It'll be good to catch up with them.

Salesguy J - *looks out the windows at the rain* "Did you call somebody to get this turned off and moped up?"

Valancy Jane - "Yeah, I called the property management, and they're sending someone right over they said ......"

Salesguy J - "Oh good."

Valancy Jane - "..... but I think they're from county mental health."

"Pajama Jammy Jam"

That's the official name of our pajama day here at work today.


And it's funny really.
I've written before about Pajama Days and how much I love them and wish there were more of them.
I was really excited about Pajama Day here at work.

But now that we're all here, it's awkward. Too ........... intimate. Not that anybody is wearing anything sexy or inappropriate. To the contrary, really. It's like, slumber party-wear. What you wear when you have houseguests. You know, the slightly cleaned up version of what you really sleep in. The version where you're fully covered and everything matches. Where you dig out the matching (to the pjs AND to each other) slippers, instead of the dirty and cat hair covered comfy ones you usually wear.

But even that is a view of my coworkers that I've never had. That I'm happy to never have of some of them.

It would almost be better to have a naked day. At least then I could get a few snickers in before I avert my eyes.

I never remember if it's "good morning" or "good afternoon."

Sarah Smile - "Good morning, [company name], this is Sarah, how can I help you?"

Caller - "Thank god it isn't morning anymore."

Sarah Smile - "Uh, yes. And I wanted you to think about that. I wanted us to all have reality check about how grateful we should all be that the day is progressing along nicely toward the time when we can all go home. I wanted us to take a moment and ponder the small blessings. That's what I was trying to do, and it certainly wasn't a mistake on my part. Yeah."

Working.

Spillover

People often ask me if I answer my cell phone with the same greeting that I use all day at work.
To which I always respond, "No, are you kidding? I never answer my cell phone."


But my work as a receptionist has definitely spilled over into my private life in lots of ways. Not the least of which is .....

1. I never answer my cell phone. I love my job, but by the end of the day, I'm soooooooooo done talking on the phone.
2. When I pick a new hair cut, I make sure it will look ok with a headset.
3. When I end a conversation with a person standing in front of me at my desk, I often hit the headset button, as if 'hanging up' on our conversation.
4. I use my phone voice, never to my friends, but to anyone I want to impress.
5. I get annoyed when people let their phones ring. It needs to answered, like a crying baby needs to be comforted.
6. Sometimes I answer other people's phone, because the ringing to me is like an insistent tapping and someone calling my name, all at once.
7. I never buy a pair of pants without sitting down in them and letting my gut out.
8. I never worry about whether or not my shoes are work appropriate, since nobody sees them anyway. I'm like a newscaster.
9. I've graduated past being "a good liar," to an artist who works in the medium of Lie.
10. I can talk on the phone with my mouth full and you'd never know it. PRACTICE, man. I've gotten lots of practice multitasking.
    

We have new suggestion boxes.

I wonder if this means I'm still banned.

Hee.

*mutters "office bunny" and "snuggles" as she jots down a list*

I'll sit by the phone and wait.

Supplier - *signing in*
*cell phone rings*
"Hello? ............ Hmmm."
*hangs up*
"I've been getting the strangest calls lately. I pick up and it's just ice cream truck music."

Sarah Smile - *splutters* "Wha ............ it ................. they ................. WHY DON'T THEY CALL MEEEEE? Next time they call, give them my number!!!!!!"

Actually, I WOULD still have a job. I just say that to sound badass. Is it working?

Sarah Smile - "Good morning, [company name], this is Sarah, how can I help you?"

Favorite Salesguy - "It's me, Peaches."

Sarah Smile - "HI! How are you?"

Favorite Salesguy - "Stuck in an airport. Elch."

Sarah Smile - "That sucks."

Favorite Salesguy - "I wish."

Sarah Smile - "Hahahahaha."

Favorite Salesguy - "I hope they don't record these calls."

Sarah Smile - "I'm going to say what a bus driver said to me once, when I pointed out a security camera after he asked 'Do you want to drive the bus?' He said, 'If they were recording, do you think I'd still have a job?'"

They make me a better receptionist.

Sarah Smile - "What's with all the books?"

Systems Engineer - "Just studying on being an SE."

Sarah Smile - "You ARE an SE."

Systems Engineer - "Yeah, just learning to be a better one."

Sarah Smile - "Oh, ok. I'm doing the same thing. I'm shopping for coloring books on Amazon."

MHiM can always be counted on to play, even when he doesn't know the game.

Guy Waiting for an Interview with MHiM - "What's with the picnic tables out front?"

Sarah Smile - "St. Patrick's Day potluck."

Guy Waiting - "Oh, ok."

Sarah Smile - *bright smile* "Actually, it's something we do every day. We all bring food to share, and eat lunch together, and afterwards we all sing a song. It's sooooo much fun!"

Guy Waiting - *eyes widen* "Uh .... "

Sarah Smile - "Oh, I'm kidding of course."

Guy Waiting - *relaxes*

Sarah Smile - "That's just the Marketing department that does that."

Guy Waiting - *eyes widen again*

My Homie in Marketing - *comes down the stairs, bouncing with all his natural exuberance* "Hi [Guy Waiting]! Do you like hamburgers?"

Guy Waiting - *looks longingly at the door*

Don't worry about the children in my life. They know sarcasm when they hear it.

Sarah Smile - *stares dreamily out the lobby windows*

Coworker T - *walks inside after cigarette break*

Sarah Smile - "It's days like this that make me wish I smoked."

Coworker T - *laughs* "No you don't."

Sarah Smile - "Of course not. I don't want to start smoking just to get outside and relax. That's not worth it. If I start smoking it would be for a GOOD reason. You know, like because it's sexy."

The Foot-in-Mouth Monologues

"Oh [Customer Service Rep who works out of another office in another state and is visiting our main office for a few days], are you leaving already? Bummer! [Other Rep from that out of state office] called and asked if you were bugging me and I said, 'No, not nearly enough! He's been locked in a room for two days!' Come to think of it, that might have worried her. Oops. You might want to call her and make sure she knows that by 'room' I meant 'meeting.' With coffee and sandwiches and bathroom breaks. Not, like, 'broom closet.'"

Feeling Grateful.

So I discovered that our Plant Designer (who knew that was a job?) pitched a fit over my poinsettia, Captain Josef, and tried to drop him in the nearest trash can, and it was in fact My Homie in Marketing who intervened and promised I'd take him home the next day.

And that's NICE.
Because I do KNOW that I'm weird. I do KNOW that it wouldn't occur to anyone else that I could be genuinely attachted to a plant. And My Homie in Marketing is not at all the sort of person to be attachted to a plant.

And so I would have understood if nobody thought to speak up.

So it was one thing to be so considerate of my feelings.
It's another thing to remember such an odd little quirk of mine, something so foreign to their way of thought.
And it's another to remember it on the spot and be so persistant about it.

So while it was a rather minor thing, it showed a lot of consideration, and I'm going to write him a note telling him so. Using those poinsettia stickers leftover from Christmas.

I'm kidding of course about the vodka. I self-medicate with pets.

Engineer - *surveys the lobby* "At least you've got a great view."

Sarah Smile - "What do you mean, 'at least'? There are so many great things about my job. I love it."

Engineer - "Well, you gotta put up with guys like me."

Sarah Smile - *shrug* "Eh. There's always vodka for that."

The hard part wasn't catching the little sparrow gently in a styrofoam cup before he flew into the glass.

The hard part was letting him go.

Welcome to the Jungle!

Today we got a lobby full of new plants.

Also, we got a question answered.

Q - How long after Christmas can you keep a poinsettia on your desk without getting a very polite note on your monitor from My Homie in Marketing (who is responsible for keeping the place looking professional) that Captain Josef is "disrupting the feng shui of the lobby," and perhaps he could retire to a nice sunny kitchen window?

A - 67 days.


I must confess that I understand, and Captain Josef will be retiring from public service today. It's ok. It's time. I'll give him a nice gold watch.

Meet the new lobby plants. I've always said this lobby was a greenhouse, it was just missing it's plants. Missing no longer.
Some of the pictures are a bit overexposed, and oddly cropped, because I'm trying to avoid company logos, and a subsequent doocing. It was hard, since what doesn't have a logo on it, is shiny and reflects one. Bare with me. And feel free to suggest names for the plants.

The denizens of my desk and I? We feel right at home, here in the jungle.

To me, we look exactly the same way as we did in high school.

But admittedly, every year I think high school age kids look younger and younger.

Today, the doors from the lobby to the new Executive Briefing Center were being frosted. (Unfortunately, not in the yummy way.) One of the technicians I recognized from high school. CHS alumni always greet each other in exactly the same way. It was a small high school, so everyone KNEW everyone, but naturally not everyone was necessarily close. Since it was a small school, we only had one of each stereotype. So we have this common experience, but often nothing else. Like plane wreck survivors, I suppose.
So we always look at each other, sing the one line of the alma mater that anybody ever knew, ("Oh Christian Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!") , cock our heads to the side, and then, "So .................... Whatcha been up to?" but in our heads we don't actually care a bit about what they're saying unless it contains a whiff of scandal.

While he was working, I said, "Jon, I tried to look you up on myspace just now, but with no luck, so I guess I'll have to find out what you're up to these days by asking you, you know, like, with words. So old fashioned. Bleck."

"Oh, you know me, I don't use a lot of words."

"And I do."

In unison, "Some things never change."

And this got me thinking. Am I really all that different from that girl I was ten years ago? My hair is shorter and my ass is wider, that's for sure. My first instinct is to say that I'm a very different girl.

My 16th birthday party.

Back then, I was known for my huge, heavy backpack. I had a locker in timbucktoo, and I was obsessively about always having my textbooks, even for classes were we used opened them twice a year. As a result, my backpack was so heavy that I made lunch money by arm wrestling the football players.

Today, I'm known for my giant purses. At the moment, my purse has three books in it. One play, one philosophy, and one crosswords.



Back then, I led my class in English and won awards in Journalism.


Today, I blog.



Back then I had on average about 30 pets.

Today, I have 41.




Back then I had a teddy bear backpack.

Today I keep on my desk a walrus shaped water bottle.


Back then I had an almost perfect attendance record.

Today I have an almost perfect attendance record.


Back then, I was a bit of an acquired taste. Nobody knew what to make of me at first, but they all liked me in the end.

Today, that still feels like a pretty apt description.


And so perhaps I really haven't changed much at all, but the only change is in how I expect to be perceived.

See why I enjoy working with him?

Gal in Accounting - "When did they frost the glass doors to the briefing center?"

My Homie in Marketing (who is in charge of the remodel of the briefing center) - *deadpan* "They didn't. I think someone's in there."

A typical Conehead moment.

He brought me a bouquet of bananas.

They were given, not earned. Just wanted to make that clear.

Sarah Smile - *walks past the break room, (relatively) normally attired*

Pair of Coworkers - *drink coffee*

Sarah Smile - *walks back by, wearing elaborate Mardi Gras beads*

Pair of Coworkers - "Wait. What happened to you?"

Sarah Smile - "[Conehead]."

Pair of Coworkers - "Oh. Of course."



We look forward to more Conehead stories here, although we hold out hope of Conehead getting his own blog.