Someday, I'll start my own greeting card company. For reals, yo. But for now, you can steal my ideas.

'Rez and I spent most of yesterday afternoon making Valentines Day cards. Here are some of the best that I made for Nick, with a printer, crayons, glitter and glue. All of which I had at my desk. Of course.

** Warning, these are not so much for the kiddies **

(inside)

The coroner had a hard time explaining to the parents of the newlyweds exactly what erotic asphyxiation was.



















(on the front)

Stars in their eyes....

(inside)

.... crap in their pants.







(on the front)

"Soooo..."
"Yeah, good job with the stain."

(inside)

"If they found out we had sex here, we'd lose this housesitting job for sure."










(inside)
She's part girl,
She's part boy,
She's got parts
everyone can enjoy.






















(inside)

May you always be around to reach the top shelf, which I can't.*






















(on the front)

"Fine. I can admit it."

(inside)

"Jalepeno personal lubricant was NOT a good idea. I get that now. It'll never happen again."
"Damn straight."





*stolen from 'Rezzie.