Question.

Has anyone ever died from cramps?

Just wondering.

Tell Knickers I love him, and that we're low on cat food.

I always said when I had enough pets, I'd stop.

Nobody seemed to believe me. But I always knew I meant it.
Just because that threshold was farther out than most people's, doesn't mean it didn't exist.

*sigh*

There's been another accidental finch pregnancy. See, Maddox is such a punk that he fights with everyone but Hazel, even his own kids, and I can't put him by himself, so I have to keep him with Hazel the Prolific.
The method of birth control we've been using so far is for me to raid her nest and throw out the eggs. But she makes this strangled chirping noise when I do it, and I feel so bad upsetting her that I only do it when I see eggs in there.
And Hazel's gotten sneaky, hiding them under the nest bedding.
But I really have no one to blame but myself when I looked in and saw three little open beaks pointed back at me.

Of course I'll take great care of them, since they're my responsibility, but I think I'm going to try to find them another good home. It's not that I'd say these three additions push us into the range of Too Many Birds, but they definitely tip us into Enough Birds.

I have enough birds.

In the meantime, I get the fun of watching them grow up. Last night, the biggest of the three came out of the nest for the first time! Isn't s/he adorable?Soon his/her markings will come in, and then we'll know if he or she is in fact, a he or a she.
And I'll have the fun of setting up a big pretty cage for 'em with toys.

And then the hard part.

*sigh*

Anybody want some sweet little finches?

More Luca!

Because who doesn't need more Luca? I mean, could you possibly look at this picture and not feel better about life? Or this one?
I defy you to try.

So in the interests of public mental health, I bring you WucaBear Face .......

..... and Sleepy WucaBear Face .......

.....Luca with Kylie (left) and Mister (right). Note that of the twelve feet this mass of dog collectively owns, only four are on the ground .....And best of all, Luca in clothes.
Horrible? Perhaps.
Worth it? Hell yeah.

(Photo credit to Nick for all of these.)

Happiness isn't always so complex.

Sometimes it's as simple as feeding fruits and veggies to Rudolf.

He KNOWS his drawer in the fridge and the rustle of the produce bags and he stands up and his nose twitches in double time, and then he uses his hammock as a trampoline. It's so cute it makes my chest hurt.

Also, he loves cilantro. And that makes me want to kiss his face even more, because he has cilantro breath.

See what they're capable of?

This is why I don't let Mau out alone.



He wouldn't just head down to a fish and chips shop, either. He'd go to NASA or the Pentagon. And then for fish and chips. He likes fries.

(Thanks to MK for the link.)

"Live Bait Pet Shop"

Sarah Smile - "Oh god."

My Nick - "I saw that too. Don't worry, though. I looked carefully, and they're two SEPARATE establishments."

Sarah Smile - "Whew."

Things I have a strange urge to cuddle with.

Splinter!



The mountain goats at the zoo.



The coyote.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, dangerous wild animal, I know.
But I wove him.
He can drink my SoBe anyday.

I even know what I would name it.

Systems Engineer - "So I know what sort of car you should drive."

Sarah Smile - *thinking 'please say ice cream truck'*

Systems Engineer - "Have you ever seen the movie Dumb and Dumber?"

Sarah Smile - "The dog car?"

Systems Engineer - "Yeah! You really should do that to your car."

Sarah Smile - "Yeah, but then your insurance company has to re-evaluate your car and your payment can go up."

Systems Engineer - "Really? Wait. Why do you know that?"

Sarah Smile - "I looked into it." *deep sigh*

The real reason comes out.

Colsy says:
I want to have a daughter and name her Rio.

*plays Sims instead*

Sarah Smile says:
That's what you do when you think of a great name for a kid and are dying to use it?
I just get another pet.

There is an element of sheer wrongness to this photo, which was prolly unintended by the photographer and stylist.

It just doesn't seem appropriate. Like wearing a wedding dress on an airplane.

Yoga with a cat....

NOT a tale of animal cruelty.

Helpful Friend - "I'm thirsty."

Miss Kendra - "There's diet Coke in the fridge."

Sarah Smile - "And champagne in the poodle."

Helpful Friend - *confused look*



- one hour later -



Helpful Friend - *pulls head off poodle* "Ooooooooooooooo. There really IS champagne in the poodle."

Someone keep us from going down to the shelter. No, really. I don't think we can be trusted.

My Nick - "[Company name], this is Nick. How can I help you?"

Sarah Smile - "Hey hun, it's me."

My Nick - "Oh hi. What's up?"

Sarah Smile - *deep breath* "Nick, I need you to just tell me NO."

My Nick - "NO."

Sarah Smile - "But if you could see her eyes and her ......... protruding ribs and .................. THAT FACE ........."

My Nick - "Yes."

Is it wrong to out your cat?

I mentioned earlier that my cat sleeps on a pile of purses in my closet. This might lead you to suspect what I've known all along, that my Mau is gay. (All together now folks, "Not that there's anything wrong with that.")

But rather than discuss his fondness for baby carrots and tufu, or he complete lack of sexual interest in Dulce, his beard wife, I'll just post actual photographic evidence.


It's ok, Mau. We all know, and we all accept you.

By popular demand.

Yesterday, it was a lovely spring day, and as I finished arranging all my coffee mugs and shot glasses on the kitchen shelves, I figured I'd go out and take a few pictures, satisfy some the curiosity expressed about exactly how many pets we have.

Here's a view from the house.

If I zoom in a bit, you can see our rhinos Lowell and Lily basking in the sun. I'd go closer, but it's mating season and I'm sure you imagine ...

And in addition to our antelope, you can see Slim and Shorty, our giraffes.

I stopped by our mountain goat habitat to see who wanted an ear scratch. All God's creatures need an ear scratch from time to time.

Luca from behind.

This little okapi, Kane, looks kinda emo in his striped knee socks. I made him take his ipod out of his ears for this picture.

I spotted an intruder, and quickly dispatched my deer to take care of him.

They ate him.

Now let me show you some of our birds. That's not poop you see, they've just been burning a lot of candles up there in their lovenest.

Here's Brad, our vulture. He actually prefers eggs benedict to dead things.

Everybody gets along pretty well at our house.

I told Mattie here that I'd give her a herring for every bag of recyclables she turns in to me. We're eco-friendly like that.

I make sure I get to spend quality time with each bird. Here I am gossiping with Constance.

We have real flamigos, because the plastic ones just seemed tacky.

They share the pond with our ducks and ......

..... our catfish.

And here we are, the wildest animals around.

Flamingos are easy to dye, right?

Because PumperNickel and I are getting crotchety and intolerant in our old age, we've decided not to go out to a bar and brave the perfect storm of St. Patrick's Day/drunk 19 year old coeds here from Phoenix on Spring Break, and instead do something different. No, not sit at home and throw beer cans at neighborhood dogs. We're not THAT old and crotchety.

I'm trying to decide between SeaWorld and the San Diego Zoo.

The zoo is actually cheaper, and has more exhibits by far.



SeaWorld has beer. And a seafood restaurant, which cracks me up. "Can I have this one, sauteed in wine, or is it endangered?"



Online research doesn't reveal any plans on either of their parts to dye their animals green.

Choices, choices.

Alternate dog obedience commands I'm teaching Luca.

Instead of "shake" and "gimmie a kiss," I tell him "act like a politician!"

Instead of "get in your kennel," I use "serve five to ten!"

Instead of "get in the bathtub," I comand him to "repent, sinner!"

Anybody want a Dulce?

No, I haven't mastered cloning her (yet) but last night I combed enough hair off of her to make an extra cat.
Very economical, Jonny says.
Any takers?

Normally they don't shed much. I've been pretty lucky in that respect. For one thing, they're both only long hair crosses, so while they have the length of a long haired cat, it's nowhere near as thick as you'd think. Also, since our temperature here doesn't fluctuate much, they don't tend to grow big winter coats, and so what shedding they do is just normal hair loss.

But they do bulk up slightly for winter, and with our little heat wave this week, I was noticing that they were leaving a layer of hair where ever they slept.

Both cats loved to be brushed, but Dulce is much easier. She curls up in your lap, occasionally rolling over for you to get another spot. But Mau objects to staying put, as a matter of principle. You have to follow him around while you brush him.

He looks surprisingly good.

But the funny thing about My Nick completely shaving his head is that Luca won't stop licking it. Especially when poor Nickel is trying to sleep.

Hee, hee.

What exactly are they MADE of?

I must confess I was a bit disturbed to see an add in my gmail for "Realistic Stuffed Cats."

The actual product is a bit scary, although not in the manner in which I was afraid they would be scary.



Also, I want one.