And they say celebrity gossip is mindless and useless information.

Everything I know about geography, I learned from reading about Angelina Jolie's adoptions.

ANTM was on last night. I tried so hard not to be excited. I tried so hard not to care.

But what can I say? I love it.

Mostly because watching girls with good attitudes do well, and girls who bitch and make enemies and whine have it eventually come around to bit them in the ass, it reminds me that even in what is considered a shallow, looks-based industry, attitude matters.
And as a girl who is wondering what on earth she is going to do with her life, and often thinks she has nothing but a good attitude, it's empowering to see that.
If it can do so much in the modeling world, what can it do in my life?

And also, because I love the crazy. I'm a connoisseur of the crazy. I swirl it gently, then savor it, swishing it against all the different taste buds of my mind.
And America's Next Top Model has some of the purest and rarest brands of crazy. Starting with, but certainly never limited to, the host.


Oh, Tyra's crazy. She knows her stuff when it comes to the fashion world, and I think her expertise and eye for talent are suberb. If I was looking to enter a field, I would love to have a mentor as knowledgeable and honest and warm. But also, she CRAZY.

Also, and maybe this is part of what made her so good as a model, everything she says ends up sounding like, "ME. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" On the show all her personal experience stories sound relate-able and helpful. On the Tyra Banks Show, you get the impression that all her guests are thinking, "Why am I even here?"
Still, you gotta giggle when the model's house is decorated with giant pictures of Tyra. Of course, if I had my own show, I'd prolly do the same thing. BECAUSE I CAN.

And last night was a great example. She comes into view yelling and bouncing and steppin'. No seriously. Steppin'. (I'm sorry, I know it's an "old and prestigious dance form," but all I can think of when I see it is the preview for that movie Stomp the Yard, in which the most ridiculous line of dialog EVER was uttered. "I don't step. I battle." I can't even type that without giggling.) The general effect Tyra's grand entrance was an explosion of crazy so delicious, I had to call Nick, who was off riding his bike and trying to miss the whole show.

And then of course there are the contestants. Natasha who is so carefully sidestepping the words "mail-order bride," Jaslene who's tongue spends more time out of her mouth than in, lolling around in various directions, usually upwards, and Renee and Sarah, who both look so sweet, yet just really need to square off in a cage match. To the death. Winner eats (then promptly pukes) the losers eyeballs. And again, Jaslene, who portrayed an executioner just a little too easily.
There's some serious crazy lurking under the surface there.

This is gonna be good. My mouth is practically watering as the prospect.
So. Much. Crazy.

Why didn't y'all tell me?

Cops rocks!

The show, Cops, it's the best show ever!
I never knew that!
I'd never watched it before.

But sweet Jesus, it's the best thing ever!
And that's not blasphemy, I genuinely think Jesus must have had something to do with the creation of this show.

There is only one thing I don't understand.
How come none of these wonderful crazies have spin-offs?

I would PAY to see more of "Steven," that retarded drag queen* who steals balloons.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find if anyone sells the seasons collections.
*shakes head* Who knew there was so much delightful crazy all in one place!



*I'm not implying there is any connection between being a drag queen and being mentally disabled. Steven just happened to be both. Also, I'm not suggesting either of these things are connected to him being a balloon thief. He just happened to be that too.

About the Beauty and the Geek finale last night.

I think Nate summed it up pretty well, when he said (after campaigning successfully for his team to lose), "It's probably a good thing that Cecile didn't win, it's better for the world."

Happy Valentines Day to my True Love, The Internet.

Tonight, I will go home, pour myself a glass of wine, kiss the most wonderful man in the world, have a candlelit carpet picnic, watch the season finale of Beauty and the Geek and reflect on my unbelievable good luck.

May you all feel so lucky in your life as I do in mine.

In six months, I wil despise myself for this.

I've officially decided that Nate and Jennylee (from Beauty and the Geek) are the cutest thing ever. I mean, I'm sure they've broken up already and all, but whatever. They're cute as hell.
And when Nate "jumped out a window"* to say goodbye to her after her team was eliminated, I let out an audible "awwwww."

(*I'm sure the producer had something to do with it, it was good tv.)

How much do I like them?

(I can't believe I a). did this and b). am telling the internet about it.)

I added them as myspace friends.

Yeah. I know. I suck.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a game to play.

Guilty Pleasure

As I might have mentioned, I watch Beauty and the Geek. I try to pretend that I just happen to be home every Weds night, but it's no accident. I even make sure the TV is on the right channel long before, so that I don't have to obviously switch over to watch it, it's just 'what's on next.' It's a very elaborate deception, aimed mostly at myself. My life has begun to revolve around a TV show. I have become what I despise.

But anyhooooo, lost ideals, hating myself, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
Did anyone else see it last night?

I was very sad to see Mario and Nadia leave.

I thought Mario was sweet. Remember the challenge where they had to sketch a nude model, but afterwards they found out the real challenge was to remember what the model had talked about and Mario was the only one of the geeks who even remembered her name?
Mario seemed like the most genuinely nice guy in the group. And I thought his strategy for getting phone numbers in that other challenge was brilliant. (He just flat out told women that he was gathering numbers to prove to himself that he could, to build his self-confidence. It came out much less creepy and forced than the other guys, who were trying to turn small talk into numbers as fast as possible and looking around constantly while they were at it. Women were happy to give him the boost, without fear that he'd actually CALL them. Which might not be great in the outside world, but for the game it worked very well.)
And Nadia was the most tolerable of the blonds, she didn't seem to be laboring under the delusion that dumb was sexy. While she didn't seem to be the most scheming or ambitious, she did appear to take the studying the most seriously. And while she and Mario seemed to have almost nothing in common, they were both very supportive of each other, and brought out the best in each other.


But the consolation from the elimination round between Mario/Nadia and Niels/Jennylee is that Jennylee is still around to make out with Nate and have them both labor under the delusion that the viewers haven't seen them.
The footage ran as follows. JennyLee was hugging on Nate (and Nate finally seems to be cluing into the fact that Jennylee wants to jump him) and subtitles appear on the bottom of the screen as in a whisper Jennylee spells it out to Nate WHY she wants him to promise to come visit her after the show has ended. Nate whispers back that there's something he wants to do but probably shouldn't.
The footage cuts to Nate and Jennylee sitting on a staircase in another part of the house, where they no doubt think they are alone. The camera is filming in night vision, through a window, from outside the house. They alternate making out with looking around guiltily.

The next morning Nate catches himself mid sentence.

"Yes, I'm very happy Jennylee wasn't eliminated. I would be sad if she wasn't here in the morning to wake me up ........ with a hug. Uh, we've become ..... good friends."

And while I think Jennylee likes Nate, and Nate likes the idea that he can make out with a hot blond, I think it was equally meaningful to both of them. So, you know, go them!
But remember the moral of the story, it's a reality show. Do whatever you like, just don't make the mistake of thinking it's not on camera.

But I do think somebody should clue in Jennylee's partner, Niels. Not that I think he'd care much, rather he'd finally figure out why Jennylee hit the roof (and I do mean hit the roof) and still hasn't forgiven him since he suggested (quite shrewdly) that they send Nate and Cecille to the elimination room. I'm sure Cecille is too busy wondering why her inner monologue seems to echo, to do more than fly into another drunken rage like she did at Niels when she got back from the elimination round. Sorry, I know it's prejudice on my part, but I just can't take anyone who looks (and acts) that much like Anna Nicole seriously.

Did Anyone Watch Beauty And The Geek Last Night?

What the heck happened to Nate after his makeover?

He looked lost, and suddenly he had a lisp. I'm mean, it's cool if he likes his new look, which he seemed too, and he did look very handsome. Whether or not it was an improvement over his old look is a matter of opinion.

But after the makeover, he seemed to be acting so different. Quieter, subdued, dare I say it, boring? Normal?
Did he keep his personality in that beard?





Maybe he just needs time to settle into his new look, figure out how to rock it. I hope so. Otherwise that makeover was a bust.

America's Next Top Model - British Invasion

I like the British version for three reasons.
One, the right girl won. Lucy was so cute!!


Two, watching it has completely altered my voice. I can't stop speaking in a British accent. I think in a British accent. Or rather as Jonny says, it's cured me of my American accent. He staunchly maintains that there is no such thing as a British accent, thats how people are supposed to sound. And he might be correct, because it feels so right.

Thirdly, they showed the entire competition in a two hour special, not spread out over weeks. No torturous waiting, it's all instant gratification. I'm all about instant gratification.


While watching it last night, I finally realized why I enjoy watching the Next Top Model shows. When I watch some of the girls fight and self-sabotage and throw hissy-fits, and are eliminated from the show for it, I am reminded again that even in what is considered a shallow industry, ATTITUDE MATTERS. And I find that very empowering.