Monday, February 06, 2006
Another Actual Conversation
Auto Parts Store Guy - "Yes, can I help you?"

VJ - "My father often says things to the effect that he really thinks I need a man around, to take care of me. And it always really irked me, and roused a spirit of feminism in me. Made me more determinded to hang my own pictures, squash my own bugs, I may even attempt to do my own taxes this year. 'Cause, seriously, you know. I want to be with a man because I like him, not because I can't afford a butler. And it's this line of thinking that pushes me to do things, like attempt to fix my own car. So I added oil to my car, and it went fine and I was very proud of myself. Made me wanna take off my bra and go on some sort of a protest march. Until the smoke started pouring out of my cars hood. Yeah. So I open the hood and discover that I had, like an idiot, FORGOTTEN TO PUT THE CAP BACK ON, and the oil erupted up and splashed over everything under the hood and it dripped oil on my FAVORITE YELLOW COAT when I pulled the hood up, and now my car is a moving smoke machine, and I can't believe I was so stupid and I really loved that coat, you know?

Auto Parts Store Guy - "Make and model?"

VJ - 2005 Ford Focus. She's white. And she's a she. You know, with cars you can just tell a gender. I'm sure you know what I mean. Gwen, that's her name, I just knew she was a girl. Something about her side mirrors, they just looked friendly and girly and -"

Auto Parts Store Guy - "Er, yeah. Outta stock. I can order it."

VJ - *calls all the other parts stores in the area, only to get the same answer*
*throws self down on counter and wails*
FEMINISM IS DEAD, and now I'm just gonna go marry the first guy I can get my hooks into, because my father must have been right, I can't even manage simple car repair, all my ideals are in shreds, TATTERS I TELL YOU, and unless you tell me I can fashion some sort of makeshift oil cap out of tin foil and craft supplies, then I'm just giving up and-"

Auto Parts Store Guy - "Actually, that might work, until the part comes in. Good idea."

VJ - *sits up, sniffs, shines nails on dirty yellow coat*
"Well, YEAH, it's a good idea. Everyone knows women are the smarter sex."
*winks*
"No, don't bother to get the door for me. I can get it."


7 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

i forgot to write in my post that you're incredibly dramatic.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

It's Miss K's fault. I swear. She passes the bad luck bug from host to host. . .

Blogger Colleen said...

Oh dear...if anything, you certainly gave that man something to drink about ;)

There are some people I would like to try that on around here.

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

I'll bet that guy didn't know WHAT to say! :D

Blogger Michael Tyas said...

out of breath from hysterics, starting to hyperventilate and get woozy

Blogger Thérèse said...

I still think this is stinking hilarious.

Blogger karen said...

i agree with therese...vj wailing is so funny as i can imagine.

Post a Comment

<< Home