I've had two run - in with military recruiters in my life.
I.e, the pushiest humans alive.
And while I have every kind of respect for our armed services, and am well aware of the benefits the military offers, well ......... just picture me in the military for a few minutes and TRY not to giggle.
The first time, I was at friends house when he started in on me. I simply started ripping apart a magazine and collaging random body parts together while nodding and giving him a serious case of the crazy eyes.
After a half hour of this, he actually backed off and said, "You know, the military might not be right for you," which is, by my unofficial poll, the first time I recruiter has said that EVER.
The second time I was in line at some fast food place, waiting for my food. The guy in front of me was in uniform, and the pins on his chest caught my eye.
Turns out he was a recruiter.
He turned to me and said, "Like these? We could get you a whole chestfull if you wanna enlist."
I said, "Sir, I hope this doesn't offend you, because I understand that to you each of those pins means something, about patriotism and loyalty and bravery and sharpshooting, but when I look at them, the only thought that enters my mind is 'ooooooooooo, shiny'."
He was quiet for a minute, then just as my food came, he said, "We'd have you married, inside of six months."
Oh yeah. He really said that.
I said very calmly and primly, "Sir, whatever goals I may or may not have, I am quite capable of accomplishing on my own, without the aid of khaki or an advantageous male to female ratio, thankyouverymuch."
I wanted to kick him in the nuts, but I was afraid that he might take that as a positive sign about my readiness for battle.
I.e, the pushiest humans alive.
And while I have every kind of respect for our armed services, and am well aware of the benefits the military offers, well ......... just picture me in the military for a few minutes and TRY not to giggle.
The first time, I was at friends house when he started in on me. I simply started ripping apart a magazine and collaging random body parts together while nodding and giving him a serious case of the crazy eyes.
After a half hour of this, he actually backed off and said, "You know, the military might not be right for you," which is, by my unofficial poll, the first time I recruiter has said that EVER.
The second time I was in line at some fast food place, waiting for my food. The guy in front of me was in uniform, and the pins on his chest caught my eye.
Turns out he was a recruiter.
He turned to me and said, "Like these? We could get you a whole chestfull if you wanna enlist."
I said, "Sir, I hope this doesn't offend you, because I understand that to you each of those pins means something, about patriotism and loyalty and bravery and sharpshooting, but when I look at them, the only thought that enters my mind is 'ooooooooooo, shiny'."
He was quiet for a minute, then just as my food came, he said, "We'd have you married, inside of six months."
Oh yeah. He really said that.
I said very calmly and primly, "Sir, whatever goals I may or may not have, I am quite capable of accomplishing on my own, without the aid of khaki or an advantageous male to female ratio, thankyouverymuch."
I wanted to kick him in the nuts, but I was afraid that he might take that as a positive sign about my readiness for battle.
1 Comments:
*giggles*
I could never give that sharp of an answer.
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