1. Would you ever go to a restaurant for a meal by yourself? Yes, I have. The upside is that you can order ranch dressing on your salad, instead of something with the word 'vinaigrette' in the name, just to appear like you have some level of sophistication. The downside is that you have to take responsibility for ordering all of the food on the table, you can't force your boyfriend to order desert and then eat most of it because 'he insisted'.
2. If nothing was illegal, what would you do? Put up roadblocks on all the freeway onramps, then ride my bike down the empty freeway.
3. If nothing was impossible, what would you do? Fly!
4. Does it annoy you when people misuse apostrophe's? Yes, but then I thoughtlessly do it myself when I'm not paying attention.
5. Would you rather be stupid or ugly? Ugly. Without a doubt, ugly.
6. Do you enjoy walking up spiral staircases? Depends on how far up we're going. The first couple floors, sure.
7. Do you like sprouts? Yes, I like to put them on a piece of toast and melt cheese over the top.
8. Why not? They're good for you. True
9. Do you really care about the environment? Depends on whether or not I'm having a good hair day.
10. What was the first album you bought? I believe it was either Faith Hill's Piece of my Heart or a DC Talk album. No one will want to be my friend after reading this.
11. It was Queen's Greatest Hits, wasn't it? No, if it had been, I'm sure I would have been slightly cooler.
12. When was the last time you went to the dentist? The last time I visited my mother. She said we were going to lunch, but pulled up in front of the dentist office and suggested we both get a cleaning. She's weird like that. (And no, I don't think it was a hint or anything, the dentist said my teeth look great. Still no cavities.)
13. Have you ever set ants on fire with a magnifying glass? No, I was a sensitive, animal loving child.
14. Is this a question? Depends on the perspective. Is it a question to me? Was it intended to be a question by the writer? My head hurts.
15. You will be shot by a firing squad in ten seconds. Last words? Will someone check to make sure I turned off my stove?
16. If you didn't have to eat, would you still eat anyway? Probably, depends on whether we can still poop.
17. Are some of your best friends gay? A few.
18. Who's your daddy? Peter Jenkins. I wish.
19. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? Depends on the roads he takes.
20. If you could be someone else, who would you be? I'd like to be an ancient Egyptian temple cat.
21. What makes you so sure they'd also want to be you in the meantime? I'm old enough to buy beer.
22. Look behind you! Did you just look behind you? No, I'm really lazy like that.
23. What's wrong with polygamy? Multiple in-laws.
24. If you were standing for election, would you vote for yourself? Sure, just so someone did.
25. It's 1995. Blur or Oasis? I was still in that unfortunate DC Talk phase.
26. It's 1641. Roundheads or Caveliers? Caveliers. For no particular reason.
27. It's raining. Does that affect your mood at all? Yes, I become utterly bewildered.
28. If you became a monk/nun, but were allowed to keep one luxury item, what would it be? My heating pad, Leon. I love him.
29. Have you ever eaten anything out of a public litter bin? No, not that I know of. But I do tend to naively eat whatever is given to me.
30. You wake up naked by the side of the road with absolutely no idea where you are. It is cold and wet. Is this funny? Absolutely!
31. Did you want to be an astronaut when you were a child? I did. No, I wanted to be a pirate. Or the ballerina on the back of the horse in the circus.
32. Did you think your answer to question 14 was clever? Not really.
33. What are your feelings about chalk? I don't mind the chalk so much, but chalkboards must be avoided at all costs to avoid any accidental contact with fingernails. WHICH IS NOT OK.
34. Cold pizza for breakfast. Disgusting? No, living the high life!
35. When you're on your own, do you fart as loudly as you want or do you still feel compelled to hold it in? I let 'er rip!
36. Why haven't there been any great British pop bands for about 5 years now? Something to do with El Nino, I imagine.
37. Identical twins are a bit sinister aren't they? Naw, unless they are the sort that dress alike and enjoy messing with you.
38. Did you ever think that weather forecasters actually had the power to control the weather? No, but nothing much ever happens here, weatherwise.
39. Your four year-old son has just asked you "Why?" for the 145th time today and it's only 10am. You tell him to stop asking why all the time. He asks why. What do you do? Give him a shot of whiskey and tell him to go play on the swings.
40. Do you consider yourself to be in any way unusual? No more than anyone else.
2. If nothing was illegal, what would you do? Put up roadblocks on all the freeway onramps, then ride my bike down the empty freeway.
3. If nothing was impossible, what would you do? Fly!
4. Does it annoy you when people misuse apostrophe's? Yes, but then I thoughtlessly do it myself when I'm not paying attention.
5. Would you rather be stupid or ugly? Ugly. Without a doubt, ugly.
6. Do you enjoy walking up spiral staircases? Depends on how far up we're going. The first couple floors, sure.
7. Do you like sprouts? Yes, I like to put them on a piece of toast and melt cheese over the top.
8. Why not? They're good for you. True
9. Do you really care about the environment? Depends on whether or not I'm having a good hair day.
10. What was the first album you bought? I believe it was either Faith Hill's Piece of my Heart or a DC Talk album. No one will want to be my friend after reading this.
11. It was Queen's Greatest Hits, wasn't it? No, if it had been, I'm sure I would have been slightly cooler.
12. When was the last time you went to the dentist? The last time I visited my mother. She said we were going to lunch, but pulled up in front of the dentist office and suggested we both get a cleaning. She's weird like that. (And no, I don't think it was a hint or anything, the dentist said my teeth look great. Still no cavities.)
13. Have you ever set ants on fire with a magnifying glass? No, I was a sensitive, animal loving child.
14. Is this a question? Depends on the perspective. Is it a question to me? Was it intended to be a question by the writer? My head hurts.
15. You will be shot by a firing squad in ten seconds. Last words? Will someone check to make sure I turned off my stove?
16. If you didn't have to eat, would you still eat anyway? Probably, depends on whether we can still poop.
17. Are some of your best friends gay? A few.
18. Who's your daddy? Peter Jenkins. I wish.
19. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? Depends on the roads he takes.
20. If you could be someone else, who would you be? I'd like to be an ancient Egyptian temple cat.
21. What makes you so sure they'd also want to be you in the meantime? I'm old enough to buy beer.
22. Look behind you! Did you just look behind you? No, I'm really lazy like that.
23. What's wrong with polygamy? Multiple in-laws.
24. If you were standing for election, would you vote for yourself? Sure, just so someone did.
25. It's 1995. Blur or Oasis? I was still in that unfortunate DC Talk phase.
26. It's 1641. Roundheads or Caveliers? Caveliers. For no particular reason.
27. It's raining. Does that affect your mood at all? Yes, I become utterly bewildered.
28. If you became a monk/nun, but were allowed to keep one luxury item, what would it be? My heating pad, Leon. I love him.
29. Have you ever eaten anything out of a public litter bin? No, not that I know of. But I do tend to naively eat whatever is given to me.
30. You wake up naked by the side of the road with absolutely no idea where you are. It is cold and wet. Is this funny? Absolutely!
31. Did you want to be an astronaut when you were a child? I did. No, I wanted to be a pirate. Or the ballerina on the back of the horse in the circus.
32. Did you think your answer to question 14 was clever? Not really.
33. What are your feelings about chalk? I don't mind the chalk so much, but chalkboards must be avoided at all costs to avoid any accidental contact with fingernails. WHICH IS NOT OK.
34. Cold pizza for breakfast. Disgusting? No, living the high life!
35. When you're on your own, do you fart as loudly as you want or do you still feel compelled to hold it in? I let 'er rip!
36. Why haven't there been any great British pop bands for about 5 years now? Something to do with El Nino, I imagine.
37. Identical twins are a bit sinister aren't they? Naw, unless they are the sort that dress alike and enjoy messing with you.
38. Did you ever think that weather forecasters actually had the power to control the weather? No, but nothing much ever happens here, weatherwise.
39. Your four year-old son has just asked you "Why?" for the 145th time today and it's only 10am. You tell him to stop asking why all the time. He asks why. What do you do? Give him a shot of whiskey and tell him to go play on the swings.
40. Do you consider yourself to be in any way unusual? No more than anyone else.
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