Ask Miss VJ

Dear Miss VJ

I quite like this girl I know, and try to talk to her when I can, how should I proceed?

- Mook, as usual, confused


*laying on her stomach on the heart shaped bed, kicking her slippered feet in the air idly*

*nibbles sushi from a tacky gold plate*


Dear 'Mook as usual,

This is simple.
You should buy an old scottish castle, or a lodge in the mountains, or a big forbidding house on a lonely stretch of coastline. Doesn't matter exactly, other than it must be large and secluded, so that when your evil brother/ghosts/her ex husband begin to terrorize her, you're manly arms will be the only she has to turn to.
Then, employ her as a housekeeper/nanny of your niece and nephew(twins)/stable manager.
Oh yes, you'll need to furnish the evil brother/ghosts/ex husband and the manly arms. And the twins.

Or you could just really listen when she talks, and be nice to her and let her see how funny you are. That might work too.

Or there's liquor.

Good luck!

Adorably,
Miss VJ

*sits up and hunts for her lipstick in the bedside table*

*carefully reapplies*

Next question, please.