1. Someone offers you £100,000,000 (or the equivalent in the relevant weird currency) on the one condition that you have permanent, irreversible facial reconstructive surgery that will render you hideously, frighteningly ugly. Do you accept? that's tough. Money and looks matter equally to me, which is very, very little. I'll let JR decide if the money is worth looking at me. He would be living more with the consequences of that choice.
2. One week later, do you regret your decision? Never. Unless it involves hair bleach.
3. How do you know for sure that Jennifer Aniston exists? Because she is mentioned in scripture. Before she was married to Brad Pitt, she begat Dodanim (Genesis 10:4)
4. If you had to choose, would you? I would have already made up my mind before I had to choose. I hate to taint my decisions with knowledge.
5. A man walks into a pub. What happens next? He buys a round for everyone and they all lived happily ever after. The end.
6. You see Stephen Hawking, world famous theoretical physicist, coming towards you in his magic wheelchair. Do you:
a). flick his ears, or
b). ask him to say, "a pig, in a cage, on anti-biotics" through his robo-voice device, or
c). offer him a banana?
I would tell him that I absolutely loved the last romance novel he wrote and that the end where he rescues her from the wild boar and they make passionate love on the deck of his yacht, just really touched me.
7. In order to become one of the "undead", you first have to die. But the living are also, in a sense, undead. Does this sort of thing bother you, or can you just put it to the back of your mind and enjoy the spectacle of zombies messily eating innocent and vulnerable people? Since horror movies tend to be low-budget, I zero in on the background scenery and props to find flaws.
8. In your own personal philosophy of logic, are you naturally inclined towards a neo-Fregean semantic dualism? Not a fancy 'neo-fregean' semantic dualism. Just a regular semantic dualism.
9. You wake up one morning to discover that the world is literally, and not metaphorically, your oyster. Now what? Well, drop the kosher diet, for one thing. Not much point there, anymore.
10. Women shouting in German over industrial noise: sinister or sexy? Sweet really. Reminds me of home and Mumsie.
11. Were you in the cubs or the girl guides, or something like that, as a child? Absurd wasn't it? I won the astronomy badge, you know. I was in the AWANA program. I think I broke every record for scripture memorization. They made me my own team and made me complete against teams of 6-8 other kids. I still whopped 'em. I was a dork with waaaaaaaaaay to much time on her hands.
12. When was the last time you knocked on someone's door and ran away giggling? Last week actually. Laura and I were cooking in Bashar's (the Adorable Jordanian Neighbor, aka AJN, and not be confused with his roommate Sal, the Adorable Palestinian/Jordanian Neighbor, aka APJN) kitchen and Bashar went to take a shower. I suggested that we go and dump a cup of ice cubes over the shower stall down onto him and so we loaded up and went. As I got to the door of the bathroom, a sudden fear of sparking a international incident (someday we will discuss the carnage of the food fight of '04) overtook me, coupled with the idea that, good heavens, I might, you know, SEE something. I insisted that Laura go first. She insisted that I go first. After five minutes of whispering and only getting as far as opening the door about four inches, we heard the food on the stove start to boil over and just ran away giggling.
13. Who cares what your favourite colour is? My boyfriend. Maybe.
14. How many emotions do you experience on a normal day?
a). 1 - 5
b). 6 -10
c). Bollocks!
d). All of them
15. Astrology: harmless nonsense, exact science, the embodiment of all that is evil or simply irritating? Simply irritating. Someone who insists on telling me that Mercury in my rising house means I will have a meaningful connection to an old lover today is about as fun as when the underwire in my bra cuts thru and stabs me in the armpit repeatedly throughout the day.
16. "Only Smarties have the answer". To what? If you don't know, then I can't tell you.
17. What does the phrase "metaphysical sandwich" convey to you? Hmmmm. In need of a good honey mustard sauce.
18. Commons or Lords? Commons. More letters equal better.
19. Chalk or cheese? Cheese, for sheer versitility. It's not only edible, it writes better on walls then chalk. However, I can't fully explain that without telling the saga of the aforementioned food fight of '04.
20. Health or safety? Health. Safety is an illusion.
21. Cain or Abel? Same amount of letters, so a tie. And in the event of a tie, Seth wins.
22. Cops or robbers? Accountants.
23. Yes or no? Yes.
24. Epiphenomenalism or eliminative materialism? When you talk like that, Jonny, it frightens and arouses me, all at once.
25. What is mayonnaise? Whipped oil, I believe. Or the bastard cousin of sour cream.
2. One week later, do you regret your decision? Never. Unless it involves hair bleach.
3. How do you know for sure that Jennifer Aniston exists? Because she is mentioned in scripture. Before she was married to Brad Pitt, she begat Dodanim (Genesis 10:4)
4. If you had to choose, would you? I would have already made up my mind before I had to choose. I hate to taint my decisions with knowledge.
5. A man walks into a pub. What happens next? He buys a round for everyone and they all lived happily ever after. The end.
6. You see Stephen Hawking, world famous theoretical physicist, coming towards you in his magic wheelchair. Do you:
a). flick his ears, or
b). ask him to say, "a pig, in a cage, on anti-biotics" through his robo-voice device, or
c). offer him a banana?
I would tell him that I absolutely loved the last romance novel he wrote and that the end where he rescues her from the wild boar and they make passionate love on the deck of his yacht, just really touched me.
7. In order to become one of the "undead", you first have to die. But the living are also, in a sense, undead. Does this sort of thing bother you, or can you just put it to the back of your mind and enjoy the spectacle of zombies messily eating innocent and vulnerable people? Since horror movies tend to be low-budget, I zero in on the background scenery and props to find flaws.
8. In your own personal philosophy of logic, are you naturally inclined towards a neo-Fregean semantic dualism? Not a fancy 'neo-fregean' semantic dualism. Just a regular semantic dualism.
9. You wake up one morning to discover that the world is literally, and not metaphorically, your oyster. Now what? Well, drop the kosher diet, for one thing. Not much point there, anymore.
10. Women shouting in German over industrial noise: sinister or sexy? Sweet really. Reminds me of home and Mumsie.
11. Were you in the cubs or the girl guides, or something like that, as a child? Absurd wasn't it? I won the astronomy badge, you know. I was in the AWANA program. I think I broke every record for scripture memorization. They made me my own team and made me complete against teams of 6-8 other kids. I still whopped 'em. I was a dork with waaaaaaaaaay to much time on her hands.
12. When was the last time you knocked on someone's door and ran away giggling? Last week actually. Laura and I were cooking in Bashar's (the Adorable Jordanian Neighbor, aka AJN, and not be confused with his roommate Sal, the Adorable Palestinian/Jordanian Neighbor, aka APJN) kitchen and Bashar went to take a shower. I suggested that we go and dump a cup of ice cubes over the shower stall down onto him and so we loaded up and went. As I got to the door of the bathroom, a sudden fear of sparking a international incident (someday we will discuss the carnage of the food fight of '04) overtook me, coupled with the idea that, good heavens, I might, you know, SEE something. I insisted that Laura go first. She insisted that I go first. After five minutes of whispering and only getting as far as opening the door about four inches, we heard the food on the stove start to boil over and just ran away giggling.
13. Who cares what your favourite colour is? My boyfriend. Maybe.
14. How many emotions do you experience on a normal day?
a). 1 - 5
b). 6 -10
c). Bollocks!
d). All of them
15. Astrology: harmless nonsense, exact science, the embodiment of all that is evil or simply irritating? Simply irritating. Someone who insists on telling me that Mercury in my rising house means I will have a meaningful connection to an old lover today is about as fun as when the underwire in my bra cuts thru and stabs me in the armpit repeatedly throughout the day.
16. "Only Smarties have the answer". To what? If you don't know, then I can't tell you.
17. What does the phrase "metaphysical sandwich" convey to you? Hmmmm. In need of a good honey mustard sauce.
18. Commons or Lords? Commons. More letters equal better.
19. Chalk or cheese? Cheese, for sheer versitility. It's not only edible, it writes better on walls then chalk. However, I can't fully explain that without telling the saga of the aforementioned food fight of '04.
20. Health or safety? Health. Safety is an illusion.
21. Cain or Abel? Same amount of letters, so a tie. And in the event of a tie, Seth wins.
22. Cops or robbers? Accountants.
23. Yes or no? Yes.
24. Epiphenomenalism or eliminative materialism? When you talk like that, Jonny, it frightens and arouses me, all at once.
25. What is mayonnaise? Whipped oil, I believe. Or the bastard cousin of sour cream.
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