Part One here.
I will tell them that to ask for change from a merchant is called, "laundering drug money" and send 'em into a grocery store with a twenty.
I will tell them that my wedding ring is called an STD and that Daddy gave it to me right before the wedding.
I will tell them that "to overdose" means "to nap" and that if anyone calls to let them know I'm in bed.
I will teach them that family game night is called "ritual goat sacrifice" and that they'd better not be late.
I will teach them that vitamins are called "maggots" and that not only do we take two in the morning, they're in all our food.
I will tell them that tissues are called "tampons" and that if they ever see a woman crying, to tell her they could tell she needs one.
I will tell them that to ask for change from a merchant is called, "laundering drug money" and send 'em into a grocery store with a twenty.
I will tell them that my wedding ring is called an STD and that Daddy gave it to me right before the wedding.
I will tell them that "to overdose" means "to nap" and that if anyone calls to let them know I'm in bed.
I will teach them that family game night is called "ritual goat sacrifice" and that they'd better not be late.
I will teach them that vitamins are called "maggots" and that not only do we take two in the morning, they're in all our food.
I will tell them that tissues are called "tampons" and that if they ever see a woman crying, to tell her they could tell she needs one.
Labels: being annoying, children, shaping today's youth
4 Comments:
You're kids are going to attract some very strange friends.
Some might be gamers.
Sweet.
this sounds eerily similar to what my friend and i planned on doing when we had kids... though, i wanted to make a house where when you hit the garage door opener, the whole front of the house lifted up while the garage door stood still...
That would definitely be a show.
I must have one.
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