The two freckles on your lip are electromagnetic, nuclear voice modifiers that give you the unique ability to communicate intelligently with every animal in the world. Your first task, therefore, is obvious. Having first consulted with a pet or other animal of your choosing, you must right to your elected representative (this might be a Congressman or a Senator, I'm not sure exactly how it works in the USA) a letter explaining why this animal should be allowed to stand for election to represent the state of California, or your city, or county (again, however your system works there). The letter should outline the animal's views on taxation, public transport, the separation of church and state, foreign affairs and other politically relevant topics of the day.
Remember, this task is open to an impossibly wide degree of interpretation. Nevertheless, if your leader can be convinced you have satisfactorily fulfilled it, you will be granted the enormous privilege of setting a task for one of your fellow disciples. Remember as well, carrying out this task should be maximally spontaneous and effortlessly adventurous.
To a more spontaneous and fulfilling existence,
The Leader.
Dear Congressman Hunter,
I'm writing on behalf of my cat Maximus "Mau" Lloyd Vincente. When he learned that cats are not allowed to run for public office, he hid under the bed and hasn't come out since. When I tried to coax him out, he said "Meow, bitch" and you have to admit he has a point.
I consulted my Leader in The Cult of Spontaneous Fulfillment and Ridiculous Adventure, and he agrees, so I am writing on all our behalf.
We feel that Mau, and animals of all kinds should be allowed to represent the living creatures of 52nd Congressional district. We are all children of the Mother Owl, and this great country was founded on representation for all.
I'm hoping that with your support, we can open the government elections to representatives of all species, and end Mau's hunger strike.
Sincerely,
Sister Dandylion Moon, High Priestess of Naming Everyone Else.
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