"Awwwww. Also, NO. But awwwwwwwww."

That's the gist of my response to several men. Let me explain.

About a year ago, I had responded to a request from a friend, and made a profile on www.hi5.com. I uploaded one (very old and very flattering) picture, the fact that I was single (at the time) and then I completely forgot about it.

Today I got an email update from the site and wandered over to it to find that I had a whole bunch of messages. A few of the obligatory "check out my webcam over on this other site" (ew) but mostly stuff like the following.
Badly spelled (foreign?), slightly terrifying, yet very complimentary.

• "I was just browsing this site and fell in love with you"

• "I checked your profile and i think we have a lot in common, and we may become good friends only if you allow me." (He also included his phone number, so he's SO getting prank called. In fact, anybody else wanna call too? Email me and I'll give you the number.)
  

• "hi valancyh r u? well nice too meet u girl well waht to say i saw ur profil u look prety all i cna say and ur cute and also u do have a lovley baby face lol"

• "Very attractive!! ..Quick hello Miguel"

• "Well Valancy my name is Enrique and well like to go out with you."

• "Hey, How r u doing? I'm writing you because from your profile you seem to be someone that I could connect with. You look very beautiful in your pictures. I looking for someone like yourself who is fun and at the same time very chill. I think that we could be great friends, maybe more????? ~Joe"

• "hey sup beautiful, i am lee and looking at ur pro and u r really attractice and i luv ur eye's. and hey when some one is cute and gorgeous like u then i would like to ask if i can talk to u or u would mail me back. this is my mail and i hope to hear from u so perhaps , i can tak eu out. so i will pray to hear from u and take care bey bye"

• "HELLO.I WANT TO MEET WITH YOU..WHAT DO YOU SAY"

There is nothing better than a compliment that also makes me laugh. They're all very nice in a "thank god they don't know where I live" sort of way.