So then I said........

.......... "This song makes me think of my cat."

What I thought was, "This song makes me think of my cat, stroking his head in the vet hospital and singing this song to him, like I'd done countless times before, begging for it to not be the last."

I've written about my cat Maximus a lot, I know, and put myself at the risk of sounding like a crazy cat lady. I've even written about this before. But there is a lot of pain and power in my memories of days when he was really all I had in this world. I remember days when the ONLY reason I broke out of my depression was to feed him. I remember days when the only reason I got up was him.

Is that sad? Absolutely. So was I, and so was my life for a good long while. He deserved better.

I always think of him as my little trooper. We were protective of each other. We were a couple of throwaways, tossed out into the world, for who ever would have us. There were days I didn't know who I was or where I belonged, other than home was where my cheery little ball of fluff was. He never failed me, and I was determinded never to fail him.

I got help, I got friends, I got myself a beautiful hodgepodge family, I got hope, I got God, I stopped looking for love in a bottle of tequila.

Its amazing what unconditional love can do, even from a cat.

Is this crazy? Absolutely. So was I, for a good long while. He deserved better.

Will I love my cat unabashedly, devotedly? Absolutely. For a good long while. He deserves it.






Oh, and the song?

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time............