Thursday, June 30, 2005
Another Actual Conversation
Girlfriend Waiting Around At Rock Climbing Gym - *spies blocks of chalk* "Can I draw pictures all over the floor with the chalk while I wait?"

Girl Behind Counter and Guy Behind Counter - *simultaneously and respectively* "YES!" and "NO!"

It's a good thing the Guy Behind Counter didn't let me. I fully intended to trace the outline of my own body as I usually do with chalk, and in hindsight, that might not have been funny to the climbers, to have a chalk outline on the floor under a rock wall.


Good thing I didn't drink it.
So there was this can of punch in my snack drawer, left over from some company picnic or some-such, and one day I took it out, opened it and took a sip. It was awful. I'm not particularly picky, but man, this was NASTY.
I didn't want to throw it in my trashcan, because it was a friday afternoon and I knew that Carmen (the sweet little cleaning lady) wouldn't be around to empty it until monday morning, and so if I left it in my trash it would be a cloud of ants and flies by monday, and I don't know where the dumpster is, so I looked around and then dumped it over Bella, my plant.

She almost died. Really. The punch almost killed my plant. I feel horrible for poor Bella, but I'm feeling even better about the decesion to not drink it myself.


Another Actual Conversation
JR's Rock Climbing Buddy - "Oh look, thats what's wrong. My harness is twisted."

JR's Girlfriend - "Yeah." *averts eyes* "I was gonna say something, but that would involve pointing to ............... I figured it was better and less embarrassing to let you fall to your death."


More Actual Searches That Brought People Here
thanks for the one night stand greetings
"lobby duck"
www valancy defination.com
"hollaback girl" gwen meaning defination
was there an earthquake yesterday
he-asked-for-a-hug
krispy cream calander women
"why do things look smaller"
san diego museum of art the shepardess
don't lie to me

Weird people out there. Welcome.


Another Actual Conversation
Shredder Guy - "You remind me of this girl I knew in Missouri."

Receptionist - "Why? Is she crazy? Dead? Locked up?"


So then the Shredder Guy said.........
........... "Life is too short to sit around and wait for people to realize how great I am."


Quote of the Day
"There are some things in life money can't buy...

...for everything else, there's petty theft."

-Jonny Opinion


The Worlds Most Perfect Salad.
Last night I made the best salad of my life, and I just had to share. Work with well-chilled ingrediants, it needs to be quite cold when it's served.

Tear some good dark lettuce, none of that clear iceburg stuff into a bowl, and add an almost equal amount of spinach. Then add a large amount of cherry tomatoes. Then add some more. Then add about three more. Done. Eat one off the top. Throw two more into the salad. Then chop some onions, not too finely, and add them to taste.
Add some sliced black olives and a handful or two of garbonzo beans.
Squeeze a lemon wedge or three over the whole thing, and just a teeny tiny smidge of a lite ranch dressing.

Eat lustily and lick up every last bit.


Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Wanna know what's weird?
Reading your high school's alum page and finding out how many of your classmates married each other. Like, seriously. They might as well have had a combo wedding/graduation, saved money on the church rental.


What I Wore for Crazy Shirt Day

Nobody got it. Posted by Hello


Quote of the Day
And my bread is at that point where you're just not sure if the little discolored specs are any one of the "12 whole grains" advertised on the label (uh, wheat, Sleepy, Dasher, envy, uh, the piggie that ate roast beef, the piggie (no relation) who built his house of sticks, Judas, um...'wonder,' calling birds, Curly, Tuesday, and Balthasar) (had I known it was going to be that difficult when I started, I wouldn't have started) or "the beginning of a new colony of bread mold, one that will soon try to convince the bag of potatoes to start a revolution - a coup d'tator-tat if you will - to overthrow the 'bringer of light' who appears periodically turning the darkness momentarily into blindingly bright light, pulling one of their neighbors - like the bag of string cheese or a carton of yogurt - out never to be seen again."
-MooCow


Summer Plans
This summer, I plan to -


  • Watch ten sunsets with no distractions. Three of them, alone.
  • Walk in this. Wanna walk with me, or sponsor me?
  • Climb every available tree.
  • Dance while I cook.
  • Stop letting JR do all the cooking.
  • Take that belly dancing class on Sat. mornings at my favorite coffee shop.
  • Get tan lines on my feet.
  • Get watermelon up my nose.
  • Float on my back in the pool, drifting slowly, thinking of nothing and everything.
  • Build a sandcastle with a moat.
  • Take more quiet drives at twilight with JR, with the windows down, smelling the sage and oleander plant smell that the heat brings out.
  • Take the kidlets to a college production of Grease in the ampitheater on top of Mt Helix on a warm summer night, then take the them forking.
  • Play music louder.
  • Play my tamborine.
  • Buy some chocolates or such for my neighbors, as an advance apology for the tamborine playing.
  • Stop destroying every picture I paint.
  • Wear makeup no more than three times.
  • Write my name in the front of all my books, even the ones I intend to give away.
  • Realize that in my case, sunglasses are disposable items and stop feeling guilty every time I lose or break them.
  • Make friends with more of the kids in my neighborhood.
  • Buy S & C big, thick, colorful beach towels for their wedding gift.
  • Wear flowers in my hair, more often then jewelry.


Another Actual IM Conversation
Thérèse says:
what the ---

Valancy Jane says:
Monkey?

Valancy Jane says:
Candy bar?

Valancy Jane says:
Color Purple?

Thérèse says:
*looks down at left boob, gaze freezes there*

Ike says:
WHAT THE

Thérèse says:
*tries to determine how long that has been there*

Ike says:
what's on it?

Valancy Jane says:
A nipple?

Thérèse says:
*tries to wipe it off*

Valancy Jane says:
*dies laughing*

Thérèse says:
*looks to the left*
*looks to the righ*
*licks own boob*

Thérèse says:
salty.


Another Actual Conversation
Girlfriend *looks at row of beta fish on shelf at PetSmart* "I want that one, no wait, that one, no ................. I want them all."

Boyfriend - "Why don't you just live in a PetSmart?"

*Girlfriend's eyes glaze over, Boyfriend immediatly regrets words*

Girlfriend - "Do you think I could sleep in the puppy adoption room?"


This is Maggie.
I love her so.


So then I said.........
............... "It's not really that I wanna drink half a bottle of wine. I just want the first sip, thirty more times."


Tuesday, June 28, 2005
So then I said...........
................ "You know how some people hit a pillow when they're stressed? I could never do that. I relate to the pillow too much."


Another Actual IM Conversation
Ike says:
I found a new term

Valancy Jane says:
What?

Ike says:
Flashing 12: a person with no technical inclinations

Ike says:
the name comes from the fact that when you walk into their house their VCR is Flashing 12:00, because they can not figure out how to program it

Ike says:
Don't be a Flashing 12!

Valancy Jane says:
I am SO a Flashing 12.


Request to the Music Industry
Can you not put siren sound effects into songs?
Please?
It really confuses me when I'm driving.


Quote of the Day
"one person's trash is another person's treasure and of course im referring to people" - 'Shaw


Am I the only one that...........
............ that confuses the plot of A River Runs Through It with the plot of Legends of the Fall?

............ that hates it when people spell words aloud instead of saying them, like they do in front of kids when they don't want the kids to understand, because I'm 24 and I STILL can't follow it?

........... that loves, LOVES empty, uncompleted buildings?


I hope it was ............
........... a really, REALLY big donation/settlement. Because what they did is simply not ok.


So then I said.............
.................. "It's a Monday, more so than usual."


Monday, June 27, 2005
More Actual Google Searches that Led Here.
"i eat my boogers" - Yes, but is that atkins friendly?

third eye blind "we were merely freshman" story - Five bucks says the story behind that song involved alcohol.

bookself spiral - Try Ikea.

"did that" "lisa loeb" meaning - Probably something about alcohol too.

"george of the jungle" shirtless - 'Rez? If you wanna borrow the movie, just ask, ok?


So then I said............
............ "Actually, 'my deoderant is failing me' IS the story of my life. In fact, it may be the title of my autobiography."


Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey
Well, I had a migraine and cramps, so I didn't get out much, other than a walk, which led me to the house I fell in love with, and a brief shopping trip to look for old tins in a thrift shop.
So I stayed in, and cleaned. I even finally sorted my pulpit/writing desk.
And I watched a lot of movies.

That's it. My exciting life.


This weekend I fell in love with..........
........... this house.

I've named her. I want her. I would have to live on paper and the fruit from the mulberry tree out front to afford to buy her.

I could write brillant novels from the sunny little back room.


Friday, June 24, 2005
Another Actual IM Conversation
Valancy Jane says:
*hug*

Valancy Jane says:
I just hug my friends when I'm not sure what to say.

Smurf says:
lol thats ok there nuthing to say!

Valancy Jane says:
I figure a hug says, "Well, I love and adore you and I'm keeping my mouth shut and my ears open so you can talk if you want."

Smurf says:
lol good hug communication there

Valancy Jane says:
So read that everytime I hug you.

Valancy Jane says:
Either that, or I'm pickpocketing you.


Jefe, he slays me.
He wrote this.

1. So here I am at my computer watching Donnie Darko alone in my house with all the lights off. The sound quality on the version of this film that I downloaded is very poor, so the volume on my Logitech surround sound system is, for the first time in its existence, pegged all the way to the maximum setting. Although this would normally blow the screen out of my monitor, I can barely hear the film.

2. Apparently my friend Justin decided to try to add me as a friend on this site and as it always does, myspace sent me an e-mail letting me know.

3. I have an e-mail alert noise that sounds that sounds kind of like a gunshot.Some of you may be asking yourselves what all this means, why I would post these random and meaningless thoughts... Patience....
Just a the part in the movie when it's flashing back and forth between Donnie's parrents talking to the psychiatrist, and Donnie trying to stab Frank...BAM!!!!!!!!!!! Jeff gets the aforementioned e-mail.
Now, if you've never been shot at by a blast of noise from eleven speakers pointing at you from six different directions, then you will probably think that it's funny that I jumped out of my chair so fast that my keyboard and mouse went flying. You will probably think it's even funnier that I peed a little. But if you HAVE experienced this terrible, yet amazing peal of pure sound insanity, (and at such an intense moment) then you will respect me greatly for not peeing more than a little.


See the bottom of this post for why this would never happen to me.
I recieved the following email today.

Warning for all the ladies out there; and men please inform your significant other.
The Latest Scam:
Robbing Females using the bathroom at a Shopping Mall. The way the scam works is, a man slips into a women's restroom and sneaks into a stall. He waits until there is only one woman in the restroom in a neighboring stall.
The criminal then stands on the toilet and points a hand gun into the next stall, demanding the woman's valuables. After getting her cash and jewelry, he demands that she remove all of her clothing and kick them out of the stall. The thief tosses the clothing into a shopping bag, hangs an out of order sign on the restroom door, and slips back into the mall. The out of order sign ensures no one will soon come to the woman's rescue. It usually takes an hour or two for the woman to work up the nerve to leave the restroom in the nude, giving the criminal ample time to make his get away. The woman is left naked and humiliated in a mall full of strangers.
The best defense, say police, is to never go into a shopping mall restroom alone, as only women who are by themselves are targeted.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
This has so far been a nearly perfect crime, as none of the perpetrators have been caught.
Don't let this happen to another woman.


See, the reason no thief would get away with this with me is that it's hard to make a quiet getaway with an unashamed naked woman charging after you, screaming, "Give me back my purse, IT HAS A NAME, AND I LOVE HER!!!!"


Maggie causes more confusion under my desk.
Today I freaked my boss out. He leaned over the railing from upstairs and said, "[VJ], you're sitting in a cloud of smoke! Is something on fire under your desk?!" and I responded, "Oh, it's just steam. Cup of tea?"


So then I said.............
......... "The world needs more banjo music. Or at least, MY world needs more of the existing banjo music in it."


Morning Commute
As I've said before, carpooling to work with your boyfriend is the best way to insure that you never have to go more than 12 without being kissed.

JR comes over about 6:30, and while I'm getting out of the shower and dressed, he packs my lunch for me. It's nice, because I buy only stuff I like from the store, but I never know what day I'm going to get what. It's like getting presents off a gift registry. Safe surprises. He does all the little things, like opening my living room blinds and making sure the blanket is off the birdcage.

I say "'Bye gang, I'm going to work, I'll be back tonight!" to my pets as I leave. I have no idea why I feel compelled to do this.

We head out, passing BJ and Steve, my neighbors, sitting out on their porches, drinking coffee and chatting with each other. We make small talk while we pass. I heart them so.

As I've told some of you, I have a very mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder. I tend to obsess a bit on random things when I'm stressed. So as sort of a preventive measure, I give myself something fairly harmless to obsess on. So I count Ford Focuses as we drive. I have Focus if you wondering why that car. I used to count volkswagon bugs as a kid, because I loved the Herbie movies. So I count my car, in the parking lot. I swear, if I drive my car twice a week it's unsual. Someday I'm going to sell it and no one is going to believe the mileage.
Anyway, I see about twenty Focuses on an average ride to work. About seven of those are ones that I know where they will be. I've begun knowing their schedules. Once the grey Focus that was always in a parking lot near my work was gone for two days, and I was worried that something had happened to the owner.

JR always hold my hand when he drives. I love that. We sit, often silent, listening to the radio, and chatting if we feel like it. It's nice to have a quiet hour with my honey every morning. As we drive, there are certain things that I look for, as if to make sure they are all still there.

I look for the low, spanish style building on the corner that has all the lovely shade trees, and stands empty and unused, to see if anyone has bought it or is going to do anything with it.

I look for the back alley that somehow in the middle of suburban El Cajon manages to look like a country backstreet, with dirt paving and flowers growing along the sides. I have this childish idea that if I turned off my morning route down it, it would be like a magic portal to another reality. I like my life, but it's nice to feel I have that option every morning.

I look for the birds that nest on the freeway over-pass to see if they are still there.

I look for the plant on the side of the on-ramp that blooms with flowers that look exactly like yellow tissue paper.

I look for some of my favorite houses on the side of Mt Helix, to make sure they haven't been painted some ridiculous color.

As we pass the car lot that used to a roller skating rink when I was a kid, I remember the days when liking a boy meant racing past him on my white roller skates with pink laces, to the sounds of Amy Grant's "Baby, Baby" being blasted through crummy speakers.

As we pass San Diego State University, I imagine the main building as a huge spanish style mansion, and decide that my room would be the small one on the end with the arched window and balcony.

As we pass a construction site, I check to see if they've cut down any more of the beautiful eucalyptus and palm trees that surround it.

Then we pass the San Diego river. There was no competition amoung rivers for the name 'San Diego river', as it is San Diego's only river. And *gasp*, there is actually water in it this year.

When we pass the horse stables, I look to see if the horses have been fed yet. It's easy to tell, if they have, their heads are all down, eating contentedly. If not, they all are staring unmovingly at the hay barn, their bodies lined up toward it like needles on a compass.

Then we pass the military base, passing a big runway field. As we pass the field, I often see the runway lights on for a incoming plane, and as I come even with the runway, for one second I feel a pull down it, like a rock in a slingshot, or a bubble skirting the edge of a whirlpool. The next second I'm past it, and I feel as though I've escaped something I'm not exactly sure I wanted to escape.

Then we pass the trees on a building's front lawn, that had their lower branches pruned off, leaving knots in the bark that look exactly like eyes. I wink at them. One of these days I'm sure they'll wink back.

Then we pass the other corner of the military base, where the running track runs along the road. I see the new trainees practicing in their little green shorts, and always that one girl that is determinded to show up the boys, running in the front group.

Then we pass my favorite thing. A shop that sells sheepskin seat covers has three little wooden sheep, covered in sheepskin, that they put out on the front lawn. I wave every morning and say, "Good morning, Sheepies!" while JR shakes his head and regrets not making sure I was sane before falling in love with me.

The we round the corner with the glass pyramid building, and down into a valley of eucalyptus trees, then we pull into the company parking lot and I'm here.


Which Western feminist icon are you?
Emma Goldman mugshot!
You are Emma Goldman! You are the mama of
Anarchist/Communist feminism and you inspired
millions to embrace the labor movement. Without
ever directly saying so, you directed efforts
toward saving wymyn and children from
exploitation. Oh yeah, you were also a total
sexpot!

Which Western feminist icon are you?
brought to you by


Thursday, June 23, 2005
So then Owner with a Sense of Humor said........
.............. "You know, for a nun, you're pretty hot."

See, our game of giving each other a new name every day has morphed into a game were we give each other a new identity every day. I'm a nun named Francis today, and he's a dashing spy known only as 008.


Happiness is.........
......... wondering aloud which stop you are supposed to take as you buy your trolley tickets from the machine, and having a very friendly former tour guide standing right behind you, who then kindly explains exactly where I need to get on and off the trolley to get to where I'm going, which track to wait for my trolley by, and even scribbles the number for a very inexpensive pedicab should I need one, on the back of my ticket.


Note to Self
Just because the nice man comes from the shredding company to relive you of the tedious task of shredding that mountain of paper is no reason to propose marriage.

Shredder Man - "Hi. I'm here from ShreddPro."

Receptionist - "I think I love you. Will you marry me?"

Shredder Man - "Er, can I talk to [Owners Assistant]?"


Another Actual Conversation
(Ma Otha' Homie in Marketing and I were chatting about a project, etc)

Ma Otha' Homie in Marketing - "Why does it sound like water boiling?" *looking around*

Receptionist - *ducks under desk, reappears with electric tea kettle* "Oh! Tea's ready!"

Ma Otha' Homie in Marketing - "I don't want to know.................."


"Honey, that guy selling cotton candy keeps walking past me, like he KNOWS how badly I want one."
Last night was a company outing to a Padres baseball game. JR and I decided not to fight the traffic downtown and parked in Old Town and took the trolley to the stadium. It was a perfect summer night, warm, breezy, with a full moon. I love this town.

The game was interesting, we lost, but it was close. I got to play with Ma' Otha Homie in Marketing's 1 year old son, he's a doorbell.

I swear the cotton candy vendors were taunting me by hovering right around our section. I resisted. Until the sixth inning when JR was like, "Dude, you obviously want one" and bought me one. I heart that man so.
We left a bit early, because the game was running late, and hopped back on the trolley, me with my sticky blue cotton-candied fingers and lips. JR laughed at my blue lips, but didn't think it was funny when I suggested staggering up to people and whispering, "I can't breathe".

I sorta made a friend on the trolley, but we never said a word to each other. He nodded as we sat down across from him. I bobbed my head the music I could hear from his iPod. He winked. I pointed to his sweater and then did a thumbs up (it was green argayle). He looked at my blue fingers and laughed. I raised my eyes questioningly at his book, he turned it so I could read the title. "Ain't Nothin' But A G Thang - a social commentary by gansta rappers". We nodded as JR and I got off.

It was a lovely night under a summer moon.


Another Actual Conversation
Girlfriend *tarter sauce from fish burrito drips on shirt* - "Dang it, you can't take my anywhere, can you?"

Boyfriend - "Not without an extra shirt. Which I thought to bring."


Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Another Actual Phone Conversation
CS Rep in Alabama Office - "You sound sick."

Receptionist - "I have, this is so embarrassing, I have a sinus infection. I got salad dressing up my nose, and now it's been infected for like a week. I'm such a dork."

CS Rep - "Really? I almost don't believe you, that anyone could be so clumsy."

Receptionist - "You'd believe me if you'd ever met me in person. I'm the clumsiest person you'll ever met. Let me put it this way. I was browsing a Cosmo magazine article, something about 100 new things to try in bed, and JR looked over my shoulder and said, 'Honestly, dear, that just looks like 100 new ways for you to accidentally hurt me.'"


In theory.
Don't lie, girls. You planned your wedding as a child. You probably still have some ideas for it.
So this isn't by any means an anouncement. Yes, I probably will marry JR someday. No, he hasn't asked me. Yes, it's more or less a given in conversation between us. But again, no anouncement has or is being made.

That said, I have a pretty good idea of what I want from my wedding. Plus, Ike wanted to know what I was picturing. So picture this.

You get a handwritten invitation. It invites you to dress "as yourself, only more so, keeping in mind that there will be messy food and dancing."
You arrive at about 4pm on a Sunday afternoon at Bunny's house and walk up a red carpet, where JR and I will be greeting y'all and pictures of us will be taken. The yard will be decked out with tables, chairs, benches and picnic blankets at random. There will be eating of fresh mexican food at a buffet, and dancing. Lots of both, food and dancing. I personally intend to dance and eat chicken at the same time. There will be good music. Children underfoot, and pets welcome. After everyone is utterly stuffed, and just a wee bit buzzed from sangria and champagne, the festivities begin. The cememony will be hosted, award show style. Everyone is sitting at tables, including JR and I, and audience participation is DEMANDED. There will be musical numbers, and the boquet will be awarded to the people's choice. Loud comments from the guests will be encouraged. Then, as the finale, JR and I will say our vows, Bunny's youngest son, Joel, will announce "Mr and Mrs Walkenhorst" in his adorable lisp and JR and I will leave y'all to dance the rest of the night away.


Morning Routine.
They say the key to creativity is hiding your sources well, so don't go read 'Rez's blog today, especially not the post about her walk home from work every day.

Anyhoooooo, when my alarm goes off at 5:22 am, I hit snooze once, and lay there, looking out the window at Mt Helix. If Mt Helix is obscured by fog, it won't be too hot that day. But if the fog has already burned off, we're in for it. Then I roll myself out of my bed, and stumble into the bathroom to pee. Then I pull on my sneakers and grab my keys and cell phone and walk out the front door before I'm really even awake. By the time I get about 100 yards from my apartment, my eyes are all the way open. I look for the penny stuck in the cement of someone's driveway, and the leaf imprints in another. I turn the corner onto Renette and look for the calico cat that hides in the bushes there in the morning, and the old lady that waters her roses every other morning but won't make eye contact with me.
I stop briefly to smell the oleander bushes and cross Orange St. I pass an apartment complex I almost rented from a few years back, and I wonder about whether renting that apartment would have changed my life much.
At about this time, my cell phone/back-up alarm goes off with the sound of birds chirping. Often I don't notice it right away because there are birds chirping all around me. Mocking birds, scrub jays, morning doves and crows. I walk a few blocks, passing the house with a rather odd story.
One morning I was walking and saw a man sitting on the curb outside this house. As I approach he straightens up and says, "Jenny?" I said no, I wasn't Jenny but he kept staring at my face. "I had a dream she was coming back to me, that I should go outside and wait for her. Then I saw you, and you have no idea how much you look like her. Up close I can see your eyes are different, but the way you move .................... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I think of that man everytime I pass his house and wonder who Jenny is and why she's gone. Is she an ex-lover that dumped him? A daughter that's missing? A sister that died young?
Then I cross the street over to the park. That park is the earliest memory I have. I remember being two years old and thinking that lawn was the biggest place I'd ever seen. I reflect on the irony that I now circle it every morning. In the next twenty years, what seemingly huge thing will I take in stride without thought?
After all that deep thought, it's necesary to clear my head. I walk up the wheel chair ramp to the top of the playground jungle gym and go down the big slide. Sometimes I'll take the smaller slide, if it looks lonely. I continue around the park, smiling and nodding at the maintence guy cleaning the Rec. Center. I take a quick peak into a room I used to take a dance class in, and remember how free it felt to do tour jete leaps across that room. Then around the corner of park, jogging for a bit, if my knees feel up to it. Then home the way I came, on the other side of the street. I pass a house with an aviary in the yard that I can't see, just hear. Then I pass a little driveway that leads to four houses that all face each other. I call it Windchime Alley, because all four houses seem obsessed with windchimes on their porches, and when the breeze sweeps through, it's coaxes lovely music from them.
Then home, looking forward to my shower.


Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Am I the only one that actually really liked the swan dress?

Which Rock Chick Are You?


They're studying us.
Go talk about your blog.


Lily Octavia Luna
Not to dis-honor Sheldon's memory by replacing him so quickly, but hermit crabs hate to be alone. When Sheldon died, I found Fritz poking his shell gently, as if to wake him. Fritz in particular likes to be near other crabs, so I bought the beautiful and lovely Miss Lily Octavia Luna. Or Miss LOL for you MSN people.
She made herself right at home, slipping out of her ball gown type pearly white shell, into a sleek antique gold shell. She's a very girly girl, reminds me of a 30's pin-up.


Maggie!
Fellow Pet Lover Coworker gave me a beautiful new coffeemaker/electric tea kettle thing. It's big and fat and reminds me of a fat mother hen holding the coffee and tea pots like little chicks.
I've named her Maggie. Since I haven't bought an extension cord yet, unfortuantely the only place I can both plug her in and use her is under my desk. Which really confuses people, when they walk in the lobby and it seems to be empty, then I pop up and they say, "What were you doing?" and I say, "I was under my desk, making a cup of tea."


Note to all who wanna share their faith.
Sunday morning I was on my way to church and stopped for a cup of coffee at the 7-11 on the corner. Shut up, it's cheap coffee. And as Luke pointed out, I have no taste.
I always chat with the usual guy behind the counter, and I mentioned I was on my way to church. He told me all his life he'd been raised as a Catholic. He lowered his voice and leaned across the counter and said, "I don't want to say it like I'm bragging, but I ALWAYS tithed, you know." He always considered himself a devoted member of the church. He said he'd had some personal issues recently, and had wanted counseling. He'd gone the church and recieved a flat "no". I wish I could describe the pain in his eyes as he told me. He looked like in the moment he believed God had turned his back on him.
But then his whole face changed and he said, "Then two Jehovah's Witnesses CAME TO MY DOOR." He was so floored that someone would take the time to come to him, and talk to him and help him figure out answers to what he was dealing with. He said so proudly, "I'm a Jehovah's Witness now."
He didn't care so much who was 'right', the Jehovah's Witness or the Catholics. He cared about who CARED.


Is this story sounding familiar?

1 Corinthians 1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

That's what attracts people, love. Not catchy slogans on t-shirts, bumper stickers or church signs. Not a big building, or a theological degree.

John 13:35
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."



Quote of the Day
"I only deliver love letters." - VERY Tall Coworker (when asked he would take a package to the guy in the office next to him)


Monday, June 20, 2005
I like Ike.
He's even better LIVE.

I drove up to LA on Sat morning, to meet my blend (blog friend) Ike. He was taller than I expected. See, all the pictures posted on his blog were taken by people roughly his own height, so I expected to be able to look him in the eye, not lick him on the nipple.

So below are the pics from our Sat together.
I drove up to LA, and he and his roomie Jer and I all went to pick out a bird. Then we had lunch at Chuck E. Cheese's. Then we drove down to San Diego and met up with Torr and Jenny.

And yes, Ike is even more lovable in person.



Ike and I, picking out his new bird, which named VJ-Rez. Posted by Hello



We set up a cute litte house for VJ-Rez. Posted by Hello



VJ-Rez likes his new home. Posted by Hello



When I discovered that Ike had never been to Chuck E. Cheese, I had to fix that right away. Posted by Hello



A lovely view of Ike's cute butt. Posted by Hello



Ike, before we told him that all our tickets would only buy us two cochroach rings, on candy bracelet and a pack of smarties. Posted by Hello



Me, not keeping my eyes on the road. Posted by Hello



Jer, pretending to sleep, listening to our plans. Posted by Hello



Good afternoon, [server manufacturer], this is Valancy Jane, how can I help you? Posted by Hello



Jer likes chocolate. Posted by Hello



Good thing the company gives me an allowance for chocolate. Posted by Hello



This is where I write my blog. Posted by Hello



Here in the Lobby, we endorse naptime. Posted by Hello



Ike wants a memento from the Lobby. Posted by Hello



 Posted by Hello



 Posted by Hello



Ike, you're my favorite klepto. Posted by Hello



Ike, trying to take my job. Posted by Hello



Like a lamb to the slaughter. Me about to get a haircut from a thirteen year old girl. Posted by Hello



Pretty Torr. Posted by Hello



While I was getting my hair cut, Torr and Jenny played around on the guitar. Posted by Hello



I'm a little bummed I shot down the mohawk idea. That would have been interesting. Posted by Hello



Me, getting VJ hair all over Ike, who secretly loved it, regardless of what he says. Posted by Hello