Monday, February 06, 2006
So I Met Miss Kendra.
When she walked up the stairs to my door, I remarked that she looked exactly like her picture. Which was prolly because she had tacked her display picture to her forehead, and underneath she was actually an asian transvestite, with a beard.

I know this for certain, because within an hour of meeting her, she took of her pants and started taking pictures of herself.

Miss Kendra takes acid like breath mints.

Miss Kendra is afraid of chickens.

Miss Kendra tore up one of my books, chewed it to a pulp, and made paper out of it.

Miss Kendra stopped up all the drains in my house.

Miss Kendra made a girl sit down and cry in front of a supermarket.

Miss Kendra lets sewer rats crawl all over her body.

Miss Kendra's car smells like the stale smoke of the human sacrafices she does on the makeshift altar on the backseat. She tries to claim it was the car's previous owner.

Miss Kendra's boyfriend is a drug dealer and there are pictures to prove it.

Miss Kendra went through 8 costume changes in the first two hours.

Miss Kendra put her dog on steriods, to help her take over the world.

Miss Kendra buys pictures of other people's babies.

Miss Kendra carries a purse she stole from an old lady.

Miss Kendra only wears a bra on one side.

She's nuts, I tell you.

I'm sure she'll have plenty of LIES about me on her blog.


Blogger miss kendra said...

you're the devil.

my completely factual account will be ready soon.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I have met Miss Kendra and I can honestly say. . . you are lucky to have survived the weekend without a jail stint or debilitating injury. But she does smell like cookies, so I guess that's okay too.

Blogger said...

Asian transvestite?

*shoots water through nose*

That was surprisingly uncomfortable for just water...

Blogger Thérèse said...

I knew it!

You know, I'm kind of afraid of chickens too. They're creepy and flappy when they're alive. And gross.

Blogger Colleen said...

Let there be tassles....
You gals are silly ;)

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

Besides the irony of being afraid of chickens, there is the humor.

Seriously? Afraid of a chicken?

Have you guys ever been around them? Have you ever seen one run? Or eat watermelon?

How on earth are they scary?

Blogger jiggs said...

I found this post extremely arousing. I hope no one walks into my office.

Blogger Egan said...

This is some good stuff. I can use your list to extort Miss Kendra the next time I chat with her. Thank you so much.

Blogger Monkey said...

I demand photo evidence of her talent for wearing a bra on only one side while allowing rodents to make free with her body.

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