1. What are you?
Aren't we like 70% water? Or was the earth? Either way, it's no wonder I have to pee so often.
2. Does the human race have a future?
Yes. But not in acting.
3. What thing that you don't understand the most would you most like to understand the most?
Apostrophes.
4. Do you think it's fair that some birds of prey eat iguanas?
I try not to think about it at all.
5. Do you trust mirrors?
To varying degrees, that are directly proportional to how flattering they are.
6. Do you sometimes deliberately not the answer the phone to give the impression you're busier or more socially adept than you actually are?
No, I just ignore the phone because I've been a slave to one all day at work and I'm all out of chatty niceyness.
7. Have you ever thought seriously about disappearing in the middle of the night, leaving no clue to where you might have gone, and starting a new life for yourself thousands of miles away?
When I was 18 or 19. I did practically that too, but eventually I came back.
8. When was the last time you basked in that wonderful sense of calm and serenity you get whenever a television is turned off?
Pretty much all the time, but I don't have anything against tv.
9. Do yreguarlyrly eat in bed, or are you opposed to that sort behaviour?
I'm very pro that sort behaviour, in theory at least. In reality, only some foods are good for that sort of thing.
10. What would you do if you woke up and there was a slug on your face?
If I didn't manage to DIE in that very instant, on purpose, to avoid the reality I'd been confronted with, I'd prolly yank it off lightning fast, then spend the next two days huddled in the shower, shuddering in disgust.
11. Do you believe that it would be easier to be a member of the opposite sex?
Goodness no. If you don't have breasts, how do you get people do to anything?
12. Have you ever slept in a field? (Being in a tent does not count).
Yes. It was as lovely and magical as something can be when you're freezing to death.
13. Can you move your mouth without touching your lips?
*looks skeptical* This sounds like one of those trick questions a guy in a bar would ask you so that you would somehow be tricked into making out with him.
14. What's the one thing that you can't do but most wish you could?
Fly.
15. What if God was one of us?
I think God is more human than some people I know.
16. Is it easier for you to say what you mean than to mean what you say?
It's easier to say what I mean, because I only have to mean it while I'm saying it. To mean what you say implies a commitment to continue to mean what you said.
17. Who did you vote for in the last election: Pepsi or Coke?
I don't think it's womanly to have an opinion on this subject.
18. Do you believe that alien lifeforms frequently visit this planet and abduct people for nefarious purposes?
No, I think they do it simply for amusement. Like us with reality tv.
19. Have you ever pretended to laugh at a joke you actually found really offensive?
No, possibly because people tend to know better than to tell offensive jokes in front of me.
20. Do you think you're special?
Slightly more special than Paris Hilton, slightly less special than Gwyneth Paltrow.
Aren't we like 70% water? Or was the earth? Either way, it's no wonder I have to pee so often.
2. Does the human race have a future?
Yes. But not in acting.
3. What thing that you don't understand the most would you most like to understand the most?
Apostrophes.
4. Do you think it's fair that some birds of prey eat iguanas?
I try not to think about it at all.
5. Do you trust mirrors?
To varying degrees, that are directly proportional to how flattering they are.
6. Do you sometimes deliberately not the answer the phone to give the impression you're busier or more socially adept than you actually are?
No, I just ignore the phone because I've been a slave to one all day at work and I'm all out of chatty niceyness.
7. Have you ever thought seriously about disappearing in the middle of the night, leaving no clue to where you might have gone, and starting a new life for yourself thousands of miles away?
When I was 18 or 19. I did practically that too, but eventually I came back.
8. When was the last time you basked in that wonderful sense of calm and serenity you get whenever a television is turned off?
Pretty much all the time, but I don't have anything against tv.
9. Do yreguarlyrly eat in bed, or are you opposed to that sort behaviour?
I'm very pro that sort behaviour, in theory at least. In reality, only some foods are good for that sort of thing.
10. What would you do if you woke up and there was a slug on your face?
If I didn't manage to DIE in that very instant, on purpose, to avoid the reality I'd been confronted with, I'd prolly yank it off lightning fast, then spend the next two days huddled in the shower, shuddering in disgust.
11. Do you believe that it would be easier to be a member of the opposite sex?
Goodness no. If you don't have breasts, how do you get people do to anything?
12. Have you ever slept in a field? (Being in a tent does not count).
Yes. It was as lovely and magical as something can be when you're freezing to death.
13. Can you move your mouth without touching your lips?
*looks skeptical* This sounds like one of those trick questions a guy in a bar would ask you so that you would somehow be tricked into making out with him.
14. What's the one thing that you can't do but most wish you could?
Fly.
15. What if God was one of us?
I think God is more human than some people I know.
16. Is it easier for you to say what you mean than to mean what you say?
It's easier to say what I mean, because I only have to mean it while I'm saying it. To mean what you say implies a commitment to continue to mean what you said.
17. Who did you vote for in the last election: Pepsi or Coke?
I don't think it's womanly to have an opinion on this subject.
18. Do you believe that alien lifeforms frequently visit this planet and abduct people for nefarious purposes?
No, I think they do it simply for amusement. Like us with reality tv.
19. Have you ever pretended to laugh at a joke you actually found really offensive?
No, possibly because people tend to know better than to tell offensive jokes in front of me.
20. Do you think you're special?
Slightly more special than Paris Hilton, slightly less special than Gwyneth Paltrow.
1 Comments:
I feel a mixture of pride and dread about the fact that "Jonny-ish" is fast becoming an adjective that might very soon appear in actual dictionaries.
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