Monday, July 18, 2005
A tribute to 'Nice Guys'
This was forwarded to me, and I just had to share it. I date a 'nice guy' and believe me, I KNOW what I've got. And I have appreciated each and every one of the nice guys that have been there for me over the years. Karma will be kind to you.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing 'serious' between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.
But one thing I do know, is that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


5 Comments:

Blogger Mafia! said...

There's a difference between decent blokes and 'nice' guys. Decent blokes are few and far between. In Christian circles there are far too many 'nice' blokes, those who seem to have denied their manliness. But decent blokes are few and far between, those men who are a lot of what that post describes, but at the same time, they are well aware that they are men, and they embrace their manliness.

Men need to be men!!!!!!!

Blogger Valancy Jane said...

Yes, but this post wasn't about critizing people. It was about appreciating the kindness people have shown me, for whatever reason.

Blogger Jm said...

mafia, not all men are tarzan-esque loin-cloth wearing brutes.

For me to try to act like that would be to deny how God made me.

Annnnnnnnnd.... (gets on his soapbox lol) the church is exactly the place for wimps and "nice" men, because we don't feel we have to live up to the macho image pushed on to us. Jesus' kingdom is about the unloved, unwanted, and we love God more because we know we're not what we should be, but he loves us anyway. So there!! *pokes tongues* lol

Blogger T said...

Jm - she wasn't talking about being macho and all the rubbish associated with that - quite the opposite.

I'm not going to start a discussion here, I'm just going to say that if you've read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge, you'll know what she's on about. And if you're a Christian guy and you *haven't* read it - you really should!!! At least that's the concensus I've had from *every* Christian guy that's ever read it (myself included).

Ladies - you should read it too..find out a bit more about how the mind of a guy works ;)

Blogger Valancy Jane said...

I know we're all well intentioned here, but this seems to be veering close to qestioning each other's manhood.
This is not a forum for that.

To each their own, and I'm grateful for the men that have treated me better than I treated them.

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