Merry This

The sun is setting outside the lobby, and I'm sitting in the half light.
People always tell me that when I sit like this, the light from the monitor makes me look like I'm glowing.
And tonight, I feel that way.

I'm thinking about my Gramie Dude. This is her favorite day of the year.
Six years ago today I was in Albuquerque for her Solstice party and met many of her favorite people, which prompted me a month later when she asked what of hers I would like her to leave me in her will to respond, "Your friends."

I'm listening to the Damnwells sing, "Xmas Eve."

They say the sky is never the exact same color as any other day, but right now I swear it looks exactly like the sunset on a very different, very warm day at the beach, when I walked in the surf with a very silly boy who wanted to kiss me, but never did. I pull that memory out and wear it like a film over my eyes whenever I feel less than attractive.

I leave in a little way for My Nick's company holiday party. And just watch me, I'll leave that party with the cutest boy there. Just watch.

And I know that in a very real way, it all gets lighter, it all gets better from here. Just watch.