The other night Adam reminded me of something I'd said a few years ago. I'd said that I was scared of having kids because of the genetic predispostion to depression that runs in my family. I mean, what a legacy to pass on.
"Hi kid. Welcome to life. You've got a good shot that you're gonna spiral into depression and wanna stick your head in an oven like you great-grandfather. You're going to deal with random crippling fears like your grandmother and mother. You're gonna have to fight everyday to maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol. You'll probably never sleep. And you'll hate your father. We all seem to. Have a lollipop."
I told Adam that I just didn't live with that kind of fear anymore.
Every parent passes on genetic weakness of some kind to their children, anything from a disease that will kill them at the age of 12, to a receding hairline, to simply their own mortality.
A parents job is to teach their children how to take care of themselves.
And I can do that now. I didn't drift into mental health. I worked every day for it. I treat myself kindly, I eat well and laugh often. I surround myself with people that treat themselves and me and the world the same way. I've got a million tricks up my sleeve, and I sure can teach 'em. I will work so hard, do anything I have to, confront any demon, so I can show my kids how to live as whole people. And if my kids grow up to be just like me, that's not a bad fate to wish on someone.
Plus, they'll have one thing I didn't.
Me.
"Hi kid. Welcome to life. You've got a good shot that you're gonna spiral into depression and wanna stick your head in an oven like you great-grandfather. You're going to deal with random crippling fears like your grandmother and mother. You're gonna have to fight everyday to maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol. You'll probably never sleep. And you'll hate your father. We all seem to. Have a lollipop."
I told Adam that I just didn't live with that kind of fear anymore.
Every parent passes on genetic weakness of some kind to their children, anything from a disease that will kill them at the age of 12, to a receding hairline, to simply their own mortality.
A parents job is to teach their children how to take care of themselves.
And I can do that now. I didn't drift into mental health. I worked every day for it. I treat myself kindly, I eat well and laugh often. I surround myself with people that treat themselves and me and the world the same way. I've got a million tricks up my sleeve, and I sure can teach 'em. I will work so hard, do anything I have to, confront any demon, so I can show my kids how to live as whole people. And if my kids grow up to be just like me, that's not a bad fate to wish on someone.
Plus, they'll have one thing I didn't.
Me.
3 Comments:
beautiful
i feel just the same.
aww..God will surely give you more and more blessings.*big smile*
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