You know you are addicted to caffeine when........

You answer the door before people knock.
You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze.
You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
You don't sweat... you percolate.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You short out motion detectors.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You ski uphill.
Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.
You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"
You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.
You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend"
You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
You know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.
You have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.
You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
You have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA"
Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.
The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
You see nothing wrong with using water joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.
It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.