Dear Miss VJ,
I've just been invited to a wedding. I'm excited to go because the bride and groom are my friends (obviously), but don't have a date. I'm sure I'm going to run into many acquaintances who will pull the "Oh God you're STILL single? Why?" routine. It's annoying and I don't like it. What are some great ways I can field these questions and make then feel like the slime they are for asking me the same thing over and over in a different way?
Sincerely,
Not Looking Forward To Another One Of Those Evenings
*sorts through a stack of small but thick envelopes, sniffing each one*
*sniffs one twice and tucks it into the pocket of her robe*
*waves the butler away with the rest of the letters*
Dear Looking Forward,
I suggest a sly dig in the ribs, as if they're in on a joke with you and saying with a giggle, "Yeah, exactly, *wink, wink* why would any girl wanna be single, especially at a wedding with all this champagne and eligible men in suits? Oh the humanity!" and laugh again as if you've laughed about this with them many times.
Don't hesitate, don't appear to ponder, don't in deed or action imply you're taken that ridiculous question a bit more seriously than it should be taken, which is about a serious as the meal choice on your RSVP card (althought Miss VJ suggests the fish, least likely to stain).
Have a drink and an eligible man in a suit for me!
Adorably,
Miss VJ
*turns around and the sound of tearing paper is heard, then the shuffle of pages*
*a grin wraps around Miss VJ's face so wide you can see it from the back of her head*
*distractedly*
Next question, please.
I've just been invited to a wedding. I'm excited to go because the bride and groom are my friends (obviously), but don't have a date. I'm sure I'm going to run into many acquaintances who will pull the "Oh God you're STILL single? Why?" routine. It's annoying and I don't like it. What are some great ways I can field these questions and make then feel like the slime they are for asking me the same thing over and over in a different way?
Sincerely,
Not Looking Forward To Another One Of Those Evenings
*sorts through a stack of small but thick envelopes, sniffing each one*
*sniffs one twice and tucks it into the pocket of her robe*
*waves the butler away with the rest of the letters*
Dear Looking Forward,
I suggest a sly dig in the ribs, as if they're in on a joke with you and saying with a giggle, "Yeah, exactly, *wink, wink* why would any girl wanna be single, especially at a wedding with all this champagne and eligible men in suits? Oh the humanity!" and laugh again as if you've laughed about this with them many times.
Don't hesitate, don't appear to ponder, don't in deed or action imply you're taken that ridiculous question a bit more seriously than it should be taken, which is about a serious as the meal choice on your RSVP card (althought Miss VJ suggests the fish, least likely to stain).
Have a drink and an eligible man in a suit for me!
Adorably,
Miss VJ
*turns around and the sound of tearing paper is heard, then the shuffle of pages*
*a grin wraps around Miss VJ's face so wide you can see it from the back of her head*
*distractedly*
Next question, please.
1 Comments:
Just because Miss VJ doesn't reveal the identity of the sender doesn't mean she doesn't KNOW the identity of the sender.
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