Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all together today.
I need you, my Board of Directors, to help determine the future of ValancyJane Enterprises, Inc.

And yes, I have decided to return to the name Valancy Jane. For a while I used Sarah Smile, because it was closer to my real name and I wanted to prove that I wasn't afraid to put my name on what I wrote, and also for the sentimental reason that My Nick calls me Sarah, which made me like my given name for pretty much the first time ever.
Both excellent points but I feel they've been made.
For personal branding reasons, and also personal preference, I am returning to Valancy Jane.

But on to more pressing matters.

As you all by now probably know, on Friday at 12:30pm, Google "disabled" my account. To be shut out of both my gmail and blogger accounts without so much as a warning was a bit like coming home to find that your longtime lover had locked you out and wouldn't let you see your kids. I over-dramatize here, but only a little.

Five days later, Google, again with no explanation, simply a form letter apology, has reopened the doors.

But where did I go for those five days?

Most of you know, most of you found my comment on the post below (commenting on your own blog feels like ringing your own doorbell) that I, in my dire loneliness, had gone to Wordpress. And preceded to get very comfy there.
Go look. My shoes are definitely off. My toothbrush is next to the sink.
See, I had no idea if Google would EVER let me back.

But it has, so now I feel like Kate Bekinsale in that Pearl Harbor movie.
Like a nurse in the war and my fiancee is supposedly dead so I start dating Josh Hartnett and have that great sex scene amidst the hanging parachutes, and then Ben Affleck comes back because he was never really dead and now who do I marry?
As you can see, it's been an emotional five days.
And it's not a choice between Josh and Ben, because that would be easy (hellooooooooo, Ben, duh). It's a choice between my two blogs.
Ignore my little wordpress blog like a pregnancy I aborted ("I just wasn't prepared to raise another blog! It's my choice!") or move out of the blogger blog I've built up and worked on, like a sad old victorian house that you walk past and wonder about, while it's porch sags and it's corners fill up with spam comments?
(Again, I over-dramatize, but only a smidge.)

I need your advice.

To help, I present the following -

Reasons to stay with Google/Blogger -
Logical - more leeway with the layouts, nobody has to update their links to me, no 'old blog - new blog' confusion when googled.
Emotional - we have history together, up until five days ago it's been very good to me, it's comfortable.

Reasons to stay with Wordpress -
Logical - It's better (no really, technologically speaking, it's more advanced and easy to use), I can import all my old posts so it all stays together, and I can have 'valancyjane' as the address instead of 'vjgreetings' which only made sense back when the title of the blog was 'greetings from the lobby.'
Emotional - It never kicked me to the curb, in fact it took me in when I had nowhere to post.


You now have the floor, ladies and gentlemen.

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Wednesday, April 04, 2007
June 20th
Whatcha all doing on June 20th?

I've declared it the official Meet Other Bloggers Day.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007
One year ago........
....... to the day, the most legendary virtual houseparty ever.

Attendees included -

Col
Fred
Jon
Chamook
josh leo
Edwin, the talking circus horse
Ringmaster
The Butler
Feathers
Migrating Butterflies, Lee stayed sober to drive
babblingdweeb
Pink Elephants
Paula
Simon
Randy Jackson, who forgot his name
Harrison Ford
Closet door
Radiohead
The couch
Belinda
Liquor
Givers
Thérèse
Random person walking by
Ghandi
Cafe mocha grande
Fire Engine
The Phone
Fakin’ It Girl Band
Bake Town
Another Drink
Tequila
Law
The Tabloids
‘Rez
Green Jello in the pool
Pale Green Veil
Inflatable Duck (from ‘Rez’s blog)
Party Police
melissa.in.london
Butane Bottle
Stan
Klye
Cartman
Chuck F. Norris
Ruan
Dem Soldier
Chocolate Sauce
Peppermint Schnapps
Khow
Oprah
Martha Stewart
Sleep
Confetti
Glitter Cannon


So if you wanna have a kick ass party, there's your invite list.

And you're all invited to the reenactment party, as soon as Nick and I can find a firetruck and a pool we can fill with jello.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007
Women TALK.
Jesse - "Oh, I'm an uncle now!"

Sarah Smile - "Pfft. That's old news. Even to my blog readers."

Jesse - "Oh."

Sarah Smile - "Say hi to Bethany for me."

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
This distinction should come with a trophy!
I am the 11th search result under "batteries taste like happiness."

I must be friends with the person who did this search.

It totally sounds like something I would say. It sounds like a good title to my autobiography, really.

I'm also the 3rd search result for "'my little valley' cleavage" but ew. That does NOT sound like something I would say.

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Friday, February 23, 2007
Little Brown Book
I keep a little leather bound pocket sized notebook with me at all times. When something strikes me as funny or bloggable, I jot it down.
Because in my whirlwind head, it's hard to call the ideas back up at will. I can tell you what year Ohio became a state off the top of my head,* but not something even remotely useful, like my own blog ideas.


So, I have the book. And the notes I take are just designed to jog my memory, it consists of a strange blend of shorthand, keywords and phrases.

I can picture someone finding it and wondering what the hell it was.
I intend to release it as a book of modern poetry after my death.

Today's entry -

Onions
Criticism

Which is sadder?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to read that dramatically at a poetry reading.




*1803. Mind you, I've never BEEN to Ohio, but of course this fact I remember with no trouble at all.

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Which is sadder?
The person who requires legal action to realize they have to leave me alone, or the person who is actually jealous of said legal action?

I can't decide, try as hard as I can. And of course by "try" I mean "laugh."

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I'm through putting up with this.
Dear Devin Allmon (and a few other of you psychos need to pay attention because I have folders for you too),

Per the advice of the police and my lawyer, this is your very own official notice. If you need to read it again to figure out all the big words, you'll also find a copy in your email and your mail box. I put it here because seem desperate for the attention. So here you go. Attention. Oh and witnesses.

Every comment you leave is saved in a file titled "Harassment Log" with the date, time and the IP address of the computer, in your house, that you sent it from.
If you weren't smart enough to listen all the other times I said "nobody is anonymous here" maybe you'll figure it out when the police show up at your door.
If you don't stop, you will face the legal consequences of your actions.
If you want a harassment charge, libel lawsuit and a restraining order on your record, keep it up.
I would enjoy spending your money. On pets and sparkly things.


Sincerely,
Sarah Barrick

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Friday, February 02, 2007
And most of them are "Actual Conversations"
Sarah Smile says:
I'm so overwhelmed, 'Mookie.
I decided to go back and apply labels to all my previous posts.
So that I could take a good look at what I've got.
Because I want to self publish a few books, for my Gramies.

Chamook says:
then you realized there were 293847982734 of them?

Sarah Smile says:
Over 3,200 of them.
If I label one hundred a day, this will take me over a MONTH.

Chamook says:
ouch

Sarah Smile says:
*nods*

Chamook says:
that's a lot of words

Sarah Smile says:
*nods*
Art imitates life. I have a lot to say.

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I know you guys will understand
Sarah Smile: GUESS WHO CAME TO MY BLOG.
I hyperventilated.

Thérèse: Not...
...
... doo...couldn't be.

Sarah Smile: Yep.
I called Nick. And Bunny.

Thérèse: NO FREAKING WAY!
OH MY GOD!

Sarah Smile: Now, for all I know she looked around and thought it was crap, but she was THERE.

Thérèse: HOLY GOD!
THAT'S AWESOME!
Really, that's the equivalent of having a celebrity in your home.
You now have to add a stamp somewhere on your blog that says "over 4572947 visitors, AND ONE OF THEM WAS DOOCE."

Sarah Smile: I was thinking about it.
Spraypainting DOOCE WAS HERE across my header.
See, you understand.
The random people I cornered in the lobby, did not understand.

Thérèse: Well, yeah, they couldn't.
Even if you explained it to them, they wouldn't understand.

Sarah Smile: Not for lack of enthusiasm on my part, but yeah, they didn't understand.

Thérèse: Veaj, THAT'S SO COOL!

Sarah Smile: I KNOW.
I'M NOT EVEN USING CAPLOCKS HERE. I'M HITTING SHIFT FOR EACH KEY, THATS HOW HAPPY I AM.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
I Broke The Internet
Everytime I try to post something, it gives me a publishing error saying that essentially, I've used up all the space. In the Internet, presumably.
Figures, really, that it would be me.

(I can still email my posts in, so I'll keep doing that until I figure out what the heck is going on.)

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
It Would Be Impossible Not To Notice ........
....... how sexy and irresistible my new template is.

And you can prolly tell it was crafted by the lovely Miss Kendra, since it has that stamp of greatness and a trace of her lingering cookie scent.

I love it. I love it like I've loved all my templates, put together, plus more.



Additionally and unrelatedly, I have decided that my Mick's new cagemate is named Tess.

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Is Blogger Giving You Guys Attitude Too?

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
'Rezzie Has A LOT Of Blogs.
She has blogs like I have pets.
That's what I mean by A LOT.



She has one devoted entirely to her love of cheeseburgers. (And it's updated more often than you'd think.)

Back in October, Blogger was giving her some issues and she couldn't log in, so she asked me to log in and correct something she needed fixed.
While staring at her 'Dashboard,' even I was amazed at the never-ending list of blogs.

I created this one for her, thinking she'd find it by the end of the day.
After a few days, I figured she was biding her time, planning a prank in response.
After a few weeks, I forgot all about it.

Today, she found it.
*grin*

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