Three if you count the Internet.
When I was four years old, my mother confided in me that my brother Jesse was getting Legos for Christmas, with strict instructions not to ruin the surprise. I nodded. I understood.
Later that afternoon my brother suggested we play with Legos. The most curious feeling hit me. I couldn't do anything but swallow repeatedly. I knew I shouldn't tell him. I knew it would ruin the surprise. I went into a cold sweat. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut. I lasted about 4 minutes.
"JesseMom'sgettingyouLegosforChristmas."
I swear, I couldn't help it.
I could not hold it in.
My brother nodded solemly.
I could hear my mother in the next room bang her head against the wall.
I felt like I had verbally wet myself.
But I just COULDN'T keep my mouth shut.
I never even tried to keep another secret from my brother.
But as I grew up, I viewed that as an isolated incident. I'm actually quite good with secrets.
Just think about my job. It's all lying and being discreet and appearing to be helpful while refusing to give out any info.
Last night I realized that I am absolutely incapable of keeping secrets from Nick too.
(This is where Lola starts to suspect that Nick now knows about the sweatshirt. And she's right. I'm sorry Lola. *hangs head* It was too great a force, I can't explain it. Don't worry, I haven't gone completely soft, I could still lie to YOU if I needed to. In fact Nick and I were going to keep his knowing a secret from you, but then I wanted to blog about it. So see? I'm still cool.)
Ok, so about two months ago Nick left his Favorite Sweatshirt, the one he was wearing the first time I laid eyes on him, over at Lola's. Someone else thought it was theirs and took it home, where when we tried to track it down, they said someone had taken it from them. We'd pretty much given up getting it back. I tried to find another one, but couldn't turn up the same color/brand/style/size.
Then, I get a call from Lola yesterday. The friend that had taken it found it.
We hatched a plan to surprise Nick.
Lola was gonna fill it's pockets with old keys, movie ticket stubs, etc, hang it on our doorknob with a note that says "Daddy, I've come home," knock, and run.
But when Nick picked me up at work, I didn't even make it out of the lobby before I caved.
It's pathetic.
When I was four years old, my mother confided in me that my brother Jesse was getting Legos for Christmas, with strict instructions not to ruin the surprise. I nodded. I understood.
Later that afternoon my brother suggested we play with Legos. The most curious feeling hit me. I couldn't do anything but swallow repeatedly. I knew I shouldn't tell him. I knew it would ruin the surprise. I went into a cold sweat. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut. I lasted about 4 minutes.
"JesseMom'sgettingyouLegosforChristmas."
I swear, I couldn't help it.
I could not hold it in.
My brother nodded solemly.
I could hear my mother in the next room bang her head against the wall.
I felt like I had verbally wet myself.
But I just COULDN'T keep my mouth shut.
I never even tried to keep another secret from my brother.
But as I grew up, I viewed that as an isolated incident. I'm actually quite good with secrets.
Just think about my job. It's all lying and being discreet and appearing to be helpful while refusing to give out any info.
Last night I realized that I am absolutely incapable of keeping secrets from Nick too.
(This is where Lola starts to suspect that Nick now knows about the sweatshirt. And she's right. I'm sorry Lola. *hangs head* It was too great a force, I can't explain it. Don't worry, I haven't gone completely soft, I could still lie to YOU if I needed to. In fact Nick and I were going to keep his knowing a secret from you, but then I wanted to blog about it. So see? I'm still cool.)
Ok, so about two months ago Nick left his Favorite Sweatshirt, the one he was wearing the first time I laid eyes on him, over at Lola's. Someone else thought it was theirs and took it home, where when we tried to track it down, they said someone had taken it from them. We'd pretty much given up getting it back. I tried to find another one, but couldn't turn up the same color/brand/style/size.
Then, I get a call from Lola yesterday. The friend that had taken it found it.
We hatched a plan to surprise Nick.
Lola was gonna fill it's pockets with old keys, movie ticket stubs, etc, hang it on our doorknob with a note that says "Daddy, I've come home," knock, and run.
But when Nick picked me up at work, I didn't even make it out of the lobby before I caved.
It's pathetic.
2 Comments:
you can keep secrets from me whenever you like
Awwww, thank you!
I don't though. What wouldn't I want to tell you?
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