Since San Diego is warm and sunny pretty much year round, some people complain that they miss having 'real seasons'.
However I would like to point out that San Diego HAS seasons, just different ones than other places.
We have Wildfire Season, always a fun one. We celebrate by creating a 'non-flamable moat area' around our houses, clearing all the dried brush in a 50 yard radius around all buildings. Always a good way to work on your tan and get in shape for bathing suit season.
We have Rattlesnake Season, when we go around stomping heavily to warn the snakes of our approach (which will hopefully encourage them to leave the area). The snakes celebrate by laying out on rocks and paths and roads to warm in the sun. The ER is pretty busy with snakebites this time of year. And there is always that one weird guy in the neighborhood that crashes your BBQ with snake kababs and snake jerky. Not kidding.
Of course, the aforementioned Bathing Suit Season. Now, tans and figures are maintained year round, but in Feb and March, girls begin whipping in shape for summer, no easy task. Your tan needs to be darkened, to avoid bad summer burns. A tan is a necessity in the summer, not a luxury. So expect to see a lot of laying out by the pool in these months.
Tourist Season. A season we dread for a snotty reason we're ashamed to admit to. It's not that we aren't friendly, really. It's that tourists offend our sense of beauty, with their hot pink plastic sun visors, sock and sandal footware, and loud t-shirts worn into the water at the beach. If you visit, it's fine if you take all the parking spaces and ask for directions. We like making friends and sharing the beautiful city that we are so proud of. But please, leave the tacky beach towels at home. Much as we politely try to hide it, we cringe. We know, it's horrible of us. We know.
Mudslide Season. This season doesn't happen every year, only in the event of rain following wildfire season. If the plants have burned, then there are no roots holding the dirt into the side of the hills, and rain makes it slide right down. Blocks roads, maybe takes out a house or two. It's rare, mostly because rain is so rare.
Christmas Season. Lasts only for the month of december, when everyone sweats in big tacky embroidered sweaters and sprays fake snow in the windowsills of their house in a pathetic attempt to delude ourselves that we live in a 'winter wonderland'. With palm trees.
I think I should make a regional calander.
However I would like to point out that San Diego HAS seasons, just different ones than other places.
We have Wildfire Season, always a fun one. We celebrate by creating a 'non-flamable moat area' around our houses, clearing all the dried brush in a 50 yard radius around all buildings. Always a good way to work on your tan and get in shape for bathing suit season.
We have Rattlesnake Season, when we go around stomping heavily to warn the snakes of our approach (which will hopefully encourage them to leave the area). The snakes celebrate by laying out on rocks and paths and roads to warm in the sun. The ER is pretty busy with snakebites this time of year. And there is always that one weird guy in the neighborhood that crashes your BBQ with snake kababs and snake jerky. Not kidding.
Of course, the aforementioned Bathing Suit Season. Now, tans and figures are maintained year round, but in Feb and March, girls begin whipping in shape for summer, no easy task. Your tan needs to be darkened, to avoid bad summer burns. A tan is a necessity in the summer, not a luxury. So expect to see a lot of laying out by the pool in these months.
Tourist Season. A season we dread for a snotty reason we're ashamed to admit to. It's not that we aren't friendly, really. It's that tourists offend our sense of beauty, with their hot pink plastic sun visors, sock and sandal footware, and loud t-shirts worn into the water at the beach. If you visit, it's fine if you take all the parking spaces and ask for directions. We like making friends and sharing the beautiful city that we are so proud of. But please, leave the tacky beach towels at home. Much as we politely try to hide it, we cringe. We know, it's horrible of us. We know.
Mudslide Season. This season doesn't happen every year, only in the event of rain following wildfire season. If the plants have burned, then there are no roots holding the dirt into the side of the hills, and rain makes it slide right down. Blocks roads, maybe takes out a house or two. It's rare, mostly because rain is so rare.
Christmas Season. Lasts only for the month of december, when everyone sweats in big tacky embroidered sweaters and sprays fake snow in the windowsills of their house in a pathetic attempt to delude ourselves that we live in a 'winter wonderland'. With palm trees.
I think I should make a regional calander.
1 Comments:
Someday soon you will have a Sven season when I get enough money for a flight. Be prepared.
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