The One Where I Almost Strangled An Old Woman With A Plastic Bag In A Chinese Resturant. Accidently.
My mother and I were having lunch in a chinese resturant. It was good, and nearby, but I've never been back.
The table was small, and crowded with a lot of plates and boxes and tiny little teacups. We had so many leftovers that my mother suggested getting a bag from the waiter and taking it home.
Since it was the middle of the afternoon, the place was pretty deserted. And the older couple in the booth behind me had been so quiet, I didn't notice that they were there.
The table in front of me was so crowded that I didn't want to shake out the plastic bag in front of me, so in a joking manner, that was sure to embarrass my mother, I shook it out behind my head, noisily.
My mother looked horrified. I thought it was just that I'd made a little noise.
But then I noticed that she looked REALLY REALLY horrified.
This was why.
Suddenly, I felt resistance on the bag.
My mother says the woman just froze when the bag went over her face, spoon in hand, midair. She says that the woman never moved even after I pulled the bag away.
I don't know.
I never once looked back. I just got up and walked out of the resturant.
The table was small, and crowded with a lot of plates and boxes and tiny little teacups. We had so many leftovers that my mother suggested getting a bag from the waiter and taking it home.
Since it was the middle of the afternoon, the place was pretty deserted. And the older couple in the booth behind me had been so quiet, I didn't notice that they were there.
The table in front of me was so crowded that I didn't want to shake out the plastic bag in front of me, so in a joking manner, that was sure to embarrass my mother, I shook it out behind my head, noisily.
My mother looked horrified. I thought it was just that I'd made a little noise.
But then I noticed that she looked REALLY REALLY horrified.
This was why.
Suddenly, I felt resistance on the bag.
My mother says the woman just froze when the bag went over her face, spoon in hand, midair. She says that the woman never moved even after I pulled the bag away.
I don't know.
I never once looked back. I just got up and walked out of the resturant.
3 Comments:
HA! I don't know why I found this so funny, but I did! I would have LOVED to have been there to be able to see it.
You know, it just wouldn't have been the same without the diagrams. VERY helpful, I must say.
Oh, and that totally sounds like something I would manage to do. I'm such a klutz...
Hahahahahahaha that made me choke on my mouthful of tea and spit it out all over my desk. I'm still sitting at my desk in the middle of my open plan office and giggling to myself. Of course, my coworkers are fairly used to this sort of behaviour but they do keep giving me funny looks. Thanks for the laugh - I'll be chuckling all day over that.
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