Jonny told me that 26 is the year you gain sophistication, but I think sophistication is like big feet. If you're gonna grow into it, there is generally some sign of it from the beginning.
So I doubt it, unless by 'sophistication' he means really good at coloring. I hope so, since I can actually see that happen.
The other night Nick and I were watching tv and suddenly it hit me.
"Holy fuck."
"What?"
"I'm gonna be 26."
"Yeah. This is news?"
"No, I knew that, but it just occurred to me that I'll be in the second half of my twenties."
"Yeah. Your math is correct."
"I just hadn't added it up quite like that yet."
So ........... when do I start to feel like a grown-up? I mean, I get little bits of it, when I think about my 401k, or how often I'm the designated driver, or when my houseplants don't die. But mostly I think about myspace layouts and road trips and my cute boyfriend and ohmygod, you know what 'Rezzie said on her blog today?
The funny thing is that I can picture myself at 50, 60, 70, 101 years old.
But I have no picture in my head of myself at thirty.
It's like when I was a little girl, I could picture myself looking older, but never taller, so in my imagination I was this midget grownup. Come to think of it, I wasn't that far off.
So here I am at 26 and I have vision of being a really fun old lady, with a few mysterious scars and stories that people would doubt the validity of if anyone but me told them.
But the road between me and that version of myself is a blank.
I have no idea how to get there from here. It's like driving into a fog.
Maybe I'll be like a friend of Bunny's. This friend was in her 90's and full of energy and life.
She told everyone, "You're only as old as you feel."
Then one day she called a friend at the front desk of the senior center where she volunteered. "I feel old today," she said.
Instantly concerned the friend asked, "Are you alright? Did you fall? Are you sick?"
She still sounded very upbeat as she replied with resignation in her voice,"No, nothing like that. It's just that my son turned 70 years old today. And nobody with a son in their seventies is young, I don't care how you look at it."
So maybe it'll come to me in a moment, something will happen and all of a sudden, I'll feel like a big girl now. Or maybe it'll creep up on me, and I'll only see it in hindsight.
Maybe that's what this year will bring.
So I doubt it, unless by 'sophistication' he means really good at coloring. I hope so, since I can actually see that happen.
The other night Nick and I were watching tv and suddenly it hit me."Holy fuck."
"What?"
"I'm gonna be 26."
"Yeah. This is news?"
"No, I knew that, but it just occurred to me that I'll be in the second half of my twenties."
"Yeah. Your math is correct."
"I just hadn't added it up quite like that yet."
So ........... when do I start to feel like a grown-up? I mean, I get little bits of it, when I think about my 401k, or how often I'm the designated driver, or when my houseplants don't die. But mostly I think about myspace layouts and road trips and my cute boyfriend and ohmygod, you know what 'Rezzie said on her blog today?
The funny thing is that I can picture myself at 50, 60, 70, 101 years old.
But I have no picture in my head of myself at thirty.
It's like when I was a little girl, I could picture myself looking older, but never taller, so in my imagination I was this midget grownup. Come to think of it, I wasn't that far off.
So here I am at 26 and I have vision of being a really fun old lady, with a few mysterious scars and stories that people would doubt the validity of if anyone but me told them.
But the road between me and that version of myself is a blank.
I have no idea how to get there from here. It's like driving into a fog.
Maybe I'll be like a friend of Bunny's. This friend was in her 90's and full of energy and life.
She told everyone, "You're only as old as you feel."
Then one day she called a friend at the front desk of the senior center where she volunteered. "I feel old today," she said.
Instantly concerned the friend asked, "Are you alright? Did you fall? Are you sick?"
She still sounded very upbeat as she replied with resignation in her voice,"No, nothing like that. It's just that my son turned 70 years old today. And nobody with a son in their seventies is young, I don't care how you look at it."
So maybe it'll come to me in a moment, something will happen and all of a sudden, I'll feel like a big girl now. Or maybe it'll creep up on me, and I'll only see it in hindsight.
Maybe that's what this year will bring.
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