Why is it that when someone asks us personal questions, we feel guilty if we don't immediatly provide an answer? Even when we know it will only lead to more nosy questions?
Screw that, I say.
We're not obligated to give an answer for everything to everyone.
Life is too short to spend it justifying yourself to people who, if they needed to know, probably already would.
Of course we're not talking about your inner circle of friends, mostly because they prolly don't have to ask anyway.
So the next time an aquaintance asks you when you plan to have kids or why you didn't bring a date or what went wrong in your last relationship, remember that the following are all perfectly polite, acceptable answers.
"I'd rather not discuss that, I'm certain you understand."
"Why would you ask that?"
"I've already briefed everyone who needs to know."
"No comment."
"Why don't you ask that person directly?"
"I don't feel that's an appropriate question for me to answer."
"I don't feel that's an appropriate question for you to ask."
"I don't have an interesting answer to that question, so lets move on."
"Thats very personal."
"I appreciate your concern. How are YOU?"
If you don't want to answer a question, you don't have to.
Unless it's a judge or your best friend asking, it's as simple as that.
Screw that, I say.
We're not obligated to give an answer for everything to everyone.
Life is too short to spend it justifying yourself to people who, if they needed to know, probably already would.
Of course we're not talking about your inner circle of friends, mostly because they prolly don't have to ask anyway.
So the next time an aquaintance asks you when you plan to have kids or why you didn't bring a date or what went wrong in your last relationship, remember that the following are all perfectly polite, acceptable answers.
"I'd rather not discuss that, I'm certain you understand."
"Why would you ask that?"
"I've already briefed everyone who needs to know."
"No comment."
"Why don't you ask that person directly?"
"I don't feel that's an appropriate question for me to answer."
"I don't feel that's an appropriate question for you to ask."
"I don't have an interesting answer to that question, so lets move on."
"Thats very personal."
"I appreciate your concern. How are YOU?"
If you don't want to answer a question, you don't have to.
Unless it's a judge or your best friend asking, it's as simple as that.
3 Comments:
I couldn't agree more.
Sometimes a simple, "Why do you want to know?" can scare them enough to back off. One lady actually told me that she just wanted to gossip. I smiled and walked away.
I use that one too, Cols!
Usually, just smiling and saying anything to that effect is enough of a deterrent. It's just automatic, to be interested in peoples' lives. It's ok. But it's also ok not to tell everyone everything.
You're right, Veaj.
i like these...i can apply this when i get annoying questions.
thanks VJ. heehee:)
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