., had an interesting experience in upstate New York:

When Erickson was on the staff of Worcester State Hospital, there was a young patient who called himself Jesus. He paraded about as the Messiah, wore a sheet draped around him, and attempted to impose Christianity on people.

Erickson approached him on the hospital grounds and said, "I understand you have had experience as a carpenter?" The patient could only reply that he had. Erickson involved the young man in a special project of building a bookcase and shifted him to productive labor.

Thursday, November 11, 2004
Play with a virtual cat!
Run the cursor over his chest to hear the world's most stress-relieving noise.

My honey has a Blog!

This color velvet will be my new curtain and pillow cover fabric, to go with the red suede couch. Posted by Hello

This color velvet will be for the pillow covers too. Posted by Hello

It's official.
This site is certified 69% GOOD by the Gematriculator
This site is certified 31% EVIL by the Gematriculator

The best fortune cookie ever
"Smile when you're ready."

The Sea
"Once upon a time a baby fish asked an older, larger fish about the sea. 'What is the sea?' he asked. 'I keep hearing about it, but I don't know what it is.' 'Why, the sea is all around you, little one,' said the grownup fish. 'If that's so, why can't I see it?' asked the young fish. 'Because it is everywhere. It surrounds you. It's invisible and outside you. You were born in the sea and you will die in the sea. What's more, you yourself are the life of the sea. When you swim, you reveal its presence. It's just because it's so close to you that it's very hard to see. But don't worry, it's here.' "
-Rafe Martin and Manuela Soares, from "One Hand Clapping"

Finally, proof that I might, in fact, be a little bit cool........

.......... I know this awesomely cool drummer.
http://allmightywoise.tripod.com/ Posted by Hello