Before I had the Worlds Greatest Boss..........

............. I had plenty of other types. And as everyone knows, you gotta learn coping strategies for each type. Here's one helpful tip, for dealing with the Mr. Intimidating 'Cause I'm Bigger and Meaner Boss.

I had Mr. ICBMB at a telemarketing firm. Actually I had three supervisors at that job. Jadon, who I dated, so he was easy to deal with. "Sorry I'm late, here's your shirt, dear." Also Devery, who was, well, flirty, but not annoyingly so. If you sorta flirted a bit, he'd let you get away with murder, but he never took you seriously. "Say, Dev, can I leave early? The men installing the mirror over my bed are coming this afternoon." That sort of thing. He was easy going and funny anyway.
Then there was Mr. ICBMB. His previous job had been as a drill instructor for the marines. He wanted, no, NEEDED you to be afraid of him. I don't respond well to people like that. To me, they're just bullies. Once he yelled at me for having a deck of playing cards on my desk. I figured, this is ridiculous.
I wasn't bigger, I wasn't meaner, and he clearly outranked me at work. I needed something.

So I pretended to be demon-possessed. Only around him. He was so thrown, it honestly scared the crap out of him.


I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, "No one could actually be that shameless."

But yes, I really could.

You're thinking, "He wouldn't buy it. He'd laugh it off."

He really had no sense of humor and couldn't comprehend anyone being so creative as to use this as a tactic. He took me as seriously as he took himself.

How?

Well, I would start a sentence normally, and progress through the following steps very quickly before he could respond.

"So, I have a question about the new order verification forms, do I have you sign them and THEN pass it to -"
*sudden switch to gravelly deep throated voice, like a barely controlled roar*
"BACK OFF!!!!!!!!!!"
*bewildered look, stagger, take a step back, blink, look around, look back, rub temples, blink*
"I'm sorry. Were you saying something? My head really hurts. What were you saying?"

And I'd just sit there blinking and rubbing the side of my temples, and waiting for him to 'finish what he was talking about.'

He'd stand there, silent. Once I saw a coherent sentence making it's way to his lips, so I added, "Do you have an aspirin? I've been getting these weird like blackout migraine things lately."

It only took three times before he'd immediatly turn and walk away when he saw me coming. And who could he complain too? All my other supervisors thought I was sweet. He was really unnerved.

Moral of the Story -
Power belongs to the shameless.
People will respond to anger or agressiveness in kind. Craziness, they will just back away.

Oh, and just to show how far I pushed it? The company made a big stink about us telemarketers having open containers of liquids at our desk, because they were losing to much equipment to spillage. So they made a new rule that you could only have 'spill-proof' containers on your desk. So I took an empty vodka bottle, filled it with water, put one of those special pouring lids on it, and openly chugged water from it whenever he passed. He NEVER said a word.