It's A Love Story, Of Sorts.

I keep a scrapbook, full of mementos of happy times, old love letters, pictures, that sort of thing. I came across a train ticket the other night. It came from a time in my life that I can honestly describe as rock bottom. I'd just moved back to San Diego, with a boyfriend who quickly became an ex, after he threw me into a wall in a fit of jealous anger.
I gathered a few of my things and snuck my cat Maximus out of the apartment. My car had recently died. The job I'd lined up before I moved, well, it lasted a week before the manager had laid me off.
I called my brother and he said to come and he'd see what he could do for me. (Jesse never fails.)
Mau didn't care much for being stuffed in a backpack, but when I saw the bus coming I had to hide him. I plunked down in my seat.
Mau let out a plaintive cry. I let him out, worried that someone would rat me out to the bus driver. To the contrary, when I looked up, I met the eyes of everyone around me, and each one winked and smiled. When I had to put him back in the backpack at the train station, one nice toothless man coughed to cover Mau's indignation.
Mau was actually perfectly quiet as I bought my ticket, and fortunately the last train was leaving right away. I hopped on and tried to find a seat as private as possible.
I let Mau out to sit on the seat next to me.
When the conductor came by to check tickets, I threw my coat over him as quickly as possible. (I know, I know, poor Mau, now you know why I spoil him as much as possible) When I handed him my ticket, he frowned.
"Why didn't you have this validated?"
My eyes widened. And filled.
"Validated?"
"You were supposed to validate the ticket at at the machines at the station. There were signs all over them."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know, I didn't see them."
"I'm supposed to make you exit the train and buy another. There's a lot of fraud with these lately," he said doubtfully.
My eyes were brimming with tears, this was the last of my money, and the last train. If he threw me out at the next station, I'd be sleeping at it. With poor Mau.
The tears were about to run down my cheeks, but I didn't dare break eye contact because then he might notice Mau squirming under my coat.
Just when I thought for sure the tears would start rolling, he smiled. (It made a world of difference to his face.) He said, "It's ok. I'll just sign it here, so none of the other conductors down the line should bother you."
He walked on.
I wiped my eyes.

After that the train began to fill up. Two college guys sat down in the seats facing me. I smiled wanly, but didn't say a word, hoping they wouldn't rat me out. After a few minutes, one of them leaned in and said, "There's a conductor coming. Might wanna....," and gestured to Mau, who I covered again in the nick of time. (Incidentally, Mau does not enjoy peekaboo, this might be why.)

They left shortly after, and a well dressed older gentleman took their place. I pretended to be absorbed in my book, avoiding attention as best as possible, because I was certain that executive looking man would be a stickler for the rules.
When yet another conductor looked doubtful at the first conductor's signature, the man spoke up.
"We're together, sir. I was supposed to validate both our tickets, but I must have forgotten. So sorry, but you can see mine is validated, and we're riding together. " He looked at me. "Sorry dear."
The conductor nodded, and moved on.
The gentleman reached out.
"Would you like to switch tickets?"
I smiled as best I could and spoke around the solid knot of tears and fears that had been building in the back of my throat.
"Thank you, but the next stop is mine. I'll be alright."
He looked concerned.
"My brother is waiting for me."
He nodded, looking more at ease.
"I just forgot to validate it, really."
He nodded again.


My brother put me up in a hotel under his name, to throw off my ex if he tried to find me. Whether or not he did try to find me, I don't know. I stayed there as long as my brother could afford, and then Bunny took me in, and the rest is a tale of baby steps to a better life.
But I'll never forgot the strangers that surrounded me that one day.

See, when someone you love, and who professes to love you, hurts you in a fit of anger, the most damage isn't to your body. You start to doubt yourself, your instincts, and people as a whole.
So to find unexpected kindness that day, it healed a part of my heart, even before the bruises faded.