I Swear I Didn't Make This Up.

This is an actual letter I sent to my cousin, written during summer camp.
This is for Carolyn, who never got to go to camp.

I am 11 or 12 here, and you'll notice that like most Jr. Highers, I am unimpressed and bored with the world, and the sophistication of being extremely well-summer-camp-traveled lends a veneer of snobbery. The stuff in bold I'm adding now.

Dear Caleb,

Friday, June 24th, 9:00 PM

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for summer camp at 10:30AM. It should be fun! I've been saving (read - 'begging off my 'rents) for it for months. This going to be a kind of diary-letter (what I wouldn't have done for a blog in those days), and I'll send it to you when I get back at the end of the week. Well it's getting late and I'm nowhere near done packing. Yikes! (Read - I've only filled 1 1/2 suitcases, and as this was before I discovered the concept of packing light, I literally hiked up to my cabin with conscripted valets.)

Sat, June 25th, 6:00 AM

Still not done packing! (read - suitcase actually closes without being sat upon) I got up early for two reason (1) I couldn't sleep (never could as a kid) and (2) finish packing! Well, if I'm going to get anywhere. (Now where did I put my blue sweater?)

Sat, June 25th, 11:19 AM

*shaky handwriting*
I'm on the bus (which by the way, I think is an old hay wagon made into a bus by an over-ambitious shop class.) My first clue that this wasn't the perfect camp was the fact that I noticed that all the repeat campers were either sobbing uncontrollaby or desperatly trying to use the zippers on their jackets to saw through the bars on the windows. Since you most likely can't read this anyway ( guess the bus forgot shocks), I close for now. (Hmm. I was funny.)

Sat, June 25th, 1:29 PM

Still driving.

Sat, June 25th, 2:33 PM

Still driving.
They say we will be there soon (if the bus doesn't break down again). All the are all huddled in little groups saying, "if I don't make it, where's a copy of my will" or "if you die, can I have your stereo?" The future looks grim.

Sat, June 25th, 5:01 PM

I'm standing in line for dinner.

Sat, June 25th, 5:23 PM

Finally got out of line. I was standing in line when Nathan (ah, Nathan. The first boy I ever stuffed my bra for. *sigh*) came and said Hi. Thats the first time he even showed that he even knew my name. (I later came to learn that he was dumb as a box of rocks, so it wasn't all that surprising that he wouldn't know the name of his best friend's little sister/friend of his cousin who had the same name. What can I say, I was 12. I was into dumb and pretty. More on that to come.)

Sat, June 25th, 8:41 PM

I'm laying on my top bunk right now. Given a choice most kids would choose sleeping in a book shelf than these bunks. You can't inhale more than a cubic inch without fear of cracking a rib. Well, pray for me.

Sunday, June 26th, 6:17 AM

I'm sitting on my bunk wide awake. Nothing to do. I don't think anybody slept.

Sunday, June 26th, 4:11 PM

Well, I've been busy today. I offered to do KP (Read - bus girl duties. Most kids hated this chore, but caught onto the fact that it allowed you to come and go during meals, a privilege none of the other kids had. Go to a million summer camps in your life, and you get wise to these things.) all week. I know that was dumb, but I was afraid I'd get stuck with something worse. Anyway, it impressed the guard, I mean table counselor and he gave me an award pin. By the way, both Nathan and Joe (*sigh* Joe. My other weakness at that age, shy and pretty men. Incidently, my cousin Caleb and I coresponded regulary and he was familiar with all these names, and offered me advice on boys. Sometimes I wish we still wrote each other.) are here, and Joe's on my team (the Red Team!) We played this dumb game were all the boys had to put their right shoe in a big pile and then all the girls had to grab a shoe and I got guess who's? JOES! I think he thinks I did it on purpose. (Oh, the drama!) Oh, gotta go!

Monday, June 27th, 6:34 AM

They made the stupidest rule. After they turn off the lights at ten, you can't talk or even whisper until seven o'clock. (This was the camp I refer to as 'Junior Over-Achiever Obsessive-Compulsive Camp' and kids would actually turn themselves in for a point deduction if they sneezed during lights out. I'm really not kidding.) Well, I guess I'll work on these Bible verses I have to learn.

Monday, June 27th, 8:42 AM

I'm sitting in the dining hall but I must go.

Monday, June 27th, 3:49 PM

People keep telling me that this guy, Jeff, thinks I'm cute! Two girls came up and said, "We offered to ask you out for Jeff, but he said that he would do it." (Ah, Jr. High. The only time in your life when you could have a crush, start dating, declare undying love, get jealous, fight, and break up, all without ever having any direct contact with each other. *sigh*) I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, June 28th, 9:11 AM

He likes me! But Jeff it too shy to talk to me. And somehow he heard that I didn't like him. (Actually, I think it had more to do with him being just-barely smart enough to know that talking wasn't his strong suit and looking pretty and winking from a distance was.)

Thursday, June 30th, 6:53 AM

Jeff and I are going out!! He has real low self-esteem (Read - to dumb to think of anything charmingly self-deprecating to say, so he simply repeats what other people say about him) and he's very shy (Read - Didn't understand half the questions I asked him) but he's the coolest guy in the world. He's 14 but he looks like he's at least 18 or 19. (This was actually true. We must have looked 8 kinds of illegal together.) He's so cute! He's 6'1, blond, and has blue eyes. I have to go and take a shower. (*giggle* I actually wrote that without any idea how it sounded. *giggle*)

Thursday, June 30th, 10:34 AM

Ok, I'm back. I'm supposed to be doing my bible lesson. All the girls are jealous of me because I got the 'pick of the lot'. I think that's how some rumors got started about me and Jeff. (Supposedly we snuck off the campground together. Which is ABSURD. I snuck off alone. I did that a lot. I made friends with some older couple that had a cabin nearby and I snuck off every year to go sit on the front porch and sip lemonade with them. I would have been sent home and never allowed to return if I got caught. I wish I remembered their names. Maybe I'll go see if they still spend summers in that cabin.)

Sat, July 2nd, 11:03 AM

Sorry I haven't written more. I've been busy, you know. (My adult dirty mind giggles at this. 'Cause it's true.) I'm on the bus going home. This week has been fun. (And tiring. Hence the very short sentences.) I don't want to go home, but oh well. (Besides, I'm sure I was leaving again in a matter of days for some other camp.)

Your Cousin,
[Valancy Jane]

P.S. We stopped at a MacDonalds for lunch and Jeff was there! His bus stopped at the same place! (That wasn't only the last time I saw him, it was also the last time I ever even thought about him. Ah, the fickleness of young love.)
Second from right, that's me at camp.