Thursday, December 01, 2005
Christmas Star
On one of the hills surrounding El Cajon, Rattlesnake Mountain, the owners have placed a very large star light, which shines from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve.

Growing up on the hill opposite, I had a great view of it.





I was sexually abused as a child, by the father of two of my friends. One can only assume that my two friends were as well, and far more often.
I used to worry about them. I didn't sleep much as a kid.
Sometimes I would sit up and look out my window.

They lived at the base of that hill, right under the star.

So although I could never say so in all those school essays as a kid, this is what Christmas means to me.

Christmas is when you can't sleep and you look out your window and you see that light and love are looking down on what your heart holds dear.
Christmas is when there is hope, that someone sees you.
Christmas is silent nights, cold toes, and a light in the dark.


2 Comments:

Blogger Weekend Fisher said...

That's odd. I had a similar experience and I also became fond of stars during some sleepless nights. Part of the year it was Orion outside my window so I got to know Orion very well.

And sometimes I think that the people who haven't been through hell and back are missing something, not that I recommend going through hell and back as the price of gaining steadfastness, but it works.

Blogger Karen said...

i love stars, i look at the sky every night and see alot of stars and somehow wishing and hoping...and that's what i did last christmas, alone and broken, christmas was almost non-existent to me last year coz of what happened in my life but it's ok. I'm still alive and breathing which i'm thankful to God for.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you in the past *hugs and big bear hugs*. I could just imagine how hard it must be for you goin' through all that. I hope everything is well for you and for the coming years to come. God Bless from the bottom of my heart VJ.

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