Actually, I WOULD still have a job. I just say that to sound badass. Is it working?

Sarah Smile - "Good morning, [company name], this is Sarah, how can I help you?"

Favorite Salesguy - "It's me, Peaches."

Sarah Smile - "HI! How are you?"

Favorite Salesguy - "Stuck in an airport. Elch."

Sarah Smile - "That sucks."

Favorite Salesguy - "I wish."

Sarah Smile - "Hahahahaha."

Favorite Salesguy - "I hope they don't record these calls."

Sarah Smile - "I'm going to say what a bus driver said to me once, when I pointed out a security camera after he asked 'Do you want to drive the bus?' He said, 'If they were recording, do you think I'd still have a job?'"

It may have GPS, but does it have googley eyes?

Favorite Salesguy - "Afternoon, Peaches. How are you?"

Sarah Smile - "I'm good. [Conehead, who chose this blog name himself] was just showing me his new phone. It's very fancy. And I showed him mine. It's like the most basic model. I mean, if my phone needs personality, hello, I have glue, I have feathers."

Favorite Salesguy - "What else do you need, really?"

Sarah Smile - "You understand."