I have this coworker. Maybe you know someone like her.
She will occasionally come to my desk and ask me a question. After I answer (slowly, politely, clearly), she just stares at me, annoyed, then asks the same question again.
Like she's haggling for a better answer.
As if I can change reality for her.
It's the same pretty much every time. And this is not an exaggeration.
Her - "Has this package come yet?" *hands me an order slip*
Me - "No, not yet."
Her - "So. This package hasn't come yet?"
Me - "No. It hasn't come yet. The postman hasn't come."
Her - "Ok but they said this package is gonna be delivered here."
Me - "Well, as soon as it comes, I'll call you, like I always do."
Her - "You haven't seen it yet?"
Me - "I have nothing here for you. I have nothing here for anyone. I clear my desk of any and all mail every single morning. Nothing has come in. I haven't seen it. I will call you when it comes."
Her - "Ok well, I checked with Receiving and they said it would be delivered here."
Me - "Yes. I imagine it will be. And I'll call you when it comes."
Her - *shakes head angrily and flounces off*
Since it appears to not matter what I say to her, from now on I will only answer a question once. After that, I shall stick my hand in a swag candy bowl I got, and pull out a slip of paper and deliver one of the following lines.
"I like paint."
"Seen any good music videos lately?"
"Wanna bite of my flowers?"
"I know, right? So I told him not to call me anymore. Seriously."
"You know you can buy your cat a college degree online, right?"
Any other suggestions?
She will occasionally come to my desk and ask me a question. After I answer (slowly, politely, clearly), she just stares at me, annoyed, then asks the same question again.
Like she's haggling for a better answer.
As if I can change reality for her.
It's the same pretty much every time. And this is not an exaggeration.
Her - "Has this package come yet?" *hands me an order slip*
Me - "No, not yet."
Her - "So. This package hasn't come yet?"
Me - "No. It hasn't come yet. The postman hasn't come."
Her - "Ok but they said this package is gonna be delivered here."
Me - "Well, as soon as it comes, I'll call you, like I always do."
Her - "You haven't seen it yet?"
Me - "I have nothing here for you. I have nothing here for anyone. I clear my desk of any and all mail every single morning. Nothing has come in. I haven't seen it. I will call you when it comes."
Her - "Ok well, I checked with Receiving and they said it would be delivered here."
Me - "Yes. I imagine it will be. And I'll call you when it comes."
Her - *shakes head angrily and flounces off*
Since it appears to not matter what I say to her, from now on I will only answer a question once. After that, I shall stick my hand in a swag candy bowl I got, and pull out a slip of paper and deliver one of the following lines.
"I like paint."
"Seen any good music videos lately?"
"Wanna bite of my flowers?"
"I know, right? So I told him not to call me anymore. Seriously."
"You know you can buy your cat a college degree online, right?"
Any other suggestions?
7 Comments:
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CANDY JAR!!! ME WANT!
"Don't...... step there."
"According to the prophecy, I don't know."
"If you ask me again, I may turn into a rabbit. Careful. It's happened before and I really don't have the time to track down that wiccan priestess again."
"No. Yes. No. Yes. N-n-no. Ye-e-e-e-es. *shakes head* Sorry. Sometimes I get stuck."
"ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?!???!?!!?!"
"SHHHHHHHHHHH! They'll hear you. *paranoid glances all around*"
"By the way, I wouldn't drink that if I were you. *pointing to the desk*"
Perfect. I love you, 'Rezziekins.
And Colsy, the jar is just an old plastic one, I added the slips of paper.
"the gestational period of an elephant is 22 months, but the same period for a gerbil is only 25 days. discuss."
"are you ham, or eggs?"
Turn head one way "Step up to red alert!" Turn head other way "Are you sure? It does mean changing the lightbulb!"
I love each and every suggestion, they're totally going in the jar!
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