Were you expecting Ed McMahon? Perhaps a Jehovah's Witness?

Sarah Smile - *in the bathroom*

*phone rings*

My Nick - *answers*
"Hello?"
*pause*
"Ok, one minute."
*knocks on the bathroom door*

Sarah Smile - "Who is it?"

*long pause*

Sarah Smile - "Who is it on the phone, I mean. I DO realize you're the only person in the house."

Monologue

"So I was soaking in the tub for ages, and decided when I was done to take a shower to rinse off, and so I drained the tub and turned on the shower and the water was cold so I thought to myself, 'this is what poor Nick complains about since he takes his morning shower after me' and I resolved to take shorter showers for your sake, and then I realized that there WAS some hot water left, it just needed to run for a minute so I learned my lesson AND still got to take a hot shower, so it all ended happily."

Monologue

*walks out of the bathroom in a robe*

"Ok, that was one of the weirder experiences of my life. So I just used my new Mandarin Lime BodyWash/BubbleBath in my bath. It didn't occur to me that taking what is essentially an orange oil and heating it up would make me smell so much like a Panda Express. Not to mention that soaking in an oil while in a round tub with a slight incline is probably the closest a human being will come to experiencing what it would be like to have no bones. I couldn't even sit up without my butt sliding out from under me. At one point, I actually thought I was going to go down the drain.

I am a piece of boneless orange chicken."

I might have cut my hair.

And I might have had it dyed strawberry blond.


Because the cats wouldn't hold still in the chair so it had to be me.





Oh, and don't tell Nick yet. Hee.

"Never, Ever Hit Your Bunny."

Don't worry, the title has nothing to do with this post. It's just a line from the flier we got when we adopted Rudolf, and it just seems so ludicrous to even picture someone doing it, that while it isn't actually funny, it makes me laugh hysterically.

Anyway.

This post is really me whining about the weather.
Our wacky, record setting weather.
It's freakin' COLD. Like, there was FROST and it's jeopardizing the citrus crop. (If this hurts the avocado crop I'll be seriously pissed.)
It's COLD and I'm taking it PERSONALLY.

And this dryness. I'm really done with that.
Not that dry air is anything new, but cold dry air? This sucks. The heater dries out my poor skin more, and the lotion is so cold.

This is San Diego! It's not supposed to freeze! I'm not supposed to freeze! I shouldn't have to bundle up to sit on my couch! If I wanted this sort of weather, I'd go live someplace else! Someplace cheap! I want my money back from ........ well, somebody. I'll use it to go buy a coat.

Last night Nick and I ran an errand we'd been meaning to get around to since we moved, we picked up a heat bulb for the bathroom. After we put it in and turned it on, I turned to him and said, "As if we needed another reason to just live in the bathroom."

Because I Needed Another Excuse To Spend The Entire Weekend In My New Bathtub.

Now I'm sick. That chesty, coughy sort of sick.
Oye, this week is trying to KILL me.

But I have many weapons in my arsenal to fend it off with, including my cuddly kitties and the new Wonder Tub.

The Wonder Tub is amazing. In fact, the bathroom is the nicest room in the house. But the Wonder Tub isn't just pretty. It's veryvery kind and sweet to me. The Wonder Tub loves me. The Wonder Tub has whirlpool jets and bubbles. And armrests. And a faucet I can move with my toes. That's important.

It's all white and zen and womb-like. And if you need me this weekend, that's where I'll be, surrounded by books and wine bottles.