Sarah Smile - "Hey, you wanna join Nick and I and some of his coworkers for drinks after work at On The Border?"
Coworker M - "Sounds great, actually, but [Coworker J] and I just started a new diet."
Sarah Smile - "Oh. You don't think there's something there you could eat?"
Coworker M - "Well, no, see, the diet is just for ten days we don't eat anything and only drink lemonade."
Sarah Smile - "Damn."
Coworker M - "Yeah."
Sarah Smile - "Do you know what kind of a person I'd be if I hadn't eaten in ten days? I'd be answering the phone with, 'I hate you, you fuckwad, I hope you die. Painfully. And then I'll eat you.'"
Coworker M - "I'm getting there."
Sarah Smile - "What day are you on?"
Coworker M - "Day one."
Coworker M - "Sounds great, actually, but [Coworker J] and I just started a new diet."
Sarah Smile - "Oh. You don't think there's something there you could eat?"
Coworker M - "Well, no, see, the diet is just for ten days we don't eat anything and only drink lemonade."
Sarah Smile - "Damn."
Coworker M - "Yeah."
Sarah Smile - "Do you know what kind of a person I'd be if I hadn't eaten in ten days? I'd be answering the phone with, 'I hate you, you fuckwad, I hope you die. Painfully. And then I'll eat you.'"
Coworker M - "I'm getting there."
Sarah Smile - "What day are you on?"
Coworker M - "Day one."
Labels: actual conversations, coworker J, coworker M, food
4 Comments:
That sounds frightening. Guess they could have a Mike's Hard Lemonade....
I tried that diet once. It's actually not technically a diet, it's a "cleanse" but it requires you to drink lots of green tea to help you poop. Yuck.
Anyways, I lasted three days. When my kids ran away from home and my husband served me with divorce papers I decided to stop. I immediately reached for, and ate five whole loaves of bread. All was better!
Colsy - Booze on an empty stomach? That would have been interesting.
Norma, dear, why would DO something like that to yourself? Glad to hear it's over now.
Ok don't laugh, but a group of friends (older ladies) were doing it. It's a yearly ritual for them. For health reasons. And it sounded like fun.
Actually, go ahead and laugh. I don't even remember what part of it sounded FUN. Lord help me!
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