I can't say it's been an easy year.
For the past couple years, each year was better than the last. In those years I learned that life doesn't always go from bad to worse, sometimes you DO find what you need, that friends are a beautiful thing, that some families have so much love that it can spill out on a throwaway girl with none of her own.
The last couple of years have been the first and only years in which I've thrived, not just survived. Granted, the bar was set pretty low by my life until then.
This year took a bit of a dip over all. I had to process a lot, a breakup, a new relationship, my parents divorce and remarriage, amoung other things. Not saying they weren't for the best (and I count that new relationship as one of the great things in my life), but I find myself at the end of the year really tired. And the times when you most need to take better care of yourself are the times when you have the least resources.
It's been a test of my strength, a test of my perseverance, a test of my determination to life a full and healthy life.
So if 2004 was the year I learned that life can be great, then 2005 was the year I learned that I can handle it when it's not all that great.
This was the year I learned that the waves may come, but my rudder is good and I know these waters better than anyone.
I'm ok with letting this year go.
And I will take 2006, it's happiness and it's hard lessons, in whatever measure they come.
For the past couple years, each year was better than the last. In those years I learned that life doesn't always go from bad to worse, sometimes you DO find what you need, that friends are a beautiful thing, that some families have so much love that it can spill out on a throwaway girl with none of her own.
The last couple of years have been the first and only years in which I've thrived, not just survived. Granted, the bar was set pretty low by my life until then.
This year took a bit of a dip over all. I had to process a lot, a breakup, a new relationship, my parents divorce and remarriage, amoung other things. Not saying they weren't for the best (and I count that new relationship as one of the great things in my life), but I find myself at the end of the year really tired. And the times when you most need to take better care of yourself are the times when you have the least resources.
It's been a test of my strength, a test of my perseverance, a test of my determination to life a full and healthy life.
So if 2004 was the year I learned that life can be great, then 2005 was the year I learned that I can handle it when it's not all that great.
This was the year I learned that the waves may come, but my rudder is good and I know these waters better than anyone.
I'm ok with letting this year go.
And I will take 2006, it's happiness and it's hard lessons, in whatever measure they come.
2 Comments:
Homeward bound,i wish i was,homeward bound.Home,where my thoughts escaping,home,where my musics playing.Home,where my love lies waiting silently for me.
It's about the lessons, though, isn't it? And, I mean, you probably wouldn't be as appreciative and attentive if it had all come easy.
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